Fate
by SignsofSam
Summary: When Nathan's life is torn apart by his parents' untimely deaths and other unfortunate events he cannot prevent, who will be there to help him through his pain? Pairings: Naley, Brucas, KarenKeith, Angsty & Nathan Centric. EPILOGUENOVEMBER 2nd, 2006
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Crying Out for Life**

The loud music pounded into Nathan's ears as he dunked the ball, trying to conentrate on tonight's game rather than his parent's fighting inside their big house. Their voices had reverberated off of ever surface in the house and to the outised, to his ears. Music blaring had finally drowned out their harsh words and biting tones.

Tonight's game. He was worried. His half-brother was playing tonight, and Nathan's blood boil at the thought of playing side-by-side with that _bastard_. His father's 'love' child with Karen Roe, who Nathan secretly liked, just like he liked Lucas, but he had been taught to hate, to dispise. Karen had been sweet to him the one time they had talked, when he had to go into the café to ask Haley a question about an essay he was writing. Her coffee had been wonderful, as had the piece of cake she had given him. He didn't want to hate her.

So, inside, he didn't.

"Dammit, Deb! He's sixteen-" his father yelled.

"-And you're killing him!" His mother threw back. He rolled his eyes, glancing at his watch. Time to go, thank God. He put down his ball, turning down his music as he walked into his house, his parents stopping their argument when he walked in.

"Oh, now, don't stop on my account," he snapped, grabbing his gym bag, stopping to look at both of them. "It never stopped you before."

"Nathan-" his mother warned as his father glared.

"I'm leaving now," Nathan snapped, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "Don't wait up. Why do I tell you that? You don't care."

"Nathan, we do care. Stop being a brat-"

"Start being a parent, then," Nathan spat out, raising his eyebrow with a smirk on his face. He loved to beat his father at his own game. He left them, climbing into his black Cadillac Escalade, quickly backing out of the driveway, his tires screeching as he sped off.

When he got to the locker room, it was empty.

Except for Lucas.

He grimaced as he moved past his brother, opening his own locker, shoving in his jacket. He looked at the picture of his mother and him, shaking his head as he ripped the picture out, crumbling it up and throwing it in the trash can.

He turned to Lucas as he pulled off his shirt, pulling on his jersey. "Listen, man…tonight…let's win this thing, okay?" he asked softly, looking at his brother. "We can be a good team together, Luke; let's face it, we** are** a good team when we try."

Lucas looked surprised; his brother wanted to be friends. Nathan never wanted that. Usually he was concentrating on making Lucas' life hell. But, Luke could see something was wrong. He saw the pain in Nate's blue eyes. "Sure, Nate. Just don't screw me over and we'll be good."

"Deal."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm always okay," Nathan replied, running a hand through his hair. "I'm just tired of arguing, of hearing people argue. So tired of it."

"Haley said you were stressed out."

Nathan smirked, cracking his knuckles. "Stress. That's the least of my problems."

The game was going well at the half. The Ravens were leading by twenty-one, mostly in part to Lucas and Nathan. Whitey was more than surprised at the natural ability they had as a team. He was even more surprised that Nathan wasn't trying to ruin Lucas' potential, instead enhancing it with his own ability.

Nathan threw himself to the seat by his brother, wiping sweat off his face with a towel, remembering how mad his father looked. He'd pay for his teamwork effort tonight, he knew. The verbal abuse he got from his father was immense and often-while he was eating breakfast, on the way home from practice, before he went to bed-whenever it pleased his dad and pissed him off the most.

But all of that would be worth it for that look of anger on his father's face.

"Nathan?" he looked up, surprised to see a water bottle being offered to him.

"Thanks," Nathan returned.

Outside, Dan was seething. How could Nathan play with ithat/i kid? He looked at his wife, quietly talking with his old high school flame, Karen Roe, and his brother, Keith. They were all probably _glad_ that Nathan and Lucas were getting along. It was Dan's worst fear because now they could realize how much they had in common, and how good of friends they could be.

Haley looked at the two brothers joking lightly with one another-comfortable, for once in their young lives. She smiled at both of them, going up. "You two did so good!" she exclaimed, hugging Lucas, then Nathan.

Nathan shrugged, looking at Lucas. "We did make a good team."

"Maybe we can do it again sometime," Lucas added, to which Nathan nodded. "Well, we'll see you-"

"Hey, listen, there's a party tonight at Tim's house. It's kind of a team wind down thing, but there'll be cheerleaders and some others there. If you want to come-"

"Sure, man. We'll follow you?"

"NATHAN!"

They all cringed at the voice, and Nathan's eyes flashed panic. "Nathan, where are you going? Especially with _them_?"

"None of your idamn/i business," Nathan bit back, tensing up. Haley put a comfortable hand on his shoulder. "Just leave me alone, Dad. We won the game-that's all you were looking for. You can go away now."

Dan jerked Nathan back, galring at him. "Don't talk back to me!"

"Then don't talk."

"Na-"

Nathan jerked away from him, stumbling forward. "Dad, you might not want to ruin your pristine image by slapping your son."

And then he walked away.

Lucas just got to see _it_. The it he didn't tell his friends, or show the outside world. The vunerable side. The side that showed emotions besides jackass and arrogance. The side that showed the major cracks in his family and in his life. He glared at his father before turning and following Nathan. After the leap his brother had taken to be friends, the least he could do was be sympathetic.

"You just don't understand, Haley! He's a jerk! He just-he won't stop!" he heard Nathan exclaim to his best friend, clinching his hands in fists. "I hate him! I hate every word he says to me, because it's all just a lie!"

"I know, Nathan," she replied sweetly, hugging him tightly. Lucas watched his brother hug her back, slumping in her arms as his emotions overwhelmed him. "It's okay. We're all okay. Your father isn't here anymore. It's just us and Luke. And neither one of us is going to do that. I promise."

"God, I feel like an idiot," Nathan muttered, looking at his brother.

"I'm not gonna tell," Lucas promised, to which Haley nodded. "Now, this party…you gonna show us where it is or are you gonna make me guess in the middle of the rich side of Tree Hill?"

"Oh, I was planning on leaving you here," Nathan returned, not missing a beat as he grinned. "C'mon-it's not that far." He went to his SUV, making sure both Lucas and Haley were in the truck before he started off toward Tim's house.

In the truck, Haley watched Lucas' hands tighten around the steering wheel as Nathan led them on many unknown streets. Lucas had never been on this side of town, and he was uncomfortable with the large house, manicured lawns, country-club feel. Haley had tutored Nathan quite often at his house, and had finally eased into the idea of this fantastical lifestyle. He was afraid of this lifestyle, while Nathan embraced it.

"Lucas, it's okay," she comforted her best friend, who raised her eye at him.

"How the hell is it okay?" he asked back, looking ahead as Nathan took a right onto yet another lamp-lit road with beautifully manicured streets.

"You're going to hang out with the team, without them hazing you, and you and Nathan are actually getting along. Just enjoy it."

"Why would he do this?"

"Who? Nathan?" Lucas nodded. "Maybe he's just tired of all the crap that's gone on between you two. His father is putting so much pressure on him, as are the teachers at the school and the expectation of his peers. Maybe he wants someone in his corner for once, someone who isn't gonna judge him or use him to ride into a championship. Maybe he just needs his brother for once. You can't think that he's doing this to humiliate you if you want a relationship with him."

"Hales, he's done so many things wrong," Lucas whispered as they pulled up to Tim's huge house, parking behind Nathan's car.

"Give him a chance, Luke." He nodded, climbing out of the car as Nathan came over, his hands stuffed in his pocket, his happy façade back on. Lucas joined the small group that huddled around Nathan, tensing up.

"Nice three pointer at the half, man," a teammate, Dustin, commented, giving Lucas a smile and a 'man-hug'.

"Yeah, you and Nathan are a great team together," Tim said next. "Come on in. We have broads, booze, and a whole lot of fun." Nathan grinned back to Lucas, falling back beside Haley.

"You're doing good with him," she commented, a sweet smile sliding across her face. "I'm so proud of both of you."

"I'm trying, Hales. Trying being the operative word. It's hard. I don't think I've felt so stupid my whole life," he returned as the walked inside, hearing the blasting rap music. "So, I'm gonna go find a beer. You want one?"

"Why do you need to drink?"

"Because I don't want to feel anything," Nathan answered honestly.

"Dance with me."

"What? Haley, you told me you don't dance…"

"C'mon, superstar, show me some moves," she challenged, taking his hand and leading him to the crowded great room where other teens were grinding to the music. Instead, Nathan danced close to Haley, his hands raising her arms above her head until they wrapped around his neck, smirking at her as he pushed even closer. Thankfully, Haley was rewarded with a slow song, and she gratefully wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his chest.

Lucas watched his best friend and his brother dance, their bodies close as they swayed to the rhythm. He glared at them, shaking his head as he sipped his drink. "Whatcha staring at, Broody?" a voice whispered in his ear as arms wrapped around his shoulders. She followed his glare to the couple. "What, Boy Toy and Tutorgirl? Luke, they're so cute together. She's so…tutory and he's so…cocky. They're like ying and yang and they have that chemistry…"

"I just-"

"Nate's a good guy, Lucas. One of the best. Even though he doesn't show it to you, he's changed so much since he met Haley. He's kinder, more gentle-she's changed him. Look at him-he's even coming to you civilly. She takes the asshole in him and turns it into a sweetheart. What more do you want for your best friend?"

"Someone I respect," Lucas mumbled as Brooke pulled him up. "Where are we going, Cheery?"

"To dance. What did you expect?"

Nathan sighed as Haley led him toward the kitchen, begging for a drink and a break from moving her feet and her body in a rhythmic movement. She grinned in a giddy excitement as she felt his hand on her back, leading her through crowded hallways to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Sprite for her. Her eyes caught onto something on his wrist, and she gripped it, pulling it into the light.

Two crisscrossed scars, and a long one running down his arm.

She looked up at him, leading him to the counter, sitting him down, then sitting beside him. She took his other wrist, looking at the similar scars.

"What happened?"

"Isn't it obvious, Haley? I tried to kill myself because my father made me so freaking miserable."

"When?"

"You remember last year, about this time, when I was out of school for about a week?" Haley nodded, her fingers dancing over the scars. "I-I got home from practice one day and my father started yelling at me. He said that I was a miserable excuse of a person and that I wasn't fit to be his son. I was fifteen years old, and there was my father, telling me that I was worthless. So I took a bunch of pain pills and I took a butcher knife from our knife holder and I cut my wrists. I remember my father coming into my room and yelling at me for it, calling me a no-good-son-of-a-bch and stupid, and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital in the psych ward. I stayed there for a day, and when they moved me to the regular ward, I took a piece of glass from the mirror I broke in the bathroom and I sliced down my arm. I was almost dead before the orderlies and the nurses managed to get to me," Nathan explained, looking hard at his scars. "It hurt a lot, but not as much as those words hurt me, Hales."

They both heard a gasp, and Nathan jerked his head up, glaring at Lucas and Brooke. "What was this? Some kind of plan? Are you gonna shout it out to these bastards that call themselves my friends?" He yelled, pushing away from the small group.

"No. Nath-"

"Leave me alone! Just leave me alone!" They all jumped as the door cracked with the slam of it closing.

"He tried to kill himself?" Brooke asked aloud.

"I never knew he was so screwed up," Haley whispered, watching the door, hoping he would return.

He didn't.

But Lucas went after him.

Nathan opened the door to his house, raising an eyebrow at the utter quietness. His house was never quiet; a tv should be going, a fight in progress. But no, he heard nothing. And that scared him. Quiet was bad, always bad. Something to stew over had already been stewed, which usually sucked for him.

He deposited his keys into the pocket of his jeans, looking into the study and the kitchen, both empty of people. "Mom? Dad!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the walls of the house. He stumbled over something in the hall, and a string of curse words hit his throat as he hit the floor. He reached a hand up, fumbling with the lamp light as he realized that a sticky substance covered his hands. He looked at them, gasping as red pervaded his hands.

Blood.

"What the hell!" he yelled, jerking his head back to see what he tripped over. He gasped and his eyes widened in disbelief. "M…Mom?" he whimpered, reaching back to touch her face-so warm to the touch- and gently close her blue eyes. "M..mom…you…mom…no…can't….no, mom-" He quickly picked himself up, tears streaming down his face as he dared venture further into this massacre.

"Dad?" he said, looking around. "DAD!"

And then he saw his father.

A perfect bullet hole in his skull.

And the gun resting in his lap.

"Oh, God-Oh no…no God…no…this can't happen," he exclaimed, looking around, his breath quickened. "No…no…no, no, no!"

And he ran.

He had to get out of there. He couldn't stay. He had blood all over him-his mother's blood, his father's, …on his hands and his knees and his pants…splattered on his neck and his face…

He got to his car, shoving himself in, ruining the interior with the blood. He tried to slam the key in the ignition, but he couldn't with his body convulsing in tears as pain flooded in. He finally heard the engine roar into life and he gunned it, nearly taking off the mailbox as he sped off.

"Lucas!" Karen yelled, pushing past the yellow tape with Keith trailing after her. She hugged her son tight. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I was following Nathan and I saw this-" he whispered, his eyes looking up in fear at the house. "Mom, they're dead-Deb and Dan…they're dead."

"Sssh, baby, sssh," Karen said, her head snapping around. "Where's Nathan?"

"I don't know…he was here though-he tripped in her blood-"

"Karen, he must have seen them," Keith observed. "Oh, God…his car's not here-"

"You don't think he-"

"He saw his parents in there-dead. I think he did," Keith returned, looking around, catching a police officer. "My nephew-Nathan-he lives here-"

"Sorry, sir, he wasn't here when we got here. We can put out an APB and an Amber Alert for him."

"I don't think he was kidnapped," Keith replied. "His car's gone. It's a 2006 Cadillac Escalade. He was in here-with his parents. My other nephew said that he left a party early-"

"I'll have all the cops looking out, and alert the hospitals. If you give me a number I can reach you at, I'll call you if we get more information."

"Thank you-"

"No problem, sir…"

"Do you know what happened?"

"Uh?"

"With-" Keith nodded to the house.

"Apparently, he shot her, them himself."

Keith nodded, turning back to Karen and Lucas. "This is bad," he whispered, looking again at the house. He wondered how long he'd have to wait to find his other nephew, to make him safe.

It was four hours, six minutes, and 20 seconds.

The cell phone rang and was instantly answered, the phone pressed against his ear. "Mr Scott? This is Aimee Johnson, at Tree Hill Memorial. Nathan was involved in a car crash earlier this evening…"

"Oh, God. Is he okay?"

"He's in surgery right now, sir. He should be out pretty soon if you want to be here-"

"Thanks. I will." Keith hung up the phone, staring at the sleeping Karen. He kissed her cheek. "Baby, I've got to go. Nathan was in a car accident, and I need to be there with him." He kissed her one last time before getting out of the bed, grabbing his jacket and writing a quick note to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Do i own the show? Absolutely not. I do not own anything. I'm a poor little girl trying to have an outlet for creativity...plus, if i owned OTH, Nathan would never get hurt.**

**Reviews: THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS; SORRY, NEXT TIME I'LL TRY TO GIVE OUT PERSONAL REPLIES**

Chapter Two: Hold On

Keith's mind mentally kept track of the steady beating of Nathan's heart machine, listening keenly for any change. His eyes watched the dripping IV, full of morphine, another IV bag of AB+ blood, feeding into Nathan to replinish his body. His nephew…his poor nephew. His left arm was in a sling, his shoulder deeply bruised, 25 of his forearm in 2nd degree burns, his hand bandaged because of lacerations on it. He had suffered a severe concussion, and he was bruised where he had strained against the seatbelt.

"Mr. Scott?" a soft voice whispered, a light tapping on the door as a whisp of a blonde came into the room. "Hi, I'm Jeanine Holley, from Child Services."

"Oh, hi," Keith greeted her absentmindedly, his eyes still on his nephew.

"Um, can I talk to you privately?"

"I don't want to leave him," Keith returned swiftly. "I've missed sixteen years of his life-he needs me now more than ever."

"Of course. I just wanted to discuss if you would be taking over Nathan's guardianship."

"I will."

"Okay. I need to set up some appointments with you for later, okay? And I'll explain to you more about what will be needed, um, to be his guardian, and we'll need to discuss his parents' wills, what they wish to have done with the house-"

"Okay. Just…later," Keith remarked, his eyes on his nephew. "I have to leave in about an hour anyway, so I'll come by and talk to you then?"

"Of course. I'm on the 5th floor, room 213." Keith nodded, giving her a smile before turning his attention to the nurse that had just walked in.

"How is he doing?"

"He hasn't woken up yet," Keith admitted ruefully, sitting back in his chair, watching as the nurse adjusted the blue sling and checked both the IV and the blood transfusion. "When is he going to?"

"Um, it's hard to tell. It could be tonight or later tomorrow. If you want to go get some coffee?" the nurse suggested, picking up the clipboard at the end of the bed. Keith nodded, standing up, leaning down to place a brief kiss on Nathan's forehead.

"We're all here for you Nate. Wake up soon," Keith whispered, standing up to leave the room. Lucas was downstairs with his mother, filling out papers for both the police and the doctor. "Luke!"

"Hey Keith," Luke greeted, turning to smile at his uncle. "How's Nathan?"

"Still asleep. How are you?"

"Fine…worried, but other than that, I'm perfectly alright," Lucas answered as his mom came up, giving Keith a kiss on the cheek.

"What's the latest report on him?"

"Um, a severe concussion, some deep bruising on his shoulder, his arm got burned, his hands got cut up, he has some bad lacerations on his face and neck, and his chest and torso are badly bruised because of the seatbelt. Right now, he's sleeping, so that's always good. He's having a blood transfusion now. They said he might have bruised his kidneys, but the X-reys and scans were nonexclusive in that respect."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah. Listen, come by and visit him sometime. I'm sure he'd like to see his family."

"We will, Keith. We'll be by tomorrow…" Karen promised, leading her own son out the door.

Keith returned to Nathan's room after meeting witht the child services' lady, hearing his nephew whimper inside the room as a nurse removed his sling and the bandages on his arm and meticulously cleaned out the burns. "It's okay," he heard the nurse soothe. He opened the door, going inside, receiving a smile from the nurse in greeting. "If you want to hold his other hand while I clean these out, it'd be most appreciated." Keith nodded, grabbing Nathan's hand gently, standing by his bed. Nathan flinched as the nurse finished the process, going to throw away the old bandage and grabbing a new one.

"Nate, you did good," Keith whispered, giving the unconscious teen an enthusiastic and encouraging smile. "Now, I know you want to wake up."

His eyes remained closed.

"Okay, Nate, fine-" the nurse came back in with a tray. She smiled at Keith as she started work. Keith felt Nathan grip his hand tightly as the woman rubbed the medicine on the burn before wrapping his arm back in a white bandage and setting it oh-so-carefully into the sling. "I'll be back in thirty minutes to replace his IV." Keith nodded, watching the nurse leave. He turned back to Nathan, his eyes wide in surprise.

Because blue eyes stared back at him.

"Nathan?"

The boy's eyes clouded in pain as he managed to gasp out "Keith…I hurt."

Keith's face instantly softened, letting Nathan squeeze his hand as pain washed over. "It's okay, Nathan. Do you want some water?" Keith barely saw Nathan's head move in a nod, but as it did, Keith poured the cup of ice water, putting a straw in it and putting it up to his lips. "Slow sips, okay?"

The water was a cool relief in Nathan's dried thorat, but after a few sips he couldn't drink anymore. He finally noticed his arm in a sling, and he looked fearfully at Keith. "It's okay, Nathan; it's only for two weeks, because of the bad bruising on your shoulder and in your muscle, okay? You are gonna be just fine."

"That's-that's good," Nathan breathed out, laying back.

"Nathan, I need to ask you something, okay?" Keith said, looking at his youngest nephew. Nathan nodded, letting Keith raise the first part of his bed. "Um…I need to ask if you want to stay with me and Karen and Lucas, or do you want to stay with your Grandmother and Grandfather?"

"What?"

"Because of your-because of their deaths, you have to choose."

"I'd…I'd like to stay here."

"You sure?"

"Yes," Nathan whimpered as his arm spasmed, sending shocking pain up and down his body. "I just-I hope I don't cause any problems."

"You won't, Nate, I promise. Do you want to talk about what-?"

"No…not really," Nathan answered quickly, darting his eyes everywhere but Keith's eyes.

"Okay, Nate. But if you ever, and I mean ever, need to talk, I'm here for that reason, okay? Don't hold it in, don't let it consume you," Keith replied, sitting by his bed as he watched his nephew's machine start to beep frantically. "Nathan, calm down…"

He heard the door slam open, nurses soon surrounding the teenager, lifting an oxygen mask back on his mouth. "Nathan, I need you to take deep breaths for me. There you go…that's good; you're doing great. I'm gonna give you a shot to help you relax, okay?"

"Idunwannasleep," Nathan slurred as the drugs started to take it's toll on his body. "Pleauncake-" His eyes fluttered closed, but he felt Keith's presence at his side.

"There you go, buddy; it's okay," Keith whispered to his nephew, reaching out to sooth the creases on his forehead. "You're doing so good, Nathan."

"He'll be out for a little while, Mr. Scott. The doctor will be in soon to just check him over, make sure he hasn't pulled any of his stitches and all that."

"Okay. I'm gonna go get some coffee before the doctor comes in…"

"We'll take great care of your nephew, Mr. Scott. He's in good hands."

Keith nodded, leaving the room in search of coffee. When he returned, the doctor was inside, looking at the laceration on Nathan's forehead. "Hi."  
"Mr. Scott?" Keith nodded. "I'm Doctor Michelin, Nathan's surgeon and his doctor while he's here. Now, you're Nathan's uncle, right?"

"Yes, sir. His guardian now."

"Well, he was having a little trouble, correct?"

"Yeah. Um, I tried to talk to him about his mother's murder and his father's suicide. He didn't take it well."

"I can imagine."

"How is he?"

"Um, a little infection that we'll give him antibiotics for in his hand, but other than that, he's recovering relatively fast. We'll still need to watch him, but it's safe to say he's out of the woods."

"Good."

"We'll keep him on a liquid diet through the night, but when we move him down we'll put him back on regular food; he should be discharged in a couple of days-a week, probably. He'll have to rest when he gets home, um, I really want to make sure he's taken care of there. It's awful what happened to his parents, but you can't neglect his care-"

"I wasn't planning on it. Not now, not ever."

Haley knocked softly on the door to Nathan's room, her hands gripping the teddy-bear firmly. She smiled at the boy asleep in the bed, still so seemingly strong, ever handsome. Still her Nathan, just…sick. Hurt. Something that she could help.

"Hey, Haley," Keith greeted her, watching as she set the teddy bear on the night-table. It was black, and had a basketball in its hands that said 'Get Well Soon'.

"How is he?"

"He's been in and out for a while; he just went to sleep a couple minutes ago. I didn't know you knew him well."

"I tutored him," Haley answered instantly, her mind going back to their first tutoring session, she yelling at him because he was fifteen minutes late and she was tired of waiting. "We're friends."

"That's good. He's gonna need people like you to help him," Keith remarked. "I'll leave you two alone; go get myself some coffee. Just if he wakes up, call the nurse up."

"Sure. Thanks, Keith-"

"No problem, kiddo."

Haley looked at Nathan's hand, resting by his side, so peaceful, the antithesis of his hectic and chaotic life. She wondered when he'd wake up and talk to her, let her explain about that night at the party-about Lucas and Brooke and how they would never tell his secret. She glanced at the clock; it was almost one, which meant visiting hours were almost up.  
Having return to his bedside vigil in the corner of the room, Keith glanced at his youngest nephew and the girl, trying to concentrate on the forms in front of him. Keith hated when one o'clock came around, because if Nathan woke up after, he'd be alone. He turned back to the papers, trying to finish them. Nathan's birthday? December 17th. His middle name? Alexander. His age? Sixteen. His height? 6 foot two. Weight? Uh-according to the chart, 192. Parental status? _Deceased_.

"Hey," the scratchy, hoarse voice murmured, blue eyes opening, hearing the steady beep of the heart machine. He was still alive-still functioning. He felt his hand being lifted, lips touching the top, where his IV was tapped in. Haley's lips. "Haley."

"Hey, superstar," she returned, setting his hand down. "How are you feeling?"

"Like-like I got hit by a truck," he answered, seeing his Uncle Keith in the corner. "Hey, Keith."

"Hey, buddy. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. My headache's gone. Whatever they're giving me is good stuff," Nathan whispered, looking at the bear on the table, and then Haley. "Yours?"

"I got it for you."

"Well, thank you."

"Um-I just want to talk to you about Friday, Nate. I didn't know they were standing there-I wouldn't embarrass you like that, and I would never tell anyone that. It's not their business," Haley promised, watching his face for any anger.

"Haley, I'm not mad anymore," he said, closing his eyes. "Promise."

She leaned down, kissing his forehead. ''Superstar, I know you want to go back to sleep, but stay awake, kay?"

"I'm so tired," Nathan murmured, blinking, fighting to stay awake. Keith had gone to get a nurse, and Haley knew that he had to stay awake.

"Nathan, I know you're tired, but you have to stay awake for a little while, okay? How does your arm feel?"

"It hurts so badly. I can't move it without it hurting," he whispered. "When's their funeral?"

"Monday, Nate. The doctors aren't going to release you to go to it," Haley answered sadly. "I've gotten your homework and class work stuff, so when you're feeling better, we'll look over it."

"Fun," he said, yawning. "Please, Haley, I'm sleepy."

"And as soon as I look you over, you can go back to sleep," the nurse grinned, grabbing his chart. ''We have to clean out your burns. Uh, Miss-"

"James."

"Miss James, I have to ask you to leave," the nurse said kindly as another nurse brought in the equipment to clean out his arm. "I'll let you stay an hour after I'm done, if Nathan is up to it." She turned to Keith, who had come up to his nephew's bed. "Mr. Scott, if you'll help get Nathan's gown off up to his chest, and his sling, while I go get him some morphine."

Keith undid Nathan's gown, slipping off his sling, hearing him hiss in pain. "It's okay, buddy. It's okay," he soothed, giving the teen a smile. "I know it hurts, son; just breathe slowly. All I have to do is get this gown off you." Nathan nodded, feeling the gown whisper against his enflamed skin. The nurse came back in, undoing the IV, inserting the morphine.

"Just settle back and relax, Nathan. We'll get this done as soon as possible," The nurse promised. Nathan laid back, closing his eyes. Twenty minutes afterwards, the nurse finally finished. "Nathan, open your eyes for me," she instructed, putting the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. "C'mon, Nathan."

His eyes fluttered opened, pain clouding over his baby blues. "You still with us?" his uncle asked as the nurse put his gown back on. Nathan nodded, breathing slowly into the mask. "You did great, Nathan."

"Do you want to see Haley now?" the nurse asked, helping Nathan put the sling back on. She pulled his blanket up as he nodded his head, leaning back against the pillow. "Okay. I'll go get her."

"Thank you," Nathan whispered from behind the mask.

"You're quite welcome, honey. You're such a good patient; most whine and complain all day," the nurse laughed, patting his good shoulder. "Now, try to sleep some, okay?"

Keith and the doctor watched Nathan and Haley from the small window in the door of Nathan's room. The boy was tired; the morphine was slowly lulling him to sleep. Haley had hold of his hand, gently caressing his knuckles, telling him some story that he was obviously trying to remain conscious for. "I heard he had a hard time when the nurse was cleaning out his burn."

"Yeah, he did," Keith answered.

"I have some bad news," the doctor whispered, making Keith turn to look at him. "I found some more possible bleeding internally from Nathan's scans."

"Um…okay. So what do we do?"

"I have him scheduled for emergency surgery tonight, and we'll fix everything."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll make sure you can stay with him after he gets out."

"Thanks."

Karen knocked softly on Nathan's door, opening it just as gently. Nathan was asleep, curled on one side, shivering slightly beneath the blanket. He had had his surgery the night before, and Keith had been with him at the hospital all night. He was sitting in a chair by the bed, watching the heart monitor. He looked up when she came in, smiling. "How is he doing?" she asked, taking Keith's hand.

"Good. He's been up three times, but only for a couple of minutes. Thankfully, they fixed everything. He's cold, so the nurse is getting another blanket for him. Where's Luke?"

"Getting you some coffee and Nathan the latest issue of SI," Karen answered. "Sorry we haven't been up here. We've been getting Nathan's room ready."

"He's been in and out so much. Haley came by earlier to drop off some homework," Keith replied as he watched Nathan move, open his eyes. "Hey, buddy," he whispered as dazed, blue eyes stared up at him. "Do you want some water?" Nathan shook his head, no, turning his eyes to look at Karen. She gave him a gentle, motherly smile, leaning down to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Mom, I got-" Lucas quieted down as he entered the somber room. He looked at his brother and his eyes widened in surprise. Nathan looked frail, so breakable, so sick. He had never seen Nathan like that. "Hey, Nate. I got you SI, and some other magazines. How are you feeling? I'm sorry I didn't get to stop by, but your furniture is heavy and Mom and I were the only ones moving it."

"So-rry," Nathan mumbled tiredly as the nurse came in, arms laden with another blanket.

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you?" the nurse soothed, spreading the blanket over him.

"Sle-sleepy."

"Well, stay up for a little while, okay?" She turned to Keith. "Keep him up for thirty minutes. Make him drink something."

"Will a doctor be in again?"

"Yes, sir; Nathan's the last round of the day before he leaves. And he should have the scans and X-reys with him to tell you more about how Nathan is doing."

Keith nodded, his eyes still on Nathan, who was listening half-heartedly to Lucas talk about the latest article in SI talking about basketball hopefuls for March Madness and Duke and UNC's chances. Nathan was having a hard time not nodding off, and his eyes were laden with sleep.

Keith was glad to see that it was Dr. Allan Michelin who came into the room. Michelin had been Nathan's doctor since he had entered the ER the night of the crash. Michelin had explained each thing he was doing to Nathan to Keith, and then he had gone and explained them again to Nathan.

"How's my favorite patient today?" Michelin asked Nathan, who looked up at him with the best glare he could muster. "Guess that answers that question. Well, I have good news." Keith looked up, staring at the X-reys the doctor had just removed from the manila envelope now resting on the bedside table. "As you can tell, we had some major work to do. We sewed up a small hole that had been formed on his liver, and I also resewed the place on his heart and the one on his stomach. I removed pieces of the rib that had lodged into his body. All in all, it went really well."

"That's good?" Nathan whispered tiredly.

"That's great. After a couple more days, I can give you a clean bill of health and you can go home."

"Home? Home to what? Some place I don't know?" Nathan snapped, his emotions boiling over. He looked away from everyone, out the window, a tear falling from his eyes. Karen took his hand, giving him a comforting smile.

"It's okay," she whispered, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "It's okay, Nathan."

"Well, I'm gonna let you rest. I know it's been a tough couple of days, and I think sleep will make it a little bit better." Nathan nodded his head slightly, closing his eyes. He just wanted this all to be over.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own not...so don't sue**

**THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS!**

-Chapter Three: My New Life

Nathan felt cold.

His body shivered beneath the blankets, but he couldn't make it stop. His insides felt like they were playing soccer, his stomach being the ball kicked around. He had thrown up four times in the past thirty minutes. The doctor had ordered a battery of tests to determine the cause, and for right now, he had ordered all his medication to be cut off, including the pain medication.

"It's okay, Nate; stay calm," Keith whispered, wishing there was something he could do for his nephew besides comforting words that weren't comforting. "The doctor promised he'd be back as soon as possible."

"H…hurt," Nathan whispered, closing his eyes. "Pl…please, Keith…"

"I know, buddy, I know." He winced when Nathan cried out in pain, writhing slightly in order to shake the feeling. He was so close to telling the doctor to give his nephew something-anything-to stop his pain.

"Keith-" the whimper was sharp, a whine so full of pain…

"Sssh, Nathan, try to go back to sleep…you'll be okay, son. The doctor will be here soon," Keith promised, pushing some of the boy's hair off of his forehead.

There was a soft knock on the door and the doctor entered, giving both uncle and nephew a weak smile. "So, I come bearing good news and bad news. Which one first?" He asked, writing something on Nathan's chart.

"Bad news."

"He has contracted um a stomach virus, and his stomach's not looking so hot…"

"But?"

"But, I can put him back on his pain medication and the virus can be treated with some medicine."

"Thank God," Nathan groaned, blinking.

The doctor laughed a little. "I'll get the nurse rehook your IV and we'll start your food and liquids…" Nathan nodded groggily, closing his eyes, opening them again.  
Keith watched as his nephew slowly slid into a deep sleep courtesy of the medication. Hopefully, this would be the last complication. Nathan needed to be at home, with family that cared about him and friends that would help him begin to heal. All Keith wanted was for Nathan to get better, because he had been suffering one horrid thing right after another since his parents died.

"Keith?" Karen whispered, opening the door, a coffee in hand. "They figure out what's wrong?"

"Yeah. He has a stomach virus. He should be okay in a couple of days. I just…I can't wait for him to finally come home."

"I'm sure he can't wait for it, either."

"Do you think he'll be happy?"

"I think he'll be happier than he has been lately. Keith, I don't think you realize how much he is going to learn from you."

"I…I don't want to disappoint him, Karen. He's had so many disappointments in his life…I don't want to add to them," Keith replied, looking up at this fiancée. "Thank you for sticking by me…and him."

"Keith, you aren't getting rid of me. Never ever."

"I'm glad."

They broke from their kiss as Nathan moved in the bed, his breath catching in his throat as he fought an invisible opponent in his nightmare. Karen got off of Keith, going to Nathan's bed, taking the boy's good hand. "It's okay, Nate. It's okay. Keith and I are right here, waiting for you. Get well soon, baby." She leaned down to kiss his forehead, rubbing away the lines on his forehead.

"You're good with him," Keith whispered, coming to stand beside her.

"Why, thank you. I've had seventeen years of experience with another Scott boy to get their angst. Besides, Nathan is so sweet underneath all his traumatized layers. He just needs some one to bring that out in him," Karen replied, watching the boy as he fought his nightmare, finally seeming peaceful. "And, I think, with us, and Lucas, and Haley, he's gonna find that sweetness."

"I hope so. He's a good kid," Keith said, smiling at his nephew, soon to be his son.

"Is he coming home tonight?" Lucas asked hopefully on his cell phone, looking around the room he worked so hard on for Nathan. Nathan's many trophies lined the top of the room on the shelf built at the top of the nine-foot ceiling, his bed was in the corner, above it hanging a couple of posters. In the corner near the window was a desk with Nathan's computer on it, pictures of his mother and father and his friends on the top, some of his plaques and certificates hanging above it. In the corner beside that, a TV stand sat caddy-cornered, the two leather chairs from his house sitting there. He hoped there was some since of Nathan's home in there, as well as a new feeling. He had added some pictures of Nathan's new family to the old pictures, praying Nathan would be comfortable with that. "I hope he comes home tonight."

"If the tests come out okay, he'll be home tonight, Luke," Karen said; Lucas could see the smile on her face. "I believe Haley's bringing over some lasagna from the café tonight. Make sure you invite her to stay."

"I will, Mom. How is he?"

"A little worse for wear. They took him off his pain killers to flush them out of his system, and his body is sore and it hurts a lot. They gave us a prescription drug that Keith's going to get it at the pharmacy, along with his antibiotics and stuff."

"Okay. Just call me if he's coming home."

"I will, baby. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom." Karen closed her cell phone as she looked at Nathan, biting his bottom lip as he tried to wiggle his fingers on the hand in the sling. She stood up, setting a gentle hand over his, making him look up.

"I know you want to get back to normal, Nate, but you have to let your body heal first. That includes not pulling stitches in your hand because you tried too fast to do something you shouldn't be doing," Karen chastised softly, giving him a smile. "You'll be just fine. You heard the doctor. Give your body a month to heal, you'll be out on that court in no time."

"Sorry," Nathan whispered.

She grinned, laughing a little. "How's your shoulder?" It remained in a sling, lying against his soft t-shirt.

"It's been better," Nathan replied, looking at it, instantly regretting it as pain shot up his neck. He gasped, closing his eyes as the pain slowly subsided.

"It's okay," he heard Karen, feeling her hand rub his sore back slowly. "So, has Haley got you caught up at school?"

"Yeah. I took my math midterm yesterday and I got…um.." he took a deep breath, his body already aching and drained. "I got an 86 on it."

"I'm so proud of you," Karen exclaimed, her smiled lighting from ear to ear. "Any others?"

Nathan nodded, obviously surprised at her reaction. "Um…a 92 in history and a 84 in English. Whitey told me not to worry about gym, and I got a 79 on my French one."

"What other class do you have?"

"I have psychology…Dr. Andrews told me not to worry about it, either, and I got a 102 in weight lifting."

"Those are good grades, Nathan. You should be proud of yourself. Now, are you excited to be going home?"

"I guess. No offense, Karen, but…"

"It's not the same home you've grown up in. I know the feeling."

"How?"

"My parents cut me off when I told them I was going to keep Lucas and not abort the baby or give it up for adoption. I used to live in a house near yours, near Dan's…"

"Really? Was it hard?"

"Very. But, just like you, I had people to help me," Karen replied, her eyes catching his. "You know you have people here, right? Me and Keith and Lucas and Haley and Tim…"

"Yeah, right. My old friends will dump me because I can't throw the kick-$$ keg parties anymore after the game…I know them. They like me cause I'm rich, not because I'm a good person to hang out with."

"I don't think Tim is that kind of person, Nathan," Karen answered truthfully, squeezing his good hand comfortingly as the doctor knocked on the door. "So, good news?"

"Good news," Doctor Michelin confirmed, watching Nathan grin. "His X-reys look great. His ribs are healing nicely, as is his liver and his lung. His shoulder is healing a little slower than I anticipated, which means he'll probably have to keep his arm in the sling a week longer. The burns are healing on time, so they'll still hurt for awhile, but as long as you clean them out as we instructed, they should be fine."

"So I can leave?" Nathan asked.

"I'll sign the discharge papers now, if you want. Just wait till the nurse takes out the IV and gives you appointments to get your stitches removed." Nathan nodded, watching the doctor scribble his signature.

Nathan loved Keith's blue Bronco. He would never admit it, but he loved it so much. He winced as he walked toward it, his leg muscles sore from staying in bed. He leaned heavily on Keith, who didn't seem to mind bearing the brunt of his weight. "You still with me, buddy?" Keith asked. The nurse had given him a mild sedative to make sure he got to the car with little pain, and from it into the house with the same pain resistance.

"I'm here," Nathan answered, smiling happily. "You have gray hair, Uncle Keith."

"I don't think he's all here," Karen whispered to Keith, laughing a little. "But he's right, you do have gray hair."

"Oh, you think that's funny?"

"Hilarious," she replied, opening the passanger side door for Keith as he helped Nathan in.

Keith buckled Nathan in, watching the kid close his eyes, then open them again. "Nate, try to stay awake for the short ride home. Please try to stay awake."

"Keith, I'm sleepy."

"I know, buddy, and you can sleep once we get home, okay? We've got a room all set up for you with a warm, inviting bed," Karen promised. Nathan nodded a little, a hazy fog clouding his blue eyes.

They were right; it was only a ten minute drive to their house, tucked in a cul-de-sac in a nice neighborhood. "Home sweet home, Nathan," Keith told him, turning off the car as the door to the garage opened. "Lucas, come help me with him; Karen, will you get his bags?"

Nathan closed his eyes then, and Keith relented, letting him fall asleep. Lucas gingerly got Nathan out of the car, jerking him awake accidentally. "Sorry, Nate," he murmured, watching his brother nod. Somehow he managed to get him inside the house, which was still new to him. Karen and Keith had purchased the house when they got engaged, only three months ago, so Lucas was still fairly uncomfortable in it.

"Where are we going?" Nathan asked tiredly.

"We're going to your room," Lucas answered, leading Nathan into the great room, to a small hall that led to their bedrooms. He led Nathan to the one in the front, opening the door. Karen had painted it a tannish beighish color, given it a warm feel. "Nathan, do you like it?"

Nathan groaned, sighing as Lucas sat him on his bed. "You're short," he commented to Lucas as his older brother removed his shoes and socks. Lucas gave him a small smile as he helped Nathan underneath the covers, making sure to rest his hurt arm on his chest.

"You rest, baby brother, and get better," he whispered in Nathan's ear as the younger boy sighed sleepily.

Lucas had the door opened to leave the room when Nathan whispered "Thank you."

_He deposited his keys into the pocket of his jeans, looking into the study and the kitchen, both empty of people. "Mom? Dad!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the walls of the house. He stumbled over something in the hall, and a string of curse words hit his throat as he hit the floor. He reached a hand up, fumbling with the lamp light as he realized that a sticky substance covered his hands. He looked at them, gasping as red pervaded his hands.  
_

_Blood.  
_

_"What the hell!" he yelled, jerking his head back to see what he tripped over. He gasped and his eyes widened in disbelief. "M…Mom?" he whimpered, reaching back to touch her face-so warm to the touch- and gently close her blue eyes. "M..mom…you…mom…no…can't….no, mom-" He quickly picked himself up, tears streaming down his face as he dared venture further into this massacre.  
_

_"Dad?" he said, looking around. "DAD!"  
_

_And then he saw his father.  
_

_A perfect bullet hole in his skull.  
_

_And the gun resting in his lap.  
_

_"Oh, God-Oh no…no God…no…this can't happen," he exclaimed, looking around, his breath quickened. "No…no…no, no, no!"_

Nathan bolted up in bed, feeling his back muscles tighten and pain take over his body. His body seized in pain, and he fought to hold back a yell. "Nathan, Nathan, it's okay," he heard Keith's voice as his door opened. "Karen, I need one of the muscle relaxers! They have a red bottle!" Keith kneeled beside Nathan's bed, gently rubbing his back. "It's okay, buddy. I'm right here."

"I-I don't want…want medicine," Nathan whimpered.

"Nathan, you need this medicine. It'll help your body relax, which is something you need right now," Keith tried to argue. "Do you want to move to the great room?"

"Can I?"

"Sure, buddy, as long as you take your medicine when you get there."

"Okay."

Keith helped Nathan sit up, letting him take his time in an attempt to give him more independence. Nathan struggled on weak legs to make it the couple feet to the living room couch, surprised to see Lucas and Karen in there. "Look who came out to join us," Keith said, making Karen look up.

"Hey, Nathan," Lucas said as Nathan sat on the couch. Karen covered him with a blanket while Keith brought back four different pills and a glass of water. Nathan looked at the pills distastefully before downing them.

"Nathan, you promised me you would rest," Keith reminded the teenager, who nodded, closing his eyes. "How does your back feel?"

"Good…" Nathan answered, a little spacey as the medicine began rolling through his system. "I'm hungry…"

"When you wake up again, Nate, you can have some food," Karen promised, kissing his forehead. Soon, he was curled into the couch, blanket pushed and bundled around him, finally sleeping seemingly well.

"So now his sleep-the one place he should be safe in- is being haunted by his father!" Keith exclaimed, looking at his nephew, compassion in his eyes. "I'm glad the doctor included a sleeping pill in the prescriptions."

Lucas looked at his younger brother, concern floating in his blue eyes. "How long will he be like this?"

"A couple of hours-probably less. Thank you, Lucas, for being so understanding with him. I know it's not easy for you to be around him-"

"But, Keith, it is. It's so easy to get along with him…when he's not being an $$…which he hasn't been in awhile. He just…I think he needs someone to be there for him. And I'm offering to be that person, because I see good in him. He's my brother; I can't trade him in for another one, so I might as well like what I have."

"Nathan? Nathan, sweetheart, wake up," Karen whispered softly to the boy, running a hand through his hair. "You're okay, baby. I just need you to wake up so you can eat something." Karen watched as his eyelids fluttered and he tried to fight the effects of his medicine-a fight he wasn't winning. "I have homemade soup waiting for you, Nathan," she coaxed, a smile spreading across her face when he opened his eyes. "Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?"

"Okay," Nathan whispered, using his good hand to push himself up.

"Any nightmares?"

"Good sleep," Nathan mumbled, closing his eyes and opening them again. "My shoulder hurts."

"Badly?"

"No. Whatever Keith gave me definitely dulled it," Nathan's responses were getting clearer as the medicine wore off more. "Homemade soup, you said?"

"Yeah. I made chicken noodle; I hope you like that."

"I do. Chicken noodle's great."

"I'll go get you a bowl. Do you want some Coke with that, or maybe just water?"

"Just water will probably be best, don't you think?"

"Probably, kiddo. I'll be back in a second…don't go anywhere."

"Haha, you're so funny," Nathan said, smirking. He looked around the great room, at the pictures hanging up on the wall of Karen, Keith, and Lucas. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable; this wasn't his home, this was their home…he was invading it.

"You know, you're part of our family now," he heard a soft voice state, and he turned his head to see Lucas. "You aren't some added addition that we really don't like or that we regret. You're our family now, and we stick together. And now, there aren't photos of you yet; just wait till you're better. Then you won't want the photos up there, but Mom and Keith won't give a damn what you want and what you don't want and they'll put them up there anyway and embarrass you with embarrassing stories at the most inappropriate of times."

"Watch your mouth, Lucas Scott," Karen chastised as she came back into the room with the bottle of water and a steaming bowl of soup. "There you go, Nathan. Tell me what you think."

Nathan nodded, staring at the soup before dipping his spoon in, taking some out, eating it rather quickly. Little did he know that Karen knew chicken noodle soup was his favorite, and that's why she had made it. "Karen, it's great," he whispered, eating some more.

"Good. You eat that, okay, and I'll be in the kitchen," Karen told him, retreating back, leaving the two brothers in comfortable silence.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: And The Mighty Will Fall**

"Did I mention how much I hate this?" Nathan asked Lucas as they walked toward the school together. Nathan's arm was still in a sling, but only for the week. He was still pretty banged up, and Keith was weary about letting him go to school while still on pain medication, but after Lucas had promised to look after him, here Nathan was.

"It's not gonna be that bad-"

"Or so you say. You won't have people gawking at you, giving you heart-felt sorries that they don't mean, people abandoning you-"

"At least you don't have make up work."

"Which I can so thank Haley for, considering she's the one who got my homework, walked me through the steps. She might as well just do it for me," Nathan answered, looking up at the school sign. "Do I really have to go in?"

"Yes. Nathan, it's for seven hours…seven."

"Yeah, but it's seven hours in hell," Nathan replied, taking a deep breath. He could hear them gossiping, wondering why _he_ was showing up at school with _Lucas_, the social outcast, the town bastard child. Then there was the chit-chat about his parent's death-his mother's murder, his father's suicide. He turned away from the people, trying to concentrate on what Lucas was saying. "Sorry, Luke…what did you say?"

"I was just saying that I'll beat them up for you." Nathan smirked, shaking his head slightly. "Why are you worried, Nathan. You have tons of friends-"

"And only one of them came to visit me in the hospital," Nathan stated matter-of-factly, looking at his usual table in the cafeteria. All his so called friends were eyeing hi back, looking at one another and talking behind hands in hushed voices. He looked at Luke again, his eyes begging his brother to not leave him standing there, awkwardly, alone.

"You can sit with me, and Haley, if you want," Lucas offered, looking at Nathan's table. "That's just plain me."

"I'd rather them talk about me in front than behind my back-though I know both is going to be going on today," Nathan answered, looking down at his arm.

"How is it?" Lucas asked, leading Nathan to his own table, hearing most of his friends-hell, most of the cafeteria-grow silent.

"I still can't move my fingers, but Doctor Michelin said that I have to wait for the stitches to come out before we can work on the movement. Plus, it makes my wrist hurt when I try to move it because of the burns on my forearm," Nathan replied, muttering under his breath when someone accidentally hit his arm.

"How's your back?"

"I'm on pain meds, Luke. How do you think it feels?"

"Well, Keith gave the nurse some of them, so at least once it wears off you can go get some more," Lucas said brightly. "Hey, will get you through this."

"Hey, guys," Haley said, standing up to greet the two brothers. She studied Nathan, giving him a smile. "You look good."

"I don't feel good," Nathan admitted, looking at Lucas' table. "Hi."

"Nate, that's Skillz, Fergie, Mouth, Junk-"Lucas introduced each student as they nodded and Nathan looked on sheepishly. "Guys, this is Nate."

"Lucas, I think we know who he is," Mouth stated, eyeing Nathan.

"He's…he's gonna sit with us," Lucas said. Haley scooted over, offering Nathan a place to sit beside her. His face fell in pain as the muscles in his back were forced to contract and loosen. He bowed his head, trying not to show his pain, biting his bottom lip in order to control the pain. "Nate, take a couple of breaths, calm down."

"Morphine would be so freaking good now," Nathan whispered under his breath, finally looking up, tears clouding his eyes.

"Sorry, Nate, you can't have any. Just take some time-"

"Today's gonna suck a-- if I'm like this all day."

"Nate, I hate to tell you this, but you're gonna be like this for awhile."

Nathan nodded his head, resting one arm on the table. He looked up as he felt a hand on his wrist, giving Haley a smile. "You okay?" she asked kindly, running her hand over his wrist to soothe him.

"Yeah. I just-just need some resting time," Nathan answered with a grin as he felt a tapping on his good shoulder. He turned to see Tim, looking at him sadly. "Hey, Tim."

"Why didn't you come sit with us?" Tim asked, raising his eyebrows to Nathan's normal table.

"How many comments have been made over there while I've been gone?" Tim looked away, guilt in his eyes. "That's what I thought."

"Nate-"

"I need to go-I've got to talk to Whitey anyway."

"Nathan-" Tim pleaded as Nathan struggled to standing up, nearly falling if Luke hadn't kept him standing.

"Tim, go back and talk. And tell them that I don't give a damn. Not anymore," Nathan snapped, attempting to take a step forward. He pitched forward, but Lucas was there before he fell, and, surprisingly, so was Tim. "I'm okay-dammit, I'm okay-"

"Nathan, you nearly just dropped in the cafeteria. Maybe you should go home."

"No chance in hell, Luke. I'm here, I'll just suffer the consequences and hope I'm okay at the end of the day."Haley waited patiently at the tutor center for Nathan, looking through his math test that his teacher had given her a copy of-she smiled when she saw the red 90 circled at the top. She heard a couple of voices, figured maybe it was Nathan and one of his friends. She strained to hear the voices, and the more she heard them, the more she realized that it wasn't Nathan.

"I cannot believe he actually sat with them! And he worries if his popularity will stay! As if!"

"And the way he went gaga for that Haley girl. Oh my Gah! She's like a freak, for goodness sakes. Maybe she's a good lay-"

"At least she's not a whore who talks behind peoples' backs," Haley called out with a smile, hearing the door slam again. A few seconds later, Nathan slid in beside her, his face glum. "You just don't look happy," she commented, giving him a small smile.

"How could you tell?" he replied, looking at the test. "Good job."

"Actually, that's yours'."

"What?" he asked, leaning forward to grab the test. "Mine?"

"I'm proud of you," Haley said, flipping thorugh the test to show him the two problems he missed. "You had some simple mistakes…forgetting to raise a power, a little subtraction hour, but other than that, you did really well. I'm proud."

"You and me both." He grinned at her, then down at the paper again. "This brightens my day."

"Has it sucked that much?" she asked, wondering how one tiny test could make him so happy.

"Yeah. It really has. Besides my so-called 'friends' acting like assholes to me, my brain feels like it's been run over fifty-bazillion times and splattered against the skull. My body feels like it's been thrown against a wall," Nathan answered, looking at his arm.

"Only an hour left, though. Isn't Keith picking you up-?"

"Yeah. I have a doctor's appointment for my back because it's been hurting like hell, probably just bruises, but the doctor wants to make sure."

"After the car crash, they'd definitely want to make sure that bruising is it."

"I know. Keith is worried; I think he's been worried a lot since I came…"

"You know, you can say home and mean it. Your parents wouldn't be offended, Nate."

"I know. But I feel like it's not my home-that I've invaded it, and they don't like me there-they don't need me there to complicate their lives," Nathan whispered sheepishly, leaning back against his chair. "And I don't want to be that complication."

"They don't think that of you, Nathan Scott. You know that. Keith loves you to death-he was up at that hospital 24/7 while you were there-he wouldn't leave you. And Karen spent every waking moment worrying about what you'd be comfortable with at home and if you'd hate them or-"

Nathan nodded, looking around uncomfortably. "This is hard."

"It's all hard, Nate. And you've had it a little harder than everyone else, and you're probably gonna have it harder than everyone else for the next couple months, but, if you want, I'll help you. I'd be more than happy to help you," she offered, giving him a smile.

"I don't know if I can be helped," he admitted truthfully, giving her a soft smile, full of regret.

"You can, Nate."

"But am I worth that fight?"

"Most definitely."

Keith waited in the line at Tree Hill High in order to pick up Nathan. He could see his nephew coming, and he gave him a small wave, which Nathan didn't return. That was a warning sign that his nephew did not have a good day. He knew it was worse when Nathan flung his bag haphazardly in the back and climbed in slowly. "Bad Day?" He received a rebuffed glare, and smiled slightly. "I guess so. Want to tell me about it?"

"Not really," Nathan whispered back, looking away.

"Okay. So, I talked to the lawyer for your parents stuff today, and you have some decisions to make," Keith said carefully, not wanting to push his nephew. "About the house and the business and his cars and everything else."

"Okay."

"If you want to sell the house, we can put the money in a trust fund for you for college or use it to pay whatever-"

"Sell that house, please. I don't want to be anywhere near it…ever again."

"I'll tell the lawyer. If there's anything you want out of it, we can go get it." Nathan nodded his head, looking out the window. "What about the car shop?"

"If I kept it, would you run it for me? Like, you could add inot your shop or add your shop to it or whatever-"

"Sure, Nate. We can do whatever you want," Keith said, giving him a smile, which he didn't return. "What happened today, buddy? You seem worse off now than you were this morning, and you were pretty bad this morning."

"Today sucked. Badly sucked….like I-don't-ever-want-to-go-back sucked."

"Nathan, it's gonna take-"

"Time? It's gonna take more than that. I feel…I feel lost. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know if I'm ever going to not feel lost again. The blow of my parents' deaths I could handle; the wreck I could handle, but together they're just all too much," Nathan whispered truthfully. "It hurts…it all feels like I'm being stabbed inside or something-"

Keith was silent, not knowing exactly how to comfort his nephew. He watched Nathan's hand clinch, tears threatening to spill down his face, he physically about to break down. "I know you feel lost, buddy…I know you think that Karen and I are just stepping in for the sake of stepping in, but we aren't, okay? We're glad to have you with us, and if there is anything you need, you need to know that you can ask Karen and me, okay? And we'll do whatever we can to help you…whatever we can."

Nathan nodded, turning away from Keith, trying to prevent the tears running down his face. And so they drove to the hospital, neither speaking, because neither really knew what to say.

Lucas looked around the table, the uncomfortable tension clinging to everything in the room. He knew about Nathan's horrible day: his friends had made fun of him, told some of his deepest secrets, left him alone. He heard about some guy trying to take a swing at Nathan, and about the secrets about that night being whispered about.

"So…" he let out, maybe hoping to start a conversation; when no one answered, he knew it was going to take more than a one-word prompt. "So…how'd it go at the Doctor, Nathan?"

"Fine," Nathan said quietly, looking at his arm.

"Nathan-"

"I don't need all these _fucking_ questions! I don't need help! I don't need you to baby me and try to pretend that none of this has happened!" Nathan yelled, standing up, his hurt arm accidentally catching his plate, sending it to the floor with a crash. He jumped, looking around at the shocked faces, muttering something before leaving the room. The door slamming quickly shook Keith out of his surprise, and he jumped up.

"What was that?" Lucas ventured to ask.

"I…I think that was your brother finally breaking down," Karen answered, watching Keith struggle to get his jacket on. "Keith-"

"I have to go after him. He…he's sick…he could catch something…it's cold out, and he doesn't have on a coat," Keith remarked absentmindedly, looking at Karen.

"I'll have some extra blankets waiting and I'll call and tell people to call if he goes by there."

"Thank you."

"Go find him, Keith. Bring him home." Keith nodded, leaving out the door with an extra coat and a flashlight.

Lucas watched his uncle and then his mother, still processing what had happened. He bent down, picking up the pieces of the plate splattered over the floor. "I-That-that's unlike Nathan."

"I know, Luke. But he's still so unstable from what happened. Maybe breaking down will allow us to help him build himself back up."

Haley stopped her car when she saw the lone figure standing by the graves. Lucas had called her, told her what had happened between them and Nathan earlier that night. She sighed as she parked her car, wondering what she'd say to him. She knew she didn't have long when he turned to look at her, his face stony and indecisive. "Hey."

"Lucas told you?"

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"I just did something really horrible, Hales. All they're trying to do is help-and I'm trying to push them away. I'm so dumb! So dumb!" She caught his hand as he swung it, preventing him from slamming it into a headstone.

"You are not dumb, Nathan! You are far from it! You are hurt! For God's sakes, your parents died two weeks ago…you're traumatized!" Haley argued, looking at his hand, shaking. "Nate, you did not do this. Blame your father, blame your mother, but stop blaming yourself. You got hurt over this-you almost died over this! And you shouldn't have!"

"I hate this! I hate them! Why did he have to kill her? Why did they leave me alone?" Nathan yelled, tears trailing down his face. "Why did they leave me? Why didn't they love me?"

"Aww, Nate. They did love you-they loved you enough to let you go, to let better people take care of you," she whispered, hugging him tight, feeling his body shake as he finally let the tears go. "And Keith and Karen love you, too. They don't need you to be some basketball superstar to love you. Let them help you…"

"Why would they want to help me?" Nathan snapped. "All I do is hurt people-I hurt things."

"Stop it! Stop putting yourself down! You didn't do any of this-you didn't cause your father to do this…he did it all on his own! It's his fault, not yours, and I swear to God if I hear you blame yourself again, I will personally kick your a--." She sat on the grass, pulling her knees into her chest, resting her arms on her knees.

She smiled a little when Nathan sat beside her, drawing his knees up in a similar pose to her. "Would you really kick my a--?" he asked with a grin, turning to look at her.

"Yeah, I really would, and don't you ever forget it," Haley responded, grinning back at him before her face turned serious. "Looks like someone's come looking for you."

He nodded, looking at his bad arm. The doctor had taken off the bandages on the burns, and had also removed the stitches in his palm. He wiggled his fingers with satisfaction, giving Haley a small smile. "I have something to smile about, at least," he told her, looking up at Keith as he came to the two teens. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. Are you okay?"

"No," Nathan said truthfully, turning to look at Haley. "But I think I'm starting to get there."

"Okay. Well, are you ready to go home? I think Karen's getting pretty worried."

"Yeah…just…give me a minute?"

"Sure. Here, I brought you a coat; only you'd think about storming out of the house in the middle of winter without a coat on," Keith chastised, tossing Nathan his letterman's jacket. Nathan tried pulling it on, but Haley ended up having to help him.

"Thank you," he whispered, looking at her face. "For everything." He leaned in capturing her lips. It was so quick that she almost missed it, and when he pulled away, standing up, she was still shocked.

**Thank you all for your reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

**author's note: I don't own OTH...just thought i'd let you know...also, song is mine...i made it up a long, long time ago...and brownie points to anyone who know's the title of the song the chapter title is from**

**thank you all for your reviews!**

**Chapter Five: Where'd You Go?**

Nathan sat on his bed, hearing Keith and Karen talk quietly in the hallway, wondering what they were going to say to him-how they were going to punish him. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering if maybe they'd send him away; how could he blame them, after how awful he had acted?

Keith knocked on his door softly, and Nathan sat up as it opened. "Can we talk?" Keith asked, looking around the room. It was still so pristine, and Keith wondered how comfortable Nathan felt with this new room if he couldn't even mess it up a little. Or maybe it would just take him a little time. "Today freaked me out, Nathan."

"You and me both," Nathan answered, laying back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling again. "I've never done that before. I've never…" he looked as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how. "I…it was scary…like an…an out-of-body experience or something. But…I couldn't help it…it all hurt and I just needed it out-" He looked at Keith, his piercing blue eyes so sad, so clouded with pain. Keith realized he was wondering if he would ever be happy again-not that he was so happy when his parents were alive.

"Somehow, Nate…I will make sure you're happy again, okay? I'm not gonna leave you to wallow alone in this pain and this misery that you're forcing on yourself-that you don't deserve. You haven't ever deserved it. For God sakes, you are sixteen years old! You shouldn't be blaming yourself for any of this!"

"Almost seventeen," Nathan commented, looking down at the ground.

"Huh?"

"I'm almost seventeen…only a month or so."

"And that makes any of this right?" Keith questioned. "We'll get you okay, kiddo, you know that, right?"

"I know," Nathan whispered, looking at Keith. "I'm tired. Today has not been good…and I just want it all to go away. Maybe dream it all away...maybe."

"Maybe. Get some rest, Nate…tomorrow's always better. The pain's less," Keith admitted, ruffling his nephew's hair, giving him a smile. "If not, a little alcohol always helps." Nathan's face lit with a grin, and he even laughed a little, shaking his head at his uncle's tactics.

"Night, Keith," he said as he door closed and he was left with silence and the ceiling again. His mind drifted from his erratic behavior earlier that day to Haley…and their kiss. His kiss, actually…she seemed so surprised when he leaned in-she didn't fight it, but she didn't respond to it, either. He wondered if she was thinking about it, too.  
He felt his eyes droop, trying to close as sleep willed itself to overtake him. He tried to shake it off, but it wouldn't work. He finally shut his eyes, his sleep overtaking him.  
Karen opened his door at 11:30 to check on Nathan, surprised to find him asleep on top of his bed. She gently undid his shoes and take off his socks, retrieving a blanket fromt eh closet outside and put it over him. "Night, sweetheart," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

11001100

Haley sat at the keyboard in her room, staring at it with a blank look on her face as her fingers trailed the black and white keys that had long collected dust on them. She hadn't played in so long…since her parents had died three years ago. But now…something had changed…

Her mind drifted off as the music came out, and she thought about her parents. They had been so bright, so happy…people said that she had their personality. She remembered a lot from with them…she was only twelve when they died, but she remembered flashes, glimpses...not real memories.

"You're playing again," her oldest brother, Brian, said from the doorway, coming into her room. She looked up from the keys, never stopping the flowing notes. "It's good to here you play. It's almost like normal."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

"So, what has you playing tonight?" Brian asked, sitting on her bed as he listened to the melody. Haley had such obvious musical talents…she rarely sang anymore, but when she did, she couldn't have a voice more full of power and passion.

"I don't know. Maybe…I just happy," she answered, shrugging.

"Just happy or is Nathan Scott on your mind?"

She flinched, looking at Brian in wide-eyed surprised. "Why would you say that?"

"Come on, Haley, I'm your brother. I see what happens when I say his name…I know you're tutoring him and I've heard about what happened with his parents and I know you aren't the type to ignore that. Hales, he makes you happy, doesn't he?"

She shrugged, suddenly stopping the song. "What if he does? It's not like anything is gonna happen, Brian. He's…Nathan freaking Scott, for God's Sakes…" she said, giving him a smile. "And what are you doing home so early? Don't you have class tonight?"

"No…I thought I'd spend tonight home with my little sis."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Let me guess, hot date?"

"You know it. You'll be fine for dinner and whatnot?"

"I always am, aren't I?" she asked. "Besides, I have homework to do…I need to call Lucas…I think Brooke wants to make plans for this weekend…maybe…I'm not sure. Go out, have fun, have a life…one of us needs to."

"So funny, Hales. I'll be home late-"

"I wouldn't wait up even if you were home early."

"Okay, well, no getting into the beer, no sex, keep the doors locked-"

"Go, now, before I kill you," Haley said, narrowing her eyes while grinning.

"Kay. Loves ya, Hales."

"Loves ya, too, Bri," she responded, watching him walk out of her room. He was the only family left in her life anymore; her other siblings decided her grief wasn't worth their time.

She turned back to her keyboard, her fingers flexing at the unfamiliar positions she put them in. She was surprised at how quickly they made a new tune, slow, raw, and how quickly her voice caught up to the tune.

_Shattered dreams…  
Shattered life  
You weren't supposed to see…  
That side of me… _

Shattered dreams…  
My life falling apart…  
Pick me up…  
Promise me…  
Promise you'll pick up the pieces  
Of me…

There they are…  
Why won't someone try to help me…  
Don't stand back…  
Please don't leave…  
I need…  
I just want someone…  
Why won't someone try to help me…

Help me…  
Help me…find the  
Shattered pieces of me…

Put me back together again please…  
Put me back together…  
All the way back together again…  
Put me back together  
I'm just asking you to please..

Pick up the pieces.  
Hand me the glue.  
I'll put me back together…  
If you don't want to…

And I'll try…  
I'll try to fight this battle alone…  
But when  
I fall,  
There goes to shattered…  
Shattered…  
Shattered life again…

With the many pieces of me…  
Pick me up again

11001100

Nathan jerked awake, obviously from yet another nightmare. His body was trembling, and he pushed off his blankets in an attempt to stop the fear racing through his mind. He looked around the dark room, his good hand searching around for the lamp. He braced his body when the lamp fell off the bedside table, shattering into pieces by his bed.

"Nathan?" Lucas asked, turning on the light. He rushed to his brother's bed, putting a comforting hand on Nathan's unhurt shoulder. "It's okay, Nate. Another nightmare?"

Nathan shook his fervently. "C'mon…let's go to the kitchen. I'm gonna get you some medicine-"

"No…no medicine," Nathan got out, shaking his head.

"Nathan, though you might not want it, I don't want to wake up in another three hours to hear you knocking over lamps. It'll give you a chance to get some peaceful sleep. Please, Nathan…just tonight…have pity on me and let me go get you a pill?"

"Fine. One," Nathan allowed, standing up, following his older brother through the house to the kitchen, wincing slightly against the harsh lights Lucas turned on. He sat at the counter, leaning back against the chair as Lucas looked over each of the prescriptions before deciding which one Nathan should take. He finally popped out a white pill, handing it to Nathan before getting him a bottle of water. "What is this?"

"Sleeping pill. Who would thunk that you had a sleeping pill in there?" Lucas asked with a grin, making sure his brother downed the pill and some water. "How are you doing, man?"

"How do you think?" Nathan shot back. "I hurt everywhere…every time I move, I hurt. Everything's bruised and sore."

"I'm sorry man," Lucas said, sitting beside his brother. "How'd it go with Haley?"

"She threatened to kick my a$$," Nathan answered back, shrugging a little. "Could she?"

"Definitely. Don't mess with her, man."

"I kissed her."

Lucas sputtered on his own water, turning to look at his brother with a hitched eyebrow. "What?"

"I…um…kissed her. And I…umm…" _gulp_ "…am trying to work up the courage to ask her out."

"Oh, so you have the courage to mack on her, but you don't have the balls to go on a date with her?" Lucas asked harshly.

"What? So not the case. Did not mack…no macking. It was a thank-you for helping me. And asking her out would kind of lead to something more…something I want…something that would help me," Nathan stated, getting up. "I'm tired."

"Nathan!-"

Nathan turned around, shaking his head. "No! I've done nothing wrong here! I'm not the jackass that I was before and you can't accuse me of it! Not after what I've gone through! Not after how I've changed!"

"What are you two doing up?" Keith asked sternly, making both teenagers jump and stop their argument. "I really want to know why my two 17-year-old boys are tromping around the house at 2 in the morning when they have school tomorrow."

"I had a nightmare. I broke the lamp by the bed…I didn't mean too…" Lucas noticed that Keith's face noticeably softened when Nathan said he had a nightmare. "Luke was just getting me a sleeping pill."

"Okay. Get back to bed, both of you. You have to get up tomorrow morning," Keith ordered, shaking his head. "Only the two of you would decide to argue at two in the morning."

Both boys laughed, trudging back to their separate rooms.

11001100

Haley sat at the bench on the dock, waiting for Nathan. She skimmed throguh the math book, her pencil tapping the wood as questions built in her mind.

"Hey," she heard his rough voice as he sat across from her, rubbing his temples.

"Hi," she replied in a whisper. "I need to ask you about last night."

"Okay," he said, looking at her. "What's wrong?"

"God, Nathan, are you stupid? You kissed me! And didn't say any freaking thing about it! God! Why did you kiss me? I mean….it'd be nice to know if you just did it as a joke or if you'd really like to have something with me!" She said quietly, never raising her voice.

"Haley, I-I…"

"Never mind, Nathan. Don't worry about it-" She said, standing up, feeling him stand up as well.

"What do you want, Haley? I kissed you. To say thank you. I wasn't being some jackass, okay! You best of all should know that." He shook his head, looking away from her, his hands clinching. "Dammit, I like you-"

"Yeah, right, Nathan. I'm not exactly your normal bimbo-type of girl. I'm not blonde, I'm not a slut!"

"Hey!"

"I know your type of girl, or have you forgotten the countless tutoring sessions you've missed to mack with them?"

Nathan laughed a little, making her raise her eye in surprise. "That's the second time someone's called kissing 'macking'. And anyway, so you're not my normal type of girl. Maybe that's what makes me like you-the fact that you're something different…something refreshing. You're someone who keeps me grounded…you make me feel normal. And I like that. Just like I like you."

Haley was quiet for once, judging his truthfulness. He looked so earnest, so much like a young boy. She wouldn't smile at him; she had promised herself not to smile at him, but, as she looked into his eyes, there was that grin she had tried so hard not to give. Haley was still standing there, contemplating Nathan's words when she felt him grasp one wrist with his good hand, pulling her toward him. She gasped in surprise as his lips came down on hers in a searing kiss. It was obvious that, if anything, Nathan was God's gift to women in kissing…

Her insides turned to mush as his hand trailed up her arm to tangle in her hair, pushing her in, closer, more intimate. He pulled away relunctantly, keeping his hand in her hair.

"How can you say I don't like you know? I shout it out to the world." His voice raised slightly. "I LIKE HALEY JA-"

She laughed, covering his mouth with her hand. "You don't need to shout it…" she whispered, leaning in to kiss him again.

"But what if I want to shout it?" he asked, grinning at her.

"It's too early in the morning for you to be shouting anything," she sobered up from her previous giddy attitude. "Way way way too early."

"Someone's not a morning person," Nathan said with a laugh, encasing her hand with his, finally at peace.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, guys, thank you for all your reviews! I'm giddy with glee when I get emails saying I have reviews. Ok, so this chapter not my favorite. It's filler material, not something i really like, but it hleps build the story. **

**Disclaimer: I own NOT OTH. I wish I did own it, because...i heart this show...but it's from Mark's brain, not mine; I DO, however, OWN FATE. I OWN MY STORYLINE, MY CHARACTER'S OOC PERSONALITIES, AND ANY MADE UP CHARACTERS I add. Unless otherwise indicated, I ALSO OWN ALL SONGS USED...I E I wrote them. So PLEASE DO DON'T COPY THIS FIC ONTO ANOTHER SITE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. **

**Chapter Six: I Keep Going On**

Nathan slowly opened the doors to the gym, letting out a slow breath as he pushed his way through the doors, surveying the team practice. They were weak where he used to be; Lucas hadn't had that much practice with the team and wasn't used to Tim's goofed up passes or Dennis' quick feet work. He'd get there, though; Nathan had no doubt.

As he stepped forward, he saw one by one the team members stop, staring at him, not knowing what to say to make it sound like they hadn't betrayed him. He took in another breath, hand clinching beneath his letterman jacket. HE shouldn't feel jealous; he couldn't: it wasn't Lucas' fault he was like this, all banged up and unable to help his team as they made their way to the state playoffs.

"Hey, Nathan," Lucas said quietly, wondering what his brother was thinking behind those dispassionate blue eyes of his. Most people didn't think Nathan actually could think, but he did, and often, and he knew how to hide it well. He hid his ramblings behind a façade of disinterest and boredom.

"Hey. Is Whitey around?" Nathan asked, flicking his vision toward Lucas to show that he acknowledged his brother.

"Yeah. He's in his office," Lucas answered. Nathan nodded, turning from his brother, from his team, to the door leading to the locker room and Whitey's small office. He took one step away, then two, wondering what they were all thinking….thinking about how utterly _awkward_ this meeting had been.

Whitey was sitting at his desk, going over last week's game. They had won, but just barely; Nathan being out of the game meant a severe deficit of points that they needed and wouldn't or couldn't score. He looked up, surprised to see Nathan about to knock on the door. He grinned, waving the boy in. "Didn't your doctor tell you something about _rest_ and _relaxation_?" Whitey quipped, taking a sip of his coffee…alright, his coffee with an awfully little lick of Jack Daniel's in it.

"Yeah, but he didn't tell me how bored I could be just resting and relaxing," Nathan smarted back, giving Whitey his trademark smirk before slinging his long body into the chair beside Whitey's desk, quietly observing the film. "Lucas' left side is still weak. He's leaving a lot of time for an opponent to get in there and take the ball from him."

"Good observation, Nathan," Whitey spoke softly, making Nathan turn to look at him. "But why don't you tell me why you're really here?"

"I want to do something besides sit around the house after school. Did you know I can't do anything? I can't play ball, I can't play Xbox or my PS2 or the Nintendo, I can't do anything; for God Sake's, I can't even read a book or something…_educational_ like that."

"So, why are you here?"

"I want to help, Coach. I want to get back to practice and I want to be able to get back to the game…even if it's just to cheer on my team mates. I need to do something…and we all know that I'd rather be here than at home anyway. This team is my heart, and if I deserve anything, it's to be with them when they win the game to qualify for state play-offs."

"And what do you propose you do for four hours at practice?" Whitey questioned, looking at Nathan with a determined gleam in his eye, a smile pressing on his lips but not showing.

"I don't know. I could…help you coach, get the balls up, do water…hell, I'll even wash those towels just to give me something to do," Nathan responded, "But I just can't sit around doing nothing anymore.

"Okay, son, okay. If you can suit up, you can sit on the bench on Thursday. And I know I really don't need to tell you this, but if you want to come to practice, we'd be glad to have you there."

"Really, Whitey?"

"Really, son."

"Thank you," Nathan whispered, standing up, giving the old man one last grin before leaving the office.

11001100

"Are you sure Nathan didn't want to come with us?" Karen asked Keith as they drove toward the gym, ready to cheer on the Ravens to-hopefully- a victory over the Winchester War Eagles.

"Yeah. He wasn't feeling too hot-his stomach was acting up earlier today, he said, and he probably doesn't need to be around the gym and basketball when he can't play. Haley said she'd come over, keep him company for a little bit. I gave him a sleeping pill and last thing I saw, he was sacked out on the couch. Don't worry so much about him."

"The boy just lost his parents, Keith, not to mention being in a disastrous car wreck. I have right to be worried."

"I know, Karen, I know. But he's okay, you know? He's going to be all right…as soon as you bypass all that damage that Dan did to him and somehow shove out the neglect that both of them-"

"Keith! Don't speak of the dead that way! What's done is done; Dan and Deb might not have done the best job as his parents, but they did love him, despite what either of you two think. And I will not have them being put down for raising him like they did," Karen chastised, looking back at their rapidly disappearing house.

"I'm sorry, Karen," Keith whispered.

"It's fine. Did you talk to the lawyer today?"

"Yes. We're using the money from selling the house to pay for Nathan's medical bills…that's what he wants, and there are several trusts that were set up for him for various reasons that we're combining to make a college trust for. His mother's life insurance policy is going into that same trust, and Dan's money is being split into three different areas: Nathan's trusts, business money, and Lucas' trust."

Karen looked up at him questioningly. "Lucas doesn't have a trust."

"Nathan said that it wasn't fair for all his father's money to only be given to one of his father's sons. He wouldn't take the money without having it being split between him and Lucas equally."

"Is he sure that's what he wants?"

"Told the lawyer himself. I promised Nathan I'd take over Dan's business, and I'm gonna add the shop onto it…"

"Keith, that's nice of you."

"Despite what he says, Nathan loves that dealership. Dan's had it since he was a kid, and he probably wants it so that he can pass it down to his children and whatnot. I'm going in Monday to Clint's office to see what I need to do in way of filing formal adoption papers for Nathan and for Lucas."

"Keith, don't you think that's a little too soon for Nathan?" Karen asked, knowing how much Keith wanted to be Lucas' father, wondering how much was guilt in his pursue of obtaining adoption papers for Nathan.

"It's a big step, but I just want them ready for when he really wants to become part of our family. I won't press him…it's not right to press him after what happened. But I just want that option opened to him incase he wants to do it," Keith replied, turning onto the main highway into town.

11001100

"Nathan, are you sure you want to do this?"

Haley's voice was quiet as she helped him into his uniform, smirking at the hard, defined muscles of his chest, wondering how long he worked out to get that body…well, however long it was, it was certainly worth it. She popped a kiss on his mouth as she watched him struggle to undo the sling.

"Yes, I want to do this," he answered, smiling at her gratefully as she gently slipped the sling over his head, letting it pool down beside his feet. "I need to do this."

"Okay, okay," she said, leaning in to kiss him again, which he smiled eagerly at. She loved kissing him, he loved kissing her….together they were just one big kiss-fest….  
She easily slid on his jersey, situating it just right before grabbing his black warm up top. He already had on his bottoms…Lucas helped him get into those before he left because Nathan was too embarrassed to ask for help and nearly fell and knocked his head on the corner of his beside table.

"Thank you for helping me, Hales," he said, his voice husky as he ran his hand over her knuckles, giving his one of his honest, emotional smiles.

"No problem," she replied, kissing his forehead before going to work on putting his warm-up top on. He winced slightly when she brought his hurt arm through, and she gave him a reassuring kiss to make sure he knew that she was being careful. After she had carefully-oh so carefully- set his arm back in the sling, kissing away the look of pain on his face, she put on one shoe, then the other before grabbing his letterman jacket. "You ready to go?"

He nodded, looking up at her, wondering. Wondering what Haley James-the tutor, the pretty girl, the girl who could have anyone in the school, but chose him, of all people-saw in him? It certainly wasn't anything his slew of other girl friends had seen-it wasn't the sex appeal, it wasn't the popularity, it wasn't the fact that he was rich-she saw something else-something different.

And he happened to like that different that she saw.

11001100

"Welcome back, Ladies and gentlemen, to the state-qualifying game. As you all know, it's been two weeks since the Ravens have stepped out on the court, and this time they'll be missing leading scorer Nathan Scott, who, as we reported earlier on is recovering from a car wreck," Mouth said into his microphone, hearing the crowd roar wildly. They loved his broadcast…his game-ly broadcast was listened to by everyone in Tree Hill, and he was known for having the inside scoop or great critics to break down the game and tell the audience what was really happening. "Stepping in tonight is Nathan's half-brother, Lucas Scott, who admitted earlier that he was a little bit nervous about the big shoes he was about to fill."

Inside the locker room, Lucas shook his head, smirking at Mouth's commentary before shutting it off in his mind, focusing on his game. He needed to make sure this happened-for himself, for the team, but mostly for Nathan, to give him something to look forward to when he returned.

"Okay, ladies, we may be down, but we aren't out," Whitey began the team pep-talk, his face as stern in harsh as ever. "I know most of you think Nathan is the reason we've made it this far, and you probably are right. He's carried this team for so long, and he led you to victory. Now you have to lead yourselves. Do you know what Nathan told me two days ago? He wanted to come back to this team, just to sit on the bench, because this team is his heart. And you guys…you want this. You've worked so hard this year for this, and you need to prove to this team, to this town, that you're ready for that state championship. We've run countless two a days, practiced till you puked, and go out there and prove it!" The boys yelled, riled up and ready to go. Many of the guys bumped Nathan's fist as they filed out, Lucas at the end. He helped Nathan up, giving him a smile.

"You ready?" Nathan asked his brother, giving him the trademark smirk.

"Ready for what?"

"For everything. For glory, fame, popularity…all the things a seventeen-year-old kid dreams about."

Lucas shook his head, rolling his eyes, not believing his brother.

"Welcome to the court the Tree Hill Ravens," Mouth announced, clapping with the thunderous crowd as the boys came out into the gym. Then came silence as they watched the two Scott boys step out onto the court together. Slowly, the applause started again, smiling faces swirling around as they saw the younger Scott. "That, ladies and gentlemen, is the appreciation of all the fans here for Nathan Scott, who has stepped onto the court with his teammates to support them in their pursuit of a state title."

Whitey had never been more proud of Nathan, he decided, as he watched the teenager carefully throughout the game. He was laid back, so easy going, so many things he hadn't been in a long, long, while. He shared his thoughts with his teammates about the opposing team, giving them advice on which men to block and how to score the point, while not putting down their methods.

He had won them their game.

11001100

Thursday night, after the game was over and the Ravens had gotten yet another victory, Nathan lay in his bed, thinking about what might have been. What would have happened had he not wrecked his SUV that fateful night? Would he have changed as much as he did? Would he have gone after Haley, fought to have a relationship with her?

"You still up, kiddo?" Keith asked, opening the door to Nathan's dark room quietly. Nathan hadn't been lying about not feeling well. Once they had gotten home, he had gone straight to the bathroom to throw up, then straight to bed. Though it was only eleven-thirty, Nathan should have been asleep a long time ago.

"Yeah, Keith."

"Stomach still bothering you?"

"A little, Uncle Keith. Just annoying, more than anything," Nathan answered, sitting up in his bed so that he could look at his Uncle. "Did you want something?"

"To talk for a little bit, if that's okay," Keith whispered, coming into the room.

"Sure."

"So, I went to the lawyer's office today and I drew up adoption papers."

"For Lucas? That's great, Keith."

"For Lucas…and for you," Keith put out, giving him a small, hopeful smile.

Praying for things not to go badly…

**CLIFFY CLIFFY CLIFFY! REVIEWING MIGHT GET TO THE RESOLUTION OF THE CLIFFY SOONER! LOVE YOU ALLS...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Guys, thank you so much for your reviews! They mean a lot to me! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. So don't ask...but, i do own one coughbeingegotisticalherecough kick-ass story...done being conceded...**

**Chapter Seven: Sugar We're Going Down, Down**

"Nathan?" Keith gently prompted, after sitting by Nathan on the bed for thirty minutes.

"Adopt me? Really?"

"Of course. You're my son now, Nate. You and Lucas. I want to adopt you because I want you to still have a family, one that cares for you and loves you back," Keith explained, putting a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "We'd love to have you in our family as long as you want to come."

Nathan was silent again, looking out the window in the darkness of his room. "Really?"

"Really."

He smiled slowly. "Then yes. I'd love to be in your family," he whispered, looking down at his feet.

"Good. I was hoping you'd say that…I was a little worried."

"What…what happens now?"

"There's a whole process that I have to go through, but I'll make sure it all gets done. You okay?"

"Not really…I feel sick again, but as soon as I throw up I'll be able to get some sleep," Nathan answered, looking at the alarm clock by his bed.

"No nightmares?"

"None thus far. But it's only midnight…I've still got awhile to go," he answered simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Nathan, you have those sleeping pills…"

"No. I'm not taking any of that crap. It's bad for me…and I need to face these things by myself and without the help of some…foreign object," Nathan said quickly, looking at the bottle of pills on top of his dresser. "If they get too bad, I take half of one….never a full one…"

"Okay…if you aren't feeling better in the morning, though, I'm taking you back to the doctor."

"I have to go back, anyway. I get my sling off tomorrow," Nathan said, excitedly happy.

"Oh, yeah. What time is it?"

"10:30."

"Okay, then. Be up by 9, okay?" Keith said, standing up, patting Nathan's shoulder. "And please, please try to get some sleep. Karen's worried that she's not feeding you enough."

"I'm gonna grow fat and lazy off her food, Keith. I don't think she has to worry about me eating."

"I know…but she does worry. 'Night, Nathan."

"Night, Uncle Keith."

11001100

"Are you happy?" Haley asked as they walked down Market Street, hand in hand.

"Yeah. I'm very happy. Happier than I've been in awhile," Nathan answered, leaning in to kiss her. He smiled lightly, running a hand down her back to rest at the small of it. It was Christmas, and any passer-by through Tree Hill would be mystified by the twinkling white lights lining the tops of the streets from Main Street to Market, near the docks, back up to Bakersfield near the Highway. Throughout the neighborhoods, most houses had a soft glow illuminating from their Christmas trees. Deb used to get a whole decorating crew who's sole task was to oversee the decoration of the house so that it looked proper and spick-and-span for entertaining guest at her many Christmas functions. There were lavish gifts that took a million hours to open, all meaningless that would somehow end up broken by next year.

This year, Nathan had a feeling things would be different. For one, there was no decorating team. There was Karen and Keith, a whole bunch of cardboard boxes from the attic labeled 'Christmas,', and a five-thirty curfew so Nathan could be home to help decorate. That was a new one to him…the curfew and the decorating. Nathan hated Christmas. He was usually alone, his parents at many holiday soirées, not realizing that it was about spending time with your _family_.

So much had changed in the month that he had been living with Keith and Karen, so he wasn't surprised about the holidays. The Friday after that first game back, Nathan had gotten his sling taken off. He began practicing again with his brother…he'd come in after only 15 minutes, his arm trembling with pain. His first game back on the court had been a miserable failure. He had scored only 2 measly points, and had harmed more than helped. But Lucas and Whitey and Haley and Keith and Karen had encouraged him on, and during the second game, his total points soared to 15, and he had two assists. With each and every game…with each grueling practice…he came closer to his old self. Though, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be the same. He couldn't run as much, didn't have such great stamina, and Whitey, thankfully, understood. Nathan was allowed frequent breaks, more leniency for stupid mistakes, and less laps with running.

At school, his life was even more vastly different from the remnants of his old life. He found his new set of friends more enjoyable than his old-Skillz and him were able to talk about music, Mouth about the game and his analysis of it, and Fergie about…well, just about anything.

And then there was his brother. They were closer now than most brothers who had grown up together. Lucas was what any big brother was-he protected Nathan from the constant insults and jeers thrown his way by his old friends, and in return Nathan protected him from the many 'bastard' jokes. They enjoyed each other's company, and found a level of comfortableness within themselves.

But, lastly, there was Haley…his Haley. She was what got him through all his rough spots. She hugged him tight, kissed him, promised him that tomorrow, it would be better. She comforted him the night of his first horrid game back, kissing away his frowns and the hurt and disappointed look in his eyes. She rubbed his back as he finally broke down, whispering soothing words to him and pressing closer to him, proving to him that she was here for him, always.

All in all, people would say that Nathan was different-that he was better.

But they didn't know about the nightmares.

He got them every night now, nightmares about his father and mother and finding them and dieing by his father and horrid, vivid images about their deaths and his past life.  
He'd wake up with a blood-curling start, his heart racing, his whole body shaking. He'd sit there in the dark, watching the minutes pass by, wishing himself to sleep. He often caught himself staring at the bottle of sleeping pills, but he'd jerk his head away.  
No one ever knew, and he never told. He'd simply wait, willing himself until he finally fell asleep. Often, he'd only get an hour of sleep at best, sometimes because he'd have a stream of those nightmares.

"Nathan?"

His head jerked up, looking at Haley. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he lied, kissing her again…somehow, her kisses made it all better. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"A nightmare?"

"No…just couldn't sleep." Another lie…it had scared the hell out of him. He had woken up in a pool of sweat, his hands past trembling, his whole body shaking. He had even taken a pill…well, half of one…before he finally made it back to sleep. "Listen, I need to get home. I'll call you later tonight?"

"Sure. Have fun decorating," Haley called, smirking at him as he shook his head at the nonsense.

11001100

"I'm back!' Nathan called when he entered the house, immediately going to his room and taking off his shoes and throwing his jacket on the back of one of the chairs. He and Lucas had put those chairs to good use with many hours of PS2 and XBOX. He looked at the bottle of sleeping pills before leaving his room, going in search of his family.

They already had the tree set up, Karen doing it while Keith was at work and Lucas, presumably, was with Brooke. "Well, well, well, now that both the boys are back from their girlfriends," Keith teased, giving Nathan a smile. "How is Haley?"

"She's good…excited to be going out of town and seeing her sister," Nathan answered, absentmindedly picking up an ornament. "I'm going to miss her."

"I know, Nathan. But it's what, nine days?" Karen said, squeezing his forearm. "You'll be fine. Now, why don't you help me with those lights?"

"Sure," he said, grabbing the roll of lights. "What do you want me to do? I've never really…done anything like this. I haven't decorated a Christmas tree before-"

"And they call me weird," Lucas commented, arching his eyebrows as Nathan gave him a sarcastic smirk.

"No, they call you weird because you'd rather spend your time in the library than at a party or whatnot. I'm weird because my father killed my mother," Nathan answered, his happy face instantly falling. He sobered up, biting his bottom lip. "Um…excuse me." He handed off the role of lights to Lucas, walking out of the room to the porch, the swing there. He sat on it, rocking back a little, then forward, back, than forward.

"You miss them?" Karen whispered, sitting beside him on the swing.

"Everyday," he returned, looking at her. "No offence…but yes, everyday."

"They're your parents, Nathan. No matter what…they'll always be your parents," Karen said, taking his hand in hers. "And Keith and I know that. We know that we aren't gonna replace them."

"I know. But why do I miss them? My mom neglected me and my dad ignored me unless it came to basketball," Nathan admitted, looking down at his feet. It was the first time he actually said anything about his dad's mistreatment of him.

"Did he ever hit you, Nathan?" she asked quietly, looking at him. He looked at his, almost like he was thinking.

"No. Not intentionally. He hit me once because I cussed him out…but no. He loved his words more than anything," Nathan said. "I was the punching bag when his head needed a mental break."

"Nathan-"

Karen was at a loss for words.

"But it doesn't matter," Nathan whispered. "He's still gone."

"So remember them for their good memories and not the bad. And come back inside before you catch a cold." With that, she ran a hand through his hair, kissing his forehead before leaving him alone.

In truth, he didn't want to remember anything. He was happy, for once, and remembering bad thoughts would just ruin his mood. He sat outside for thirty more minutes, letting the cold wind assault his body.

"Mom's starting to worry," Lucas whispered from the doorway, arms crossed to prevent the cold from getting to him. "You're missing all the holiday fun."

"I'm not in much of a holiday fun mood right now," Nathan replied, not looking at his brother.

"But come inside, and I'm sure Mom and Keith could put you in one. She's making cookies, Nate; you know you can't resist the cookies." Lucas smiled when Nathan let out a small, swift laugh. "Is something going bad with you and Haley?"

"God, no. Everything's great…better than great. She's like…a human drug of ecstasy or something. I can't get enough."

"Ewww….that's Haley you're talking about! My best friend Haley!" Nathan smirked at Lucas' obvious discomfort. "So what's wrong? I know the holiday's can be a bch, but-"

"I hate Christmas," Nathan said suddenly, not looking at Lucas. "I hate everything about it. I hate decorating because I never got to. Time away from school and basketball just meant more arguing from my parents and more time alone when they left to go attend all their pressing holiday parties. Gifts were just apologies, and oh how many I got. There was no Santa and there were no reindeer and everything was…"

"Not this year, Nathan. This year will be different. No parties, no decorating team…just us…our family. Come back inside, please? Before Mom has a hernia or something."

"I will…in just a minute."

Lucas apparently approved of that answer, and made his way back inside. Thank God. Nathan really wasn't in the mood for a touchy-feely family moment.  
He returned a couple minutes later to the inside, where Karen and Keith were currently putting ornaments on the tree. "Are you okay?" Keith's eyes asked him, and he nodded, picking up an ornament. He gave Karen a smile as he hung the ornament up. Today was going to be okay.

11001100

Christmas Eve. Usually, Nathan spent the day moping around his huge house, sneaking presents back to his room and opening them before realizing what a sad life he had.

Today was different.

For one, he had cooked. Karen actually let him near the stove. She let him help her with the food for their big Christmas Eve dinner. He had helped her cook the turkey, and surprisingly hadn't burned anything. In fact, Karen had even complimented him on it. That had put a smile on his face for the rest of the day.

Now he was sitting in front of the tree, going through the presents. There wasn't a lot of them…but there were enough. Equal amount for him and Lucas, which kind of made him happy to know that he had someone to share Christmas with.

"Nathan, you know you can't open those till tomorrow, right?" Lucas asked, sitting beside his brother.

"I know. I used to sneak presents up to my room on Christmas. It's not like my parents used to acutally know that their gifts weren't there anymore. Too busy being popular," Nathan whispered absentmindedly, finally looking up at his brother. "But not anymore, right?"

"Right. Cause now you got me and Keith and Mom and Haley and you have to wait," Lucas smirked, making Nathan laugh.

"Nate, Luke, dinner's ready!" Karen called from the kitchen, and all she heard was a scramble for the kitchen between the two.

As they all sat down, they heard the doorbell ring. Karen looked at Keith with exasperation in her eyes. He stood up, his family trailing behind him as he went to the front door, unlocking it and pulling open. "Dad?" Royal Scott looked at his eldest son critically, his mouth set in a firm frown. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take home my grandson."


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTETH. Neither the show (OTH) or the song (the Fray's 'One Hundred) or the title of the chapter (bonus points to whoever can name it.)**

**Thank you all for your reviews **

**Chapter Eight: When All You've Got to Keep Is Strong**

"Excuse me?" Keith's voice was full of contempt, his eyes raging. "What the _hell_ are you talking about?"

"I'm going to be taking Nathan home with me, where he belongs," Royal said slowly, peeking into the house, where Nathan and Lucas were looking back and forth at one another. "Nathan, get your stuff…were going home."

"Not that simple, Grandpa. I'm not going anywhere with you," Nathan snapped, staying beside Lucas. "This is my family now."

"I don't think so, boy. Get your stuff. We're going. Now."

"Screw you," Nathan muttered, not backing down. "No. Do I need to say it in another language or slower so your brain comprehends? NO."

"Your father wanted me to take you home, teach you some discipline-"

"My father isn't here anymore, if you hadn't notice. And I don't want to go anywhere….especially not with you. So find someone else to piss off tonight." Nathan was livid, and he flinched back when his grandfather reached out to touch him.

"I have a court order to take Nathan back. I'll get cops here-"

"Then I suggest you do," Karen replied with a smirk, putting a calming hand on Nathan's forearm. "He's _our_ son now. I'm not gonna let you take him from me."

"Well, well, Karen Roe. Dan's whore of a girlfriend."

"Better than being his bastard of a father," Karen replied without flinching back. "Bring the cops, but get the hell off my property."

"Fine. Nathan, I'll be back later tonight. Everyone have a Merry Christmas." With that, he turned and walked down the steps, and Keith closed and locked the door. He turned to his nephew, who had taken a couple of steps back, eyes wide, face pale. His back hit the wall, and he slid down it, knees bent to his chest, resting his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Keith took hold of his hands, crouching in front of him.

"Nathan, listen to me…Nate, look at me," Keith said firmly, making his nephew glance up at him. "We aren't going to let anything happen, okay, buddy? I promise you, as long as you want to stay with us, then I'm not gonna let him get to you."

"Keith…I don't want to go live there. Please, Keith…"

"Buddy, what did I just say? I'm not gonna let him take you from us. Karen and I aren't going to let that happen," Keith promised.

"I don't…I don't want to be anywhere near him. He's worse than dad…worse than him with the words….with the hands-" Fear pervaded Nathan's voice, scaring Keith.

"Nate, what are you talking about?"

"Basketball…he…he…"

"Sssh, baby boy," Karen soothed, wrapping her arms around her son, kissing his forehead. "No one's gonna hurt you. Especially not Royal."

"Mom, I called Haley. She's on her way," Lucas told his mother, who nodded. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah. Let's get him to the couch…I'm gonna go call the lawyer," Keith said, looking at Nathan. "Nate, you gotta get up, okay? Just to the couch…Karen and I are gonna stay right here…he isn't going to hurt you."

Nathan nodded, standing up, walking on his legs shakily. Karen took a throw from over the couch and put it over his body, telling him to rest. He needed that rest. Especially if Royal took him from _his_ family.

"How the hell could he come in and do that?" Karen asked her fiancé as they stood in the kitchen. Lucas was watching over his sleeping baby brother, protecting him of sorts. "He can't tear up our family. Especially not at Christmas."

"I don't know, Karen. I don't know how he did it. But he did. John says tonight there's nothing we can do. Nathan has to go or else they could arrest us. And the lawyer's office isn't open until the 26th. He said we'd start the proceedings there. Nathan's probably gonna have to go in and testify to the judge by himself…talk to him by himself," Keith explained. "We need to pack him some stuff…some clothes, his favorite stuff…"

"I'm not letting that monster get to him!"

"Karen, we have to."

They all jumped at the doorbell, but it was just Haley.

"Nathan," she murmured as she went to the couch, sitting on the edge of it. He looked so broken-the normally strong Nathan looked so, terribly _broken_.

He opened his eyes, smiling at her. "Hales? Will you stay by me?"

"Of course. Go back to sleep, okay?" Haley asked, molding her back into him, feeling him wrap his arm around her waist, kissing her neck. She intertwined their hands, kissing his knuckles as he drifted off again.

11001100

"Nate? Nate, honey, you have to wake up," Karen whispered, stroking his forehead.

"I don't wanna," Nathan whined.

"But you have to. Keith and I need to talk to you." He was up instantly, eyes wide awake.

"It's about your grandfather."

"Please tell me I'm not going."

"I'm so sorry, Nate. There's nothing we can do right now. Your grandfather went behind our backs. You have to go tonight."

"No! You promise-"

"I know I did, buddy, and I'll get you out of this. But go tonight…I'll get you bright and early tomorrow morning and come back tomorrow and have Christmas with us, okay?" Keith promised. "I won't let him ruin our Christmas. We'll save dinner and have it tomorrow, okay?"

"Keith, I don't want to go," Nathan said.

"I know. But you have to. I don't want you to go, either, none of us do, but you have to. And I'm so sorry. Karen and I have packed you some clothes, and your pills. You need to take them…sans the sleeping pill…as the bottle says, okay? Don't let your grandfather tell you otherwise."

"I know," Nathan whispered, hearing a banging on the door. "Must be the old grouch himself." He looked at Haley, still sleeping. "Hales…Haley…" he pushed her shoulder a little, hearing her groan, but open her eyes nonetheless. "I have to go, baby."

"Go? Go where?"

"I have to go with my grandfather. I'll call you tonight, okay? I promise," he said, leaning in to kiss her. She kissed back as if he was leaving forever, tears in her eyes. "I'll call you."

"You better," she replied, nuzzling his nose with hers, pressing her forehead against his, softly placing small kisses on his lips. She wrapped her hand around his, pulling him up.

"Let's go face the beast together."

He smiled at her, thankful for her support. He heard Keith talking to the police at the door, and he wanted to know what they were talking about. He came up behind his uncle, looking at the two men in officer's uniforms, quietly explaining to Keith their procedures.

"Uncle Keith?" he whispered, eyes setting hard as they settled on his grand father, looking smug behind the cops. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at eight," he said, giving his uncle a hug. "Thank you so much."

"Don't give up on the fight, Nate. We won't," Keith promised as Karen came through with a small duffle bag.

"There's clothes in there, some shampoo, some toothpaste, your shoes, some little extra things," she said with a wink, handing him the bag. She wrapped him in a hug, kissing his forehead as Lucas came forward, smiling.

"I'll see you, little brother."

"You too, big brother."

They smiled slightly as they bumped fists and did the man-hug thing, finally letting go when Haley's hand came onto Nathan's shoulder. They broke apart, and he looked at his girlfriend, leaning down to kiss her hard, as if he might not ever see her again. She pressed against him, hands running up and down his back, his keeping a tight grip on her hips, not wanting to let go, but reluctantly having to when air became a necessity. "Call me tonight," she whispered, standing on tip-toes to kiss him again, so softly.

"I will," he whispered back, kissing her forehead. "Merry Christmas, baby girl." With that, he turned, his nicely-wrapped gift pressed into her hand. His face struggled to control his emotions as he pushed past the officers and his grandfather, toward the brand new Range Rover parked so sloppily in the driveway. He looked back one time at his family, having to turn his head away quickly before tears threatened to show. He leaned his head against the window sill, watching the snow fall, bitterly thinking _it's finally snowing outside._

11001100

Royal glanced at his grandson in the passenger seat, running a thumb over his knuckles, marred with scars from the accident, his reminder now. "Your grandma thought you'd like something warm to eat when we get home, so she made a big meal…"

Nathan didn't respond, still watching the snow falling. "Nathan? You might want to merit me with a response."

Nathan stared out his window, his blue eyes bouncing off the glass to stare at his grandfather. His hand continued to rub, face set with hard determination.

"I know you're upset with me, Nathan, but this is for the best-"

"How the hell is this for the best, Grandpa? You're taking me from my family…the family that's taken care of me for a _month_. And you? You take me away from them on Christmas…"

"Nathan, they aren't good influence for you…"

"Like hell they aren't. You aren't good for me, Grandpa, whether you realize that or not."

"You need to focus. Focus on basketball-"

"And you need a life. Basketball isn't everything, sorry, but it isn't. And, incase you weren't informed, I lost both of my parents a month ago…and was in a car wreck. That's life…not basketball." He stared back out the window, never stopping the rubbing. So soothing…so soothing.

11001100

Nathan sat on the bed in the huge room, examining his arm. There were faint scars from the burns, fading more and more every day. He didn't mind them anymore…at the beginning, they had frightened him. It was something that…_disfigured_ him. But now, they were just there.

He looked at his basketball, sitting on the chair with his duffle bag. Well, not his, but a basketball. So much of his life had been put into that game…unto that ball. "Nathan, honey, there's some dinner ready if you want it," Mae Scott said, opening the heavy wooden door. Nathan didn't look up at her, eyes training on the ball. She sat on the edge of his bed, patting his shin. "Nathan, I know you're mad at your grandfather. But he just wants what's best for you. And he isn't sure that you living with Keith isn't it. You have a solid foundation here, baby, and Keith…I love my son, but Keith doesn't have that solidarity. His relationship with Karen could break at anytime….we don't want you to have to go through that…"

"That's bull. Grandpa doesn't want me with Keith because doesn't push like he does, he doesn't rag me and annoy me until I feel like I'm going to break. So sorry if I don't believe your bull." He stood up, going to his duffle bag and ravaging through it, finding a small object, pitching it to her. "That's what Grandpa wants for me."

He grabbed his cell phone, leaving her with the chain with her youngest son's wedding ring on it.

He found his way to the library, where he knew he would be safe from the old people, and dialed Haley's number. She picked up after only the second ring, and he smiled at hearing her voice. "Hello?"

"How much do you miss me?" he asked, smiling when he heard her surprise gasp.

"A lot. How are you?"

"I could be better," he returned.

"I'm sorry. Not going so well in the House of Hell?"

"Oh my God…can you kill me now?"

"No, Nathan, I can't. You mean it's going bad?" she asked, and he could tell she was smirking.

"Of course not. I absolutely love it! I want to stay here forever?" Sarcasm dripped in his voice as he leaned back against a shelf of books,

"No need to get nasty now," she whispered. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," he said, hearing footsteps. "Listen, I have to go, but hopefully I'll see you tomorrow?" The question in his voice made him regret asking. He had no confidence in his voice, just the pitiful little boy confused, worried…

"Of course you will. I'll be seeing you, Nathan Scott."

"You too, Hales. Bye."

"Bye babe." He heard the click of her phone, and he shut his eyes close, leaning his head back against the books. He didn't like where he was…this didn't feel right, like sleeping in his bed at Keith's did. This felt…it felt…it just felt wrong.

11001100

Haley closed her phone shut, letting it rest on the music stand of her keyboard beside the sheet music she printed out from the net. She bent her fingers, straightening them, feeling the tension in them begin to loosen. She tapped on a note quietly, trying to remember the words to the song. It was her favorite, written by the Fray, the ringtone of her phone.  
Her hands began playing the notes methodically, one hand switching the keyboard to the piano sound. The heavy music played out, stringing together to make the perfect sound.

_The how I can't recall,  
But I'm staring at what once was the wall  
Separating east and west  
Now they meet amidst the broad daylight… _

So this is where you are, and this is where I am,  
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred…

It's hard I must confess,  
I'm banking on the rest to clear away  
Cause we have spoken everything  
Everything short of I love you

You right where you are,  
From right where I am  
Somewhere between unsure  
And a hundred…

And who's to say it's wrong… She paused, her voice slipping as her eyes caught hold of two pictures. One of her parents' wedding: they looked so much in love, so sure of their life together, so sure that it wouldn't end in tragedy a few short years later, so sure that their family would remain close. The second was at her parents' funerals, the children lined up in a row, faces downtrodden with sadness, the last time they felt the same way at the same time-the last time they were a family. She turned her head back to the keyboard as her fingers slipped off the keys. She put them back on, forgetting the pictures, forgetting the tragedies of her life, for a song.

_And who's to say it's not right  
Where we should be right now?… _

So this is where you are  
And this is where I am.  
So this is where you are, and this… Tears slid down her face as her mind latched on to Nathan, begging the anomaly up in the sky…whether it be God, Allah, Brahma, Buddha, Kami…or just a coincidence that made things run smoothly on earth….to please keep him safe as Christmas wore on.

_This is where I've been.  
Somewhere between unsure…and a hundred…_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, sorry this took so long, but i haven't had my internet for awhile**

**DISCLAIMER: ME NO OWNETH OTH ...sorry...this is kinda filler chapter, so it sucks...i could have helped that, but i didn't**

**Chapter Nine: Over My Head**

Nathan's hands flew to his throat as his eyes opened in a panic. His breath came in heavy gasps as he listened for any noises in the dark room. He sat up slowly, a headache stirring as he did so. His hands were trembling slightly, he felt his stomach turn, and he kicked off his blankets, tangling them at the end of the bed, heading for his bathroom. He braced himself over the toilet as the little contents of his stomach came out and up, burning his throat. He felt his body convulse a little, and his hands gripped the toilet bowl tighter.

After he was done, he flushed the toilet, wiping his mouth as he leaned against the tub, resting his head on the tub. This was the first time he had thrown up because of a nightmare, but this one…this one had been the worst. He dreamt he was there when his father shot his mother, and then he had pointed the gun at him…and Haley had been there…he had shot Haley before he had shot him. He remembered his father standing over his body, laughing…telling him he was a worthless scumbag, that his mother…that Haley…none of them were fit to stay on Earth.

Haley had never been part of his dreams before. She was part of the living, part of his good life….why was she now haunting his nightmares?

He stood on his shaky legs, going back to his room, turning on a light. He went to his dresser, opening it, searching for the Ziploc bag of pills that Keith had given him. He was searching for his bottle of sleeping pills; this dream had been so bad that he was sure he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep on his own. He finally found it, unscrewing the cap and taking out two tiny pills…that should let him get some sleep. Should being the operative word.

He swallowed the pills, undoing the cap from the bottle of water in his room and downing half of it. He threw the bottle back toward the duffle bag, climbing back into the bed, curling up underneath the blankets, waiting. The pills only needed a couple of minutes to work before they set in, making him go right to sleep.

**11001100**

Mae Scott opened the door to Nathan's room quietly after hearing her grandson toss in the bed uncomfortably. He was asleep now, his body turned toward to the wall, away from her. She smiled, going closer to her grandson, memories of his childhood flooding her mind. He was so happy as a child, but over the years she had seen the sullenness build up, seen him turn from a happy child to….something not so happy.

"Grandma?" she heard Nathan whisper as the darkness flooded her face, disguising her from his foggy view.

"Hey, Nathan. Just making sure you're okay. Go back to sleep, baby," she whispered, reaching a hand over to lightly rub his hair. She watched him lying still, his eyes closed until she was convinced he was asleep. She leaned down to pick up his discarded blanket, ready to put it back over his body, noticing a red, swelling bump on his shin. She eyed it curiously, looking back up to Nathan's face, back down to his shin, patting it lightly before putting the blanket over his body, wishing him goodnight before leaving his room.

As she left, Nathan opened his eyes, big and full of pain as he kept his cry of anguish in him.

**11001100**

"Karen, do you know where Nathan is? He said he'd be here by eight," Keith asked his fiancé as they watched Lucas trudge into the living room.

"No. Call your parents; maybe he's just running a little late, Keith." Karen suggested from the oven, where she was cooking a big Christmas morning for Nathan, seeing as it was his first Christmas with them. She heard the phone ringing, smiling at Keith in that _I-told-you-so _look.

Keith picked up the phone, looking at her. "Hello?" He paused for a few minutes, his face falling from the smile. "Dad? Where are you?" He waited a minute, his face absolutely falling. "Oh, God…what's wrong? You don't know? Tell them I'm leaving as soon as I get off the phone with you. Yeah, of course. You, too. Bye Dad."

He hung up the phone, looking at Karen. "Nathan's in the hospital again. Mom went in to wake him up this morning and he was running a really high fever and he couldn't move his leg."

"Oh no….Keith… Lucas, hurry up and get dressed. We're leaving this house in **FIVE **minutes," Karen yelled to her son, who looked at her weirdly before heading back to his room.

"Why Nathan, Karen? He's been through so much in the past months….God, why him? What has the poor boy done?"

"I don't know, Keith, but he'll need us there, okay? Now, go get some of his presents; I'm not gonna let this ruin his day. We'll have Christmas at the hospital. You have to stay calm, okay? Nathan's gonna be freaking out enough for all of us. We need to stay calm for him." Karen gave Keith a light kiss, pushing him away, toward the tree. Calm. All they needed to do was to stay calm.

**11001100**

Nathan mumbled something incoherently as his fingers curled against the blanket covering him. The doctor and nurse had already given him some antibiotics for his fever, and now he was drowsy, not wanting to fall asleep, but wanting to all the same. Karen had closed the blinds to his room, trying to encourage the sleep to come. She was currently sitting by his bed with Mae, talking about some Christmas recipes.

"Nathan, I didn't expect you back so soon," Dr. Michelin said as he opened the door to Nathan's room. "What did you do this time?"

"I have a fever….I can't feel my leg, either," Nathan mumbled, looking back at the doctor. "There's a bump." Nathan stumbled over the words, fear in his eyes.

"A bump?" Michelin asked, looking at the notes the nurse had made, then at Nathan again. "How long has there been a bump?"

"Um…only a couple of days….a week or two," Nathan admitted, eyes laden with sleep.

"Which leg is it on, Nathan?"

"My left."

"Okay. I'm just gonna take a look, okay? Tell me if I hurt you," Dr. Michelin instructed to Nathan, pulling back the blankets to look at his leg. "Oh, Nathan…"

"It hasn't hurt for awhile….it started yesterday…and it won't stop," Nathan admitted, keeping his head back, away from the doctor's vision.

"I'm gonna get an X-rey done. It'll help us rule out different diseases until we can isolate the problem. Nathan, how's the pain doing?"

"Good, Dr. M. Whatever they gave me…gave me for…for fever…sleepy…" Nathan managed to get out.

"Okay. I'll go talk to the nurse and I'll see you in a few minutes, buddy. Try to get some sleep." Dr. Michelin patted his leg softly, using his eyes to communicate with Keith that he needed to talk to him outside. Keith gave his nephew a warm smile before heading out with the doctor.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm going to call Dr. Jefferson Clyde in. He's an orthopedic oncologist. He'll look at the 'bump', probably take a needle biopsy," Dr. Michelin explained softly.

"Oncologist….like…cancer?"

"We can't be sure, Keith, but we can't rule it out. He has a lot of the symptoms for it…an X-rey and the biopsy will determine what it is. It could be benign…but, given Nathan's luck, probably not…"

"What…what happens if it is cancer?"

"Let's take it one step at a time, Keith. Keeping him calm is the main goal right now. First I'll get the X-rey done; if it is a tumor, I'll call Dr. Clyde…he specializes in pediatric oncology…bone cancers in children and teenagers. Don't worry, Keith, we know nothing yet," Michelin assured the worry uncle, giving him a smile. "He's in great hands here…remember that."

**11001100**

Nathan hated the smell of hospitals. The antheseptic was usually too much for him to handle…it was too clean smelling. This was the realization that dawned on him as he was being wheeled back into his room after the X-reys. Considering he was still a little loopy from the drugs they had given him already, he figured that that thought was good reasoning. He didn't remember all of what Dr. M had said as he stayed with Nathan as he was being wheeled to X-rey, but he was pretty sure it was something about not being worried and alarmed.

Now, as he was pushed back into his room, helped back onto his bed, he was met with the somber faces of his family. He wondered why they all looked so worried at him.

"Merry Christmas, baby," Karen whispered, the first one to speak, kissing his forehead as she reached out and put a present on the bed beside him. He smiled, opening it, his face shining in delight when he saw the collection of rap CDs that he had really wanted.

"Thank you," he mumbled, his voice scratchy and horse.

"You're welcome. Keith and I also have a gift for both you and Lucas. Do you want to open it?"

"Let Lucas…I'm tired."

"Okay, buddy. Luke, you get to do the grand honors-" she handed him the package, and he quickly tore the paper apart, grinning madly at his younger brother before opening the box.

"Tarheels' tickets?"

"Season passes for next year," Karen answered, giving him a smile. "Do you like them?"

"This is great, mom," Lucas said excitedly, jumping up and down as he hugged her, showing the tickets to Nathan, who smiled happily.

"Thank you, Karen." he said quietly, his response cut short as the doctor came in, a big manila folder under his arm. "Good news?"

The doctor put the X-reys up on a portable viewing slide, turning on the light. They could all see the seemingly rounded space going into the bone, poking out into the skin. "This is Nathan's tibia. As you can all see, there is a mass that is forming the bump on his skin."

"Mass?" Karen asked, her hand resting on Nathan's shoulder.

"A tumor. But, I'm not sure if it's benign or not, so I called Dr. Clyde, an orthopedic oncologist, and he'll be in in like an hour to explain the biopsy procedure. The biopsy will determine if the tumor is benign or malignant. We need to all take this one step at a time, okay? There's no cause for alarm right now. Most tumors like these are benign, but there's always the risk that it isn't."

"Tumor?" Nathan finally spoke, trying to keep the indifferent façade on his face. "Like…Cancer?"

"I don't know right now, Nathan. Dr. Clyde's good at what he does…he'll be able to determine this quickly, and we'll go from his conclusion," Doctor Michelin tried to calm his young patient. "Nate, it's not so bad…"

"I could have cancer? Isn't all this enough? My parents died…my arm and chest were tore up in a car accident…and now I could have cancer?" He looked at Keith, tears in his eyes. "When is it going to stop? When?"


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: i DON'T OWN OTH. IF I DID, I'D BE RICH...IF ONLY I DID**

**Chapter Ten: Spinning Madly Out of This World**

Haley opened the door to Nathan's hospital room, biting her lip and sighing when she saw the empty bed. "Lucas," she murmured, tapping her best friend on the shoulder. "Luke, wake up." She watched her best friend groan, eyes blinking before he looked up. "Hey, stranger."

"Hey, Hales. I'm glad you could come," Lucas answered, hugging her tight. "Nathan will be glad to see you."

"How is he?"

"They took him up to go get a biopsy done on the tumor on his shin." Haley shuddered inwardly at the word 'tumor'. She didn't want to think about what that could possibly mean. It could mean cancer…death… "But that was like an hour ago…he should be back soon."

"How's he holding up?"

"He's been better, but dammit, look at what he's going through…of course he could be better. He broke down a little while ago, but since then, he's been okay. I guess it's probably the drugs that make him not realize that this is bad," Lucas said quietly, looking up at her.

She sat beside him, giving him a hug. "But, maybe he does realize how bad this is. Nathan's smart, Luke; even if he can't quite comprehend what's going on, he realizes that it's bad. He realizes from the looks in every bodies' eyes, he realizes it from how Keith and Karen are acting with him-how you are acting with him- and he knows it's not good. But better he be happy than down about something he can't prevent."

"I know, but still…" Lucas' voice was cut off as the door to the room opened and Nathan was wheeled back in. Haley's face lit up when she saw him, and she smiled excitedly. She waited for the orderlies to leave before going up to his bed, kissing his forehead.

"Hey you, wake up," Haley whispered in his ear, her hair falling to create a cocoon around their faces. He smirked at her, opening his eyes lazily.

"Hey, you," he said hoarsely, his blue eyes latching onto her brown ones as his hand found hers. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. What did they do to you?" she asked, her hands inspecting his chest, arms, face for any harm.

"I'm not…I'm not really that sure," he responded, his hand grabbing hers' once again. "My leg…it's numb…it's funny cause I think if I tell brooke she'll like paint my toenails or something…"

"Oooh, remind me to tell her that you're here, utterly incapacitated. She'll love it," Haley said, raising her eyebrows at him, making him laugh. "In fact, Lucas, maybe you should go call her. And leave us. Alone." Her meaning was clear: she wanted to spend some time with her boyfriend.

"Okay, I get the point. I'm leaving, I'm leaving," Lucas said, giving his brother a smile. "I'll see you later; Haley, please, please, please don't wear him out too much."

"Oh, how funny you are," Haley sneered as her best friend left. She leaned down, capturing his lips. His hands ran through her hair, trying to memorize every strand as if he might not see it ever again. She gently nipped his bottom lip, then his top, finishing with a soft, gentle kiss as she pulled away from him, her hands continuing to rub his forearms. "So, you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah. You know, I've been better, but I've certainly felt worse…that is, until I hear my diagnosis. Then I can be the one to freak out."

"You'll be fine."

"You have a lot of belief in my health, which hasn't exactly been stellar in the past couple of months."

"But I have to believe that you'll be okay," she whispered, her forehead against his. "Because I know you will be."

"Haley, there's a good chance that I won't," Nathan said, his eyes staring out the window of his room.

"But you never know, okay? You could be perfectly healthy, Nathan Scott-"

"But I don't feel healthy. And that's the problem." His voice was soft, his eyes not watching hers.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do if you find out you have something?" she asked quietly, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Not really. I don't want to think about it, Hales. I don't want to have anything, but I know I do."

"You know I'll be here every day for you, right? I'm not just gonna leave you alone." Her hand never stopped tracing his forearm, and her eyes cast downward, watching her hand. He pulled his arm away, instantly capturing her hand in his own, forcing her to look up at him.

"I'm not scared, Haley. And you know why? Because I know I'll have you here with me, fighting for me, fighting this with me. So I'm not scared…I'm not gonna be scared," he admitted, watching her tears trail down her face. "Don't cry," he said, half-laughing, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "Please don't cry…"

"Happy tears, Nathan, they're all happy tears," she responded, leaning in to kiss him. "Always happy tears when I'm around you."

11001100

"Are you positive?" Keith asked Doctor Michelin, his eyes on the door to Nathan's room.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Mr. Scott. Do you want me to go tell him?" Michelin offered, also looking at the door, letting out a breath. "I can go tell him-"

"No, I will. He needs to hear from someone who loves him," Keith answered grimly, opening the door to Nathan's room, setting his face. Nathan was asleep, Haley sitting in the chair beside the bed, holding on to his hand. "Hi, Haley."

"Hey, Keith. He just went to sleep…"

Keith nodded his head, trying to keep back the tears as he took the chair that Haley had left. "Nathan? Nathan, buddy, wake up." He gently pushed the boy's shoulder, feeling his tears…feeling them practically fall.

"Keith?" Nathan whispered, opening his eyes. Keith gave him a minute to focus. "Oh God."

"Yeah," Keith responded, giving him his best attempt at a comforting smile. "They got the biopsy results back. The tumor's malignant."

"Ma-Malignant?"

"You have bone cancer, Nathan," Keith replied gently, watching his nephew look out the window, a single tear trailing down his cheek before he turned back to his uncle.

"Do they know what kind?" he asked, looking up at Dr. Michelin, who had stepped forward.

"Not yet. We need to do a couple more tests-blood tests, and a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. Those will help us limit this cancer down to what it is, and it help us determine if it has spread or if it is still contained within the tumor on your shin," Dr. Michelin explained.

"Okay. So what are my options afterwards?"

"Most likely chemotherapy and surgery to remove the primary tumor. Dr. Clyde will explain those further once we're certain of the diagnosis."

"When are you gonna do the tests?"

"There's a nurse coming up to draw some blood, and Dr. Clyde will do the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy later today…probably near lunchtime. You know, you're awfully calm for some kid who's just been told he has cancer."

"I was expecting it," Nathan answered truthfully, shrugging. "How could I not knowing my luck?"

Keith smiled, giving his nephew a pat on the shoulder. "Go back to sleep, buddy, okay?"

Nathan nodded, his head resting against his pillow, his body trying to turn underneath him. Today was going to be another long day of waiting as his world spun out of control.

11001100

"Whitey?" Lucas called, entering the locker room. Today was their first day back to school, and the whole population noticed that Nathan wasn't here. No one had been told that he was in the hospital again, this time trying to fight an enemy that was growing inside him. "Whitey?"

"Yeah?" The gruff voice called back from the office, and Lucas smiled a little as he walked toward the office. "Lucas, practice isn't until I_after_/I school today."

"I know. I wanted to talk to you about Nathan," Lucas explained, sitting in the chair across from Whitey's desk.

"What about Nathan?" the old coach asked, looking up, his eyes on Luke.

"Nathan's not gonna be able to play for the rest of the season, Whitey. He has cancer." He was blunt-not by choice-but simply because he didn't know any other way to say it.

"Cancer?"

"Yes, sir. He went to the hospital on Christmas, and since thenn, they've been trying to figure out what kind of cancer he has. They know it's a bone cancer, but it's been hell trying to determine which one."

"And how's he holding up?" Whitey asked, taking in the news at an arms' length. The kid had cancer…how was he supposed to be doing?

"Surprisingly well. He refuses to be weak during this. He doesn't want anyone to know, and when they do know, he doesn't want anyone to believe it," Luke answered, fidgeting. "But he wanted me to tell you why he wasn't here…why he wasn't gonna be here."

"Okay. Tell him I'm thinking about him. Are you heading off?"

"Yeah. I want to be there when they get the final results in. I won't be at practice today, either."

"That's fine. Give Nathan my best."

"I will. Bye, Coach."

Nathan starred at his father's wedding ring, biting his bottom lip as he twisted it in the sun, watching the rays catch the tarnished gold and shine off them. He had been able to go home after the blood tests and biopsy, partly because it'd be a day or so before they got the results, and partly because he was sick of spending time in hospital.

"Nathan?" He looked up at Karen, giving her a slight smile as he put the ring on his bedside table. "You feel up to having some dinner?"

"Not really," he replied truthfully. "I threw the crap they gave me at the hospital, and my stomach feels like it's about to dump whatever else is in it." He gave her a heartfelt smile. "Thank you, though…"

"Are you worried?"

"Not much…" he replied sarcastically. "Worried to death."

"Cancer might do that to you. You realize it's okay to be scared every so often, right? Because I know I would be scared when it came to this," Karen admitted, sitting beside him on the bed.

"I'm not scared, Karen. I haven't ever been scared to die…I've come too close too many times…I tried suicide, I've been in an accident…death just doesn't scare me anymore. But I don't want to live my in fear that one day it could come back…I don't want to slowly kill myself that way. So I don't let this scare me….I just can't."

"You're brave, Nathan, more brave than a lot of grown adults I know."

"I'm not brave, Karen-I'm doing what any kid would do-I'm coping."

"Well, then you cope better than most grown adults," Karen amended, hugging him tight. "Doctor Michelin says he should have the results tomorrow morning, so we'll head up there tomorrow and find out, okay?"

"Fine with me. Not like there's anywhere else I've got to be," Nathan said ruefully, smiling up at her.

"Okay. You try to get some sleep, and if you hurl, don't do it on my bed." Nathan laughed, laying back down, shaking his head.

Sleep came easy that night; he wasn't sure if it was the drugs, which caused the lack of nightmares, or if it was the comfort that he had his whole family's support during this struggle.

11001100

"Nathan, Nate, wake up," Haley said, jumping on his bed beside him, jolting him up. She laughed at his shocked face, giving him her most radiant smile. "Morning, baby."

"Morning, Hales," he groaned, sitting up with pained, aching movements. "What time is it?"

"Seven. You have to be at the doctor's by eight, remember?"

Nathan nodded, putting his feet on the ground. He winced in pain, his hands clinching, his breath erratic.

"Nathan? Nathan!" Haley screamed as he wouldn't respond, pain running over his body. "Nathan!" She couldn't help but scream as he sat there, frozen, his breath coming out in short puffs.

"Haley, what's wrong?" Lucas asked as he skidded in, followed by Keith.

"He…He just stopped moving…stopped talking…."

"Okay. There is a bottle of pain pills on top of his dresser, Hales…go get two of those. He'll be okay, buddy…he does this when he's in pain." Haley nodded incoherently, thinking of those pills. She found them rather quickly, running back to the bed, where Keith held Nathan to his chest to prevent his shaking, running a soothing hand down his arm. Lucas forced the pills into his mouth, gently coaxing them down.

Soon, Nathan had stopped moving, instead calming down enough to be released from his Uncle's grasp. "What happened?" he asked in a whisper, rubbing his temples.

"You just freaked," Haley remarked, sitting beside him on the bed. "Scared the hell out of me."

"Oh…"

"What happened?" Keith asked, this sudden episode scaring him.

"Hell if I know…but my leg's numb, Keith."

"It's numb?"

"I can't feel it."

"Oh God…"

"I just need some help to the bathroom…"

"Of course. Haley, why don't you go help Karen with breakfast. Lucas, you help Nathan and I'll get you some clothes, okay, Nate?" Nathan nodded, biting his lip and he pushed himself up with the muscles of his arms, his brother catching him as soon as he was up so he didn't have to worry about balancing himself.

11001100

"It's called Ewing's Sarcoma, Nathan. It's a bone cancer…about 3 of all children and young adults in this country with cancer have Ewing's Sarcoma. Out of that many, about 10 have it start in their tibia, like yours' did," Dr Michelin explained as he handed Nathan and Keith and Karen a paper about the cancer. "It spreads quickly, but, prolonged diagnosis really hasn't been shown to affect how we have to treat it."

"How…how do we have to treat it?" Nathan asked, looking over the paper, then at the tumor, hidden by black sweats.

"Um, I've talked it over with Dr. Clyde, and he's gonna take over your treatment. I'll still be your general physician, which means I'll make sure you're okay during chemo and all that, but he's going to get you through treatment. He'll be in in about five minutes to explain your options, but they'll most likely include chemotherapy for a couple of days to shrink the tumor in your skin and then surgery to remove it, followed by probably 4-6 months of chemo twice a week or so."

"I'm gonna loose my hair, aren't I?" Nathan asked with a sad smile.

"Yeah, all that primping you've done gone to waste," Lucas answered good-heartedly, smirking, making Nathan laugh. It felt good to hear him laugh like that in lieu of the bad news.

"Yeah. But, what can I say, I go googly-eyed over bald guys," Haley admitted, kissing his cheek. The good-natured joking was interrupted by the arrival of the orthopedic oncologist, who introduced himself to Karen and Keith, and, finally Nathan.

"So, I want you to know, this isn't the end of the world, it isn't gonna kill you now and it probably ain't gonna kill you later," Dr. Clyde started off with. Nathan liked him almost immediately. "However, if you don't treat it, it will. Has doctor Michelin gone over treatment options yet?"

"Not really," Nathan answered. "He said chemo, and surgery-"

"Which are your best options. I'm not really comfortable with telling you that either can cure your cancer 100 percent. Together, I think they can, but not alone. Radiation I wouldn't recommend…the chemo/surgery combo works more than the chemo/radiation combo in my opinion…"

"I'd rather have you open me up than shoot lasers through me," Nathan answered truthfully.

"Okay. So, then, I want to admit you to the hospital for a week of daily chemo…you're probably gonna get sick, nauseas, it's gonna be uncomfortable, but the treatment will shrink the primary cells…the tumor on your shin, basically. After this week, I'll perform surgery to remove those tumors, and most likely part of your bone, which will be replaced with titanium rods and have bone grafted over it, and then you'll start regular chemo treatments…probably two to three times a week for a couple of months. If you go into remission, for the first two years you'll have to have regular check ups every couple months…after that every six months, and finally once a year. I know this is a lot to take in-"

"Not really, Dr. Clyde. It's not that hard to grasp…chemo, surgery, chemo again. My question is, will I be in remission in time to start playing basketball again next year? It's my senior year….I've skipped out on most of the season this year, and next years my last chance to impress the scouts…"

"If everything goes as planned, then yes, you will. After the surgery, you'll have to have physical therapy in order to help you work your leg again…and if any other tumors are found, we'll remove those, as well. First, I'd like to schedule a MRI on your leg, then we'll get X-reys to see if the cancer has spread…is that okay with you?"

"I guess. It really doesn't matter if that's all right…if I want to live, it'll have to be all right, won't it?"


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: Own OTH? Pssh...the thought...I wish...**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: SOME OF THE MEDICAL TERMS COULD BE WRONG. I AM A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL, NOT A FOURTH YEAR MEDICAL STUDENT!**

**Chapter Eleven: Never Leaving You**

Surgery day-that's what today was, Nathan remembered as he fought the grogginess of the sedative, trying to remember. He saw the nurse above him, watching the machines around him. They were removing the tumor on his shin today, as well as a newly discovered clustered on his spine. Chemo had made him sick over the past week, but it would all be worth it if he could get rid of this stuff.

"Nathan, do you want to see your uncle and aunt and brother before you go into surgery?" she asked gently, giving him a smile. He nodded, or he thought he did, trying to keep his eyes open as he saw shadows surround him.

"Nate? Hey, baby," Karen said, kissing his forehead. "We'll be right here when you get out, okay?"

"Okaaaaaayyyy, Karwen," Nathan slurred, his vision getting foggy.

"Excuse me, folks, but we have to take him into surgery now," the nurse explained gently, letting Keith kiss his forehead and Lucas squeeze him hand before the rails of the gurney went up and he was taken away. The room he was taken to was oddly cold, and there was equipment all around that he didn't know or understand what they were going to do…

"Nathan, you remember me?" a man asked, helping get the paper cap thing over his head. "I'm Doctor Elron, the anesthesiologist." Nathan squinted his eyes, staring up at him.

"Can you count back from 100 for me?"

"A hundred…ninety-nine…ninety….ninety eight….ninety-seven……..ni….ninety….ninety….." His eyes closed as his memories began fogging over, bringing him into a peaceful, dreamy state.

11001100

In the waiting room for the OR, Keith and Karen were talking with Nathan's social worker. Royal had given up his fight for custody, this cancer-thing making him realize how much Nathan need Keith and Karen at the moment. "So, we've gone over everything, and you've passed all your reviews with flying colors and you've received excellent recommendations," the case worker had been explaining the outcome of all their many reviews and classes for the past two hours. "So, now we'll begin the paperwork, and a judge will see the case on Monday-" Today was Friday- "and hopefully he'll sign all the papers then. Since Nathan will probably still be in the hospital, we'll probably get him, your lawyer and the clerk to come up here."

"Okay-" Keith stopped talking as Dr. Clyde came out in blue scrubs, pushing his paper mask down. "Excuse us." He stood up, taking Karen's hand as they met the doctor.

"Don't worry, he's fine," Dr. Clyde started off with, smiling a little. "They'll be taking him to the ICU for recovery. We're pretty sure we removed all of the tumors from his shin and spine, but an X-rey will tell us exactly."

"Good. That's really good, right?"

"Yeah."

"How…how soon can we see him?"

"Um, if you want to come with me now, you can see him as soon as they get him into his room."

"Lucas, will you be okay staying here…"

"He can come, as well. But not for too long-Nathan's really tired and he needs his rest."

"Of course. Just tell us when we need to leave," Keith answered as the small family followed the doctor to the ICU wing.

"He's still very groggy from the drugs, but as time goes on, that'll wear off. His nurse will explain more about how they'll take care of him while he's here and about visiting hours and the medicines if you have any questions about those." Dr. Clyde gave them a sympathetic smile. "He's doing well, Mr. And Mrs. Scott, you don't need to worry about that. I get the feeling he knows exactly how to take care of himself with this; you just need to keep up his spirits and let him know there is a light at the end of the tunnel."

"We know, but it's still hard."

"You're his guardians, correct?" Dr. Clyde probed.

"Yeah. His parents died about three months ago or so. I'm his Uncle," Keith explained. "He got in a really bad accident then, too, so we've probably spent at least a month altogether in the hospital, so you can see why we worry."

"I can. An accident-"

"Car accident. He totaled his car, he hurt his arm really bad."

"Well, this we have a little bit more control over. They ought to be moved in now, so what do you say we go in there?" Keith and Karen nodded, and Dr. Clyde pushed open the door. The room smelt sterile, and Karen smiled slightly, knowing that the room was taken care of for people such as Nathan, who needed the cleanest environment possible.

"See, Mr. & Mrs. Scott, I promise I didn't cut him into pieces," Dr. Clyde joked, showing them to the bed, where Nathan was lying under blankets, a nurse talking soothingly to him as she wrote on his chart.

"Hey, buddy," Keith whispered, gently touching his nephew's arm. "You did great in there."

"Did-" his voice was so tired, so faint, but at least it was there. "Did…get…did…get..all.."

"Yeah, Nate," Keith reassured his nephew giving him a smile. "They think they got all of it. They're gonna do an X-rey to make sure. But that's later. Right now, you don't worry about that."

"Tired," Nathan whimpered, one hand fisting the blanket.

"I bet you are, buddy. You've had a tough day."

"Mr. Scott, I think it's time for you to leave, okay?" the nurse said, gently placing a hand on Keith's arm. "Please say your goodbyes."

"How often can we visit?"

"I'll come get you as soon as he wakes up again. If does well today and tonight, he'll probably be moved into a private room tomorrow and you can stay with him as long as you want," the nurse explained. "Nathan, you want to say good bye to these guys before you go to sleep, honey?"

He opened his eyes lazily again, glassed-over in pain and confusion. Karen smiled at him ruefully, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Night, baby boy. Sleep well."

Keith gave him a soft smile, ruffling his shorn hair gently. "Get some rest, Nate. We'll be here when you wake up."

11001100

"So, that's my leg?" Keith could hear Nathan's voice from down the hall as he made his way to his nephew's room.

"Yes. Do you see where the tumor was?"

"Yeah…on my shin."

"So, do you see the two rods we put in your leg?" Dr. Clyde's voice was smooth and encouraging, teaching Nathan.

"Yeah. How did you put those in?"

"Their drilled through your tibia, secured with pins at your knee joint and at your ankle. They'll eventually have bone formed or graphed around them." Keith reached the room just as Nathan looked down at the brace made of four iron rods around his lower leg, secured above his knee and his ankle. "You'll have to have a couple of weeks of PT to help mobility, but your leg should be normal in a couple of months."

"Okay…" Nathan looked up as Keith came in, giving his guardian a warm smile. "Hey, Keith. We were just going over my surgerical procedures and evaluating what they did and if they were successful."

"I.E. Nathan's still doped up on pain meds and wants to know what happens before his brain can comprehend it," Dr. Clyde translated, giving Keith a small smile. "I was just about to tell him that the surgery to remove the tumors on his spine was also successful. We had to do no reconstruction because there was only a very minute part of his vertebrae effected by the tumor."

"Everything's going good, then?" Keith asked uncertainly, watching Nathan nod happily.

"Everything's super-duper okay!" the teen said excitedly, making Keith snort out a laugh and look at him.

"What the hell did you put in the poor kid's pain meds?"

"I don't know…I'll have to check with the nurses," Dr. Clyde chuckled, patting Nathan's shoulder. "I should let him visit with you . Tomorrow he's got his follow up X-reys and some tests and we'll start his chemo tomorrow, so enjoy his happiness…he'll probably be miserable tomorrow."

"Great. Thank you , Dr. Clyde, for all you've done for him-"

"Of course. I just hope it all works out in the end," the doctor replied, waving goodbye to Nathan before leaving the room.

They were going to take Nathan home for his chemo treatments, figuring better he be miserable in the comfort of his own room than at the sterile, unemotional hospital. Nathan had promised them that he'd still be going to school, too, but Karen had already rearranged the café so that he'd have a little place in the back to stay.

"So, I talked to Whitey today and he said if you're feeling up to it, we oughta try to make this week's basketball game. What do they got planned for you, buddy?" Keith asked as he sat by Nathan's bed, watching Nathan flip through the channels on the TV. "Anything interesting?"

"Not really. They have reruns of SportsCenter on ESPN, but they're old," Nathan answered back wryly, putting the remote back on the small tray beside his bed.

"How long have you been up?"

"I don't know…since this morning. They shoveled some nasty-ass food they call breakfast in me, but I threw it up, so we settled on semi-liquid foods for lunch…most of it stayed down," Nathan spewed out, looking up at Keith. "I think they gave me more sleeping pills…"

"It's so you sleep through the night," Keith explained as there was another knock on the wall outside the open door and Haley stepped in. "Great timing, Haley. I'm gonna go to the cafeteria-no hanky panky while I'm gone, okay?"

Haley nodded, walking over to Nathan's bed. She sat on the edge of it, one hand resting lightly on his chest, her short legs swinging, her other hand running through his hair.

"Hey, gorgeous," she whispered playfully, leaning in to kiss him softly on his lips. "You look beautiful, as usual."

"Shot to my pride, Haley," he muttered, looking down, melancholy, before grinning back up to her. "Every guy wants to hear he's beautiful."

"Well, you're also incredibly sexy, but I wanted to see if you being doped up effected your memory or anything like that," she answered with a dazzling smile, causing him to pull her back down to him. Their lips melded together, and she felt his tongue softly trace the outline of her lips before finding her mouth.

She now knew she could die in the ecstasy of his kisses. He was skilled, that much was obvious. She'd rather not think too much about that…about those past girlfriends. She was what he wanted now. She smiled as she pulled away, turning to lay beside him on his bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Numb," he answered truthfully, taking her hand in his own. "Everything's numb, which is good…there's no pain."

"That's good," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly, resting their hands against his heart. "Are you scared about tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure right now," he said, looking into her eyes. "Do you think I'll be okay?"

"I think you'll be just fine," she replied, leaning in to kiss him. "In fact, I know you will. When are you coming home?"

"After my chemo tomorrow," he answered, nuzzling into her shoulder. "I'll be at school the next day."

"Are you sure that's not too soon, Nate? You'll be sick a lot-"

"Maybe. Those are side effects, and Dr. C. said that the side effects are different on every person."  
"But you know from the week before the surgery that chemo makes you sick-"

"Haley, I need to do this. I need to be normal, to attempt it so that this all doesn't seem so screwed up," Nathan said, his eyes pleading with her.

"You are normal, Nathan. I don't know who's been feeding you the bull shit, but you are normal." She kissed him softly, resting her head on his shoulder. "How are they doing your chemo?"

"I get an IV of some and then their shooting some into my spine, I think, to get rid of what's there. Karen's gonna be with me for that, cause they said it'll probably hurt like hell."

"Mmm, I can imagine, cause I'd sure love a needle sticking in my spine," Haley answered with a laugh as a nurse came in, eyeing the two critically. "I'm…gonna go…bitch monster of death's eyeing me."

"Fun. I'll call you tomorrow when I get home, tell you how it goes," Nathan said, wishing she didn't have to leave. She took all the pain away.

11001100

Nathan twisted in his bed as the night wore on. All visitors were gone, and the night nurse, or the BMD, had threatened to give him a sedative if he wouldn't stop annoying her. He couldn't stop thinking about the chemo..about all those names…Alkylating agents, plant alkaloids, antitumor antibiotics, antimetabolites, topoisomerase inhibitors, antineoplastics…all those names had scared him, because he didn't know what they were.

"What are you still doing up?" Dr. Clyde asked, coming into Nathan's darkened room. "You should be asleep."

"I'm scared now," Nathan whispered, looking at the doctor. "Shouldn't you be off?"

"On my way out. You're scared of the chemo?'

Nathan nodded, embarrassed. "Not exactly the chemo. What…how you're gonna do it. You used such big words, and they went in one side and out the other-"

"Okay…it's okay. So tomorrow, there are two types of chemo treatments you're getting. First is going to be what we call the Lumbar Procedure…basically, it's a spinal tap, and we'll inject you're chemo treatment through it. Then, you're getting an IV chemo treatment. After that, we'll bundle you up and let you go home to sleep off the minor sedative you'll get after your treatment. You'll come back on Saturday for your next round in lieu of any problems. If you push yourself, you will suffer consequences. I know you want to be normal during this, but I don't know if it's the right time right when you're fragile."

"Thanks, Dr. C. I'm sleepy now…I feel better."

"Get some rest, buddy. I'll see you tomorrow," Dr. C. said affectionately, patting Nathan's shoulder. Nathan smiled, finally being able to get some rest.

11001100

"Easy, Nate," Karen whispered to her nephew as he gripped her hand, his body automatically wanting to wince as the nurse pushed the needle into his back deeper. His body was dulled only by the pain meds he had been given the night before. He gasped as the needle finally hit its destination.

"Nathan, you're doing so good. Just give me a couple more minutes to put the treatment in, and then you'll be done with this chemo. Around one, we'll give you your IV treatment, okay?" the nurse explained, slowly pushing the back of the needle, injecting the chemo. Nathan nodded a little bit, stretching the muscles in his back as the nurse slowly took the needle out. He felt the nurse put the gauze over the small hole, taping it down. The nurse and Karen helped him to his wheelchair, even though he wanted to walk-he would have given anything to walk back to his room.

Karen watched the struggles going through her son's head, smiling softly, wishing she could help. But Nathan had to do this by himself, he had to be independent on his own, he had to try and succeed on his own before anyone could help.

At three, Nathan watched as Karen signed the last discharge paper. He was feeling okay, though he could feel the queasiness the chemo was starting to cause. His hand was shaking, he noticed, and he quickly put it on his leg, stilling it.

"Nate, you ready to go?" Karen asked, looking over at the teen. He sighed, smiling as he looked up at her. He had already been through physical therapy for his leg, and though he had to use a crutch, he was able to get around all right.

"Do you think I wanna stay any longer?" Nathan asked, smirking. "Let's go home, Karen."


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOT OTH.**

**Thank you all for your reviews! This is an exciting chapter...don't kill me for it...**

**Chapter Twelve: Worry Into the Night**

Nathan leaned over the toilet bowl, hand tightening on the porcelin as the contents of his stomach kept coming up. He had had a chemo treatment earlier in the day, and the effects were just now starting to wear on him, making his body ache and his mind reel. He felt his stomach clinch as the vomiting stopped, his body drained. He sat, his back against the wall in front of the toilet, putting his head in his hands, tasting that unsavory flavor of vomit and spit in his mouth.

He heard footsteps in the hall, and he sighed, looking up as his brother came into the bathroom. "You okay?" Lucas asked, looking at his younger brother, his heart reaching out to him.

"Yeah. You know, every time I puke, I don't need you hovering over me, Luke. I'm not a little kid…I know what I'm doing," Nathan snapped, refusing to look at his brother.

"I worry, okay, Nate…"

"Well, you don't need to. Dr. C. said I'm doing fine…so did Dr. Michelin. Throwing up-normal reaction to chemo…and I get double the dose…it's expected. I'll call you if I need you…you know that…I haven't not called you if I start puking blood…"

"Okay….I guess I can back off-"

"Please and thank-you," Nathan answered, watching his brother leave. He drew his knees up to his chest, resting his pounding head on them. He took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he lifted his head up, staring at the medical bracelet Dr. C. wanted him to where, saying that he was a cancer patient undergoing treatment. He hated that bracelet…it made him feel that he was dependent on others, that he couldn't take care of himself.

Slowly, he stood up, looking away when he noticed his hand shaking. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted to think that he was immune to all this, that it couldn't affect him like he knew it could. He was so sick of everyone treating him like he was different; Lucas thought he was a fragile doll, Keith thought he was in need of a good therapist, even Haley sometimes treated him like he might break. Karen was the only one who treated him…just normally.

"Nathan, honey, dinner's ready if you feel like coming to eat," she said at his door. She knew he probably wouldn't be out; he didn't eat when his stomach was upset. He'd probably go to the kitchen late at night and make himself some soup or something soft, easy on his stomach. By now, he knew what he could eat after the effects of his chemo and what still gave his stomach problems.

She heard Nathan say okay and turned from his door, looking at Keith in the hall. "See, honey, I told you he could take care of himself," she said to him, standing beside him, looking at the picture Whitey had given them that one of the sports photographers had taken. It was at the championship game last year, Nathan having made a dunk to win the game. Beside his picture was one of Luke, at a playoff game earlier this year, making a half court game-winning shot. "You've got to learn to let him have some room to breathe. He hates it when you hover…you make him feel inferior to others…and he doesn't want that."

"Is he coming to dinner?"

"Probably not. He just threw up…he's sick to his stomach and doesn't want to end up puking again tonight…so just leave him be."

"How can you not worry?" Keith asked her, kissing her forehead.

"He's seventeen. He knows his limits. That's why I don't worry."

11001100

Haley looked at the clock on the wall of the tutor center, wondering how much longer her patience could stand to wait on this guy. Some football player bordering the failing line in English, Math, and History, she thought, hearing the door open. She was surprised with a thin, scrawny guy making his way toward her. "You're late," she told him, opening his file. "Chris Keller. I'm Haley James, I'm your tutor…"

"How about you be my friend with benefit, too?" he asked, winking at her. She frowned slightly.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are, but know this: I do not sleep with scum. Especially not any as low as you," she snapped back, pushing him away from her. "And I control your grade….piss me off and I will make it so you don't pass and get stuck back in your junior year for like, what, the tenth time?"

"Oooh, such a sting, princess."

"And don't call me princess, Jackass," she returned, looking at the clock. "You were late, I have to go now. Next time, if you want tutoring, make sure you arrive on time…that'd be third period. " She stood up, walking away from the stunned guy. "Nathan?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as she looked at the two brothers walking down the hall. The two boys turned around, her boyfriend grinning at her nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"I got bored. Didn't puke any last night, promised not to eat any of the gross school food, so I…I'm at school today," he said, shrugging, biting his lip and tugging absentmindedly on his medical bracelet. It was then he had noticed Lucas had left him, standing alone with his girlfriend in the emptying hallway as people hurried on to class. "I've missed you."

"Aww, I've missed you too, Honey buns," she said sarcastically, pinching his cheek. She soon found his hand on hers, caressing it gently, his eyes watching her. "Nate, we're in a hallway-" Her voice was lost in their kiss, and she shivered as he ran his hands through her hair.

"So is this the studdly-fuddly who has stolen the fair lady's heart?" a stinging voice asked from behind her, and she pushed Nathan away, turning to look at Chris.

"No, you asshole, this is the boyfriend that will put your foot up your ass and knock you from here to China," she snapped, turning back to Nathan. "Walk me to class?"

"Sure," he answered, glaring at the scrawny pathetic boy. "Hey, and next time, dude, hit on some girl with half a brain that's like you."

Most people knew Nathan was sick-what other reason was there to explain his missed days but the truth? Most had been supportive, encouraging him in cards that were now sitting in his abandoned hospital room, or flowers now sitting in the Children's ward. He really didn't look like a teenaged cancer patient-yes, most of his hair was gone, though that was voluntary, and he was paler than usual, he still was strong, still the tall, darkly handsome, angst ridden Nathan that had half the girls at school swooning.

By eleven, though, he felt like crap. His head was pounding, his muscles sore and weak, and he had spent the last thirty minutes in the bathroom, head over the toilet, wondering what in the hell had possessed him to come to school. The nurse had called Karen to come get him or give him something to take. He flushed the toilet, sitting back on his heels.

"Nathan, why don't you go get your stuff? I think Karen is going to take you home," the nurse said, helping him up. You did good with just going a half-day. Most cancer kids are home-schooled…it's more conventional for them."

"I'd rather be normal than conventional," Nathan said sharply, standing up. "I'm gonna go get my stuff."

"Okay, hun," the nurse said absentmindedly, filling out a report for him. He shook his head, walking out the door, down the hall to his locker. He made quick work of getting his books, wanting to visit Haley in the tutor center to tell her he had to leave.

He stopped short of the tutor center doors, hearing her inside with someone. He weighed his decision: going in there and potentially making her mad that he had interrupted the session, or not going to say goodbye and having her call the house, angry at him for not telling her goodbye…he'd take the first one, any day.

He pushed open the door slightly letting it slowly open to reveal more and more of the room. She wasn't in there, but he saw the door opened to the library. He smiled, following the lingering trail of her perfume to the stacks. His smile turned to an instant frown, his face falling, his heart breaking so quickly it seemed.

She was kissing him…

That jackass from this morning.

**She was kissing him!**

He turned on his heels, trying to push the tears out of his eyes with one hand, the other trembling too much to be of any use. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his body down, his mind…

"_Mom? Dad!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the walls of the house. He stumbled over something in the hall, and a string of curse words hit his throat as he hit the floor. He reached a hand up, fumbling with the lamp light as he realized that a sticky substance covered his hands. He looked at them, gasping as red pervaded his hands.  
_

_Blood.  
_

"_What the hell!" he yelled, jerking his head back to see what he tripped over. He gasped and his eyes widened in disbelief. "M…Mom?" he whimpered, reaching back to touch her face-so warm to the touch- and gently close her blue eyes. _

"_M..mom…you…mom…no…can't….no, mom-" He quickly picked himself up, tears streaming down his face as he dared venture further into this massacre.  
"Dad?" he said, looking around. "DAD!"  
_

_And then he saw his father.  
_

_A perfect bullet hole in his skull.  
_

_And the gun resting in his lap._

He jerked away when he ran into the table where all Haley's stuff sat, and he heard the books crashing down to the ground. He pushed away from the table as he heard their feet, and he slammed open the door, running out. The ultimate betrayal…all the ultimate betrayal…

11001100

Haley pushed Chris away, her punch landing with a fierce _crack_ on his ugly nose. "Don' t you ever, ever do that again, you jerk! I'll scream sexual harassment, watch if I don't next time you _think_ about kissing me or touching me, you sick freak of a pervert!"

"C'mon, baby, you gotta admit you liked it…" Chris said, stepping closer, having noted before that the library door was locked when they came back in and that someone had absentmindedly closed the front door. She backed up, her eyes glaring at him.

"Dude, you touch me inappropriately, you'll be wishing you didn't come ten years from now when you want to have children," she threatened.

"Oh, but now it'll be oh-" he came closer, grabbing her wrist, "-so-" he whispered devilishly, "-sw-"

She brought her knee up with such force that it jolted him back, his face contorting in pain as he grabbed his crotch. "I told you-you do it again and there'd be pain."

"You bitch," Chris whispered, looking up, grabbing her wrist. "I was nice; I was cordial…enough of that."

Haley screamed. It was the only thing she could think of-screaming her lungs out to attract attention.

He backed away, either not expecting the scream or frightened he'd get caught. They both heard the door open, and she smiled, satisfied, as Luke came running.

"Hales, what happened?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her, noticing her frazzled appearance, such a diversion from her usually put-together self. "Why are you so…"

"That SOB tried to feel me up, Luke!" she whimpered, eyeing Chris wearily. "Luke-"

"You do know who her boyfriend is, right? And his connections. Lots of footballers-tall, big, powerfully football players…all who would so be willing to kick you ass right now for messing with her. I suggest you run." Lucas' voice was deep, barely there, each word filled with more venom toward Chris, who was looking a little green around the gills. "Now."

Chris took off, pushing past Lucas into the hall. He didn't want to die…those football players would kill him

One day he'd get his revenge.

11001100

Nathan sat on the couch at the café, his hands on his knees, head in his hands. He had asked Karen to leave him alone for awhile, and now he sat thinking…contemplating. He had cried for awhile, but decided that wasn't him…and neither was just forgiving her.

God, he wanted the whole world to go away. He didn't need Keith and Karen to take care of him…he didn't want them to anymore. He needed to get away…just get away from it all. To step away from the cancer, the treatment, pretend he was normal for a minute or two…he needed that.

"Sweetheart, it's time to go," Karen called as she turned off the lights behind the counter.

She heard him shuffle up, walk slowly toward the front room. "Honey, what's wrong today? You just seem so out of it."

"Sorry…I don't mean to be," he answered, his words deliberate, carefully thought over to be correct, to not give away his thoughts. "I just had a rough day."

"Okay…well, let's go home and I'll cook you something good…how does that sound?"

"Sounds good, Karen," he whispered, smiling as she hugged him. "Thank you."

"You don't ever have to thank me, buddy. So, what'll it be-tomato soup or chicken?"

"Tomato…less stuff to throw up if I do tonight."

"Good choice."

11001100

Nathan watched his window, his eyes glancing down every so often to look at his duffle bag and the contents inside. Clothes-check. Pain meds and anti-nausea medicine-check. Cash he had taken from the money left to him by his parents-check. He counted it one more time, making sure it was the $1000 he had taken from the bank earlier today.  
He pulled the strings tight on the bag, looking again at the rain outside. He wanted to back down, to not do this-and then he heard them. The hushed, quiet voices of Karen and Keith discussing _him_. It was always him who they talked about-never Lucas, never their wedding…always worrying over him-over whether he was feeling back or if they should think about admitting him to the hospital.

And then his mind turned to Haley. Gorgeous Haley-his Haley, or at least she was supposed to be. But no…that jerk…that jackass…he had taken her away from him…his solid rock, the one who kept him grounded, the one who made everyday worth going through…she was gone…

He opened his window, pushing on the screen, willing it to give. With the chemo, he had lost so much of his strength, and he wished he had it back now. He leaned his 6 foot 2 frame into the screen, hearing it pop and grind and finally give. He smiled, his first task accomplished, and went to get his duffle bag. With one final glance at his room…at his note sitting on the bed for Keith and Karen and Lucas, his posters, his plaques, his life….he was gone, out the window, on the road to wherever he might end up.

11001100

"Karen!"

She jolted up in bed, looking up in worry as she grabbed her robe, nearly falling out of bed as she ran toward Keith's voice. "What? What's wrong?"

"He's gone, Karen…" She looked at the note in Keith's hand, grabbing it as she turned on a hall light.

_Dear Keith, Karen, and Lucas, _

So, I'm gone if you're reading this. I don't to hurt you, any of you, and I love you all so much, but I can't destroy your family. I won't. You all spend too much time worrying about me…about my safety and my well being that you don't think about yourselves anymore. You don't think about your wedding, anymore, Keith and Karen, and Lucas…you have basketball…a state-championship to win.

_I don't want to hold any of you back anymore…not with my cancer, not with my chemo, not with my life…  
_

_And as to Haley, tell her I hope she's happy with her boy toy fling or whoever I saw her kissing. Make sure she knows that she broke my heart, and that she was the straw that broke the camel's back…  
_

_Please don't come looking for me. Don't waste your breath and time trying to find me…I won't be around. I think I've…I've given up, and I just…I just wanna die and not cause anyone any more trouble. _

I do love you all,

_Nathan_

Karen felt her breath hitch as she read the note, over and over again, especially the last part: _Don't waste your breath and time trying to find me…I won't be around. I think I've…I've given up, and I just…just wanna die and cause anyone any more trouble. _

I've given up…

She felt her knees give way as she sunk to the ground, sobs taking over. Keith looked into Nathan's darkened room, out the screen less window, letting his worry pervade into the night.


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OTH**

**Chapter Thirteen: It's not as bad as it could be**

"Keith? Detective Sedona is ready to see you," the receptionist told the tired parents, who looked up at her and nodded with weary enthusiasm, standing up to follow the receptionist to the desk.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott? Hi, I'm Detective Sedona. Jenny says your son took off?"

"Yeah…he's our adoptive son…he's my nephew…his father and mother died late last year."

"I read about that…Dan Scott. So, Nathan…just…ran?"

"He's been dealing with a lot, lately. He got into a car wreck when his parents died, and about a month and a half ago, we found out he had cancer. And everyone crowds around him…we try not to baby him, you know, because he hates it, but I guess it just…it just got too much for him. Plus, he thinks his girlfriend cheated on him when she didn't and he's really in love with her and as he put it in his letter, it was the straw that broke the camel's back."

"Did he take anything? Do you know what he was wearing?"

"Um…he took his pain meds and his anti-nausea meds-they helped with the chemo-um, some clothes…he took $1000 from the account that was set up for him from his parent's inheritance. I couldn't tell you what he was wearing-we all thought he'd gone to bed. He has on a medical ID bracelet, though," Keith answered, watching the detective fill out the paper work. "I don't…I don't want him to get in trouble…I just want him safe. He's on a strict chemo treatment-he can't miss it or it screws up everything-"

"When's his next treatment?"

"Tomorrow."

"Okay. We'll send all this information to all the precincts in North Carolina-we'll send it to hospitals within about a 150 mile radius-any shelters, and we'll also go to the press…media is great attention if you're trying to find a sick person-especially children. The public has a superhero mentality when it comes to children. Um, we'll start units looking out for him tomorrow…" Sedona answered, writing something else on the sheet.

"His medical ID bracelet…can you tell about it?"

"It's silver, I guess? Um, it just says that he's a cancer patient undergoing chemo and that he has severe side effects to the chemo. The doctor advised us to get it for him, so we did," Karen whispered.

"And his doctor?"

"Um, Dr. Jefferson Clyde. He's a pediatric oncologist-Nathan has Ewing's Sarcoma…it started on his leg and went to his spine…which is another thing-he's still recovering from surgery-he can walk on his own, but he has serious pain in his back…and he has some metal rods in his left leg. He had a tumor removed off his spine and his leg…he's got long scars there. I think the doc took pictures."

"Okay. I need a recent photo, and if you have like a photocopy of the bracelet and pictures of the scars, I'll put together a flyer and get them out tomorrow. Don't worry, you guys, in my experience, kids come back. They can't handle it on the streets, alone."

11001100

Nathan watched his hand tremble as he waited for the order to come from the cook. He had been gone nearly a month, working at some dinky diner in the middle of Raleigh, living…anywhere he could. Right now, it was the dilapidated apartment in the back of the diner-sooner or later, it'd be the streets again.

"Scottsdale, get a move on it!" the cook yelled, shoving the plate at him, splattering a little of the runny eggs onto his blue long-sleeve t-shirt. He sighed, taking the plate with his trembling hands, carrying it over to the old couple sitting in the corner.

"Do you need more coffee?" he asked politely, wiping his hands on the half-apron thing he was told he had to wear. The man nodded, and he poured some more coffee inot the coffee cup. "I hope you enjoy everything."

"Thank you, young man. You know, I could swear you remind me of something I saw on TV-"

"Probably not…but I get that a lot," Nathan whispered, giving them a smile before quietly walking away.

He passed by the kitchen after giving an order to the cook, heading toward the bathroom. His body shook with cold-he had spent one week before coming to Raliegh on a park bench in Laurinburg, on one of the coldest weeks of the year. He had been sick since then-at first just a cold-a sniffle here, a cough there-but now it was full blown, breath taking gasps-for air that killed his body each time he coughed. He sagged against the bathroom wall, looking at his arm, at the raised bump on it that had appeared a day or two ago. He knew it was a tumor…he had found a similar one on his back yesterday.

He hadn't thought about anything _but_ the cancer since he'd run. He had run out of pills long ago, and he had even thought about buying drugs to ease the pain. Anything to ease the pain.

11001100

"Anything yet?" Haley asked Lucas as she sat across from her best friend and Brooke in the student lounge. "It's been over a month-"

"Nothing. They have some sort of lead down in Raleigh…some guy said that he hired a waiter at his diner that looks like Nate…but other than that, no…Keith's meeting up with the sheriff-um-in Raleigh," Lucas answered, wrapping his hand around Brooke's, tightly, so tightly, as if he was afraid to lose her, too.

11001100

Nathan groaned at the incessant knocking on his door, rolling over in the small bed to half-glare at the door. It was his day off, and he intended to sleep through it. Now, being woken up at….eight in the morning…that wasn't part of his plan.

The knocking continued, and he rolled out of the bed, thinking of the choice words he was going to be saying to whoever was knocking on the door. He sat at the edge of the bed, willing his legs to work…they hated working in the morning…they were so stiff, so sore…

He leaned forward, resting his hand on the bed, pushing forward, and up, toward the door…as long as he got to the door, he would be fine. He could lean on the door frame, support his weight…or so he hoped..so he thought.

He reached out his hand, unlocking the door, then slowly moving it down to grip the knob, turning it open. He found himself staring at two black eyes, so full of anguish and surprise. "Nathan?"

He stepped back, feeling his leg give way as he stepped. He tried to compensate with his other leg, creating an awkward imbalance that caused him to fall. He felt the person come forward, trying to break the fall. "Nathan!" Keith yelled, looking at his nephew. He was deathly pale, and Keith couldn't help but see that large bump on his arm. He listened to the boy cough, his breath catching as he heard the painful gasps and grimaces. "Nate, you're okay, buddy. I'm right here."

"I told you not to come," Nathan whispered, attempting to calm his ragged breath.

"Nathan, I couldn't just not come. You're my son-and I'm not letting you go that easily," Keith answered, pushing hair off Nathan's forehead. There were cops now…he saw their blurry figures moving around them. "How long have you had the cough, Nate?"

"A couple of weeks…I slept on a bench in Laurinburg, and…"

"What about the bump? Are there any more?"

"My arm?" Keith nodded. "I noticed it two days ago…I have one on my back. I'm…I'm sorry, Keith…"

"Don't be, buddy. I'm not mad at you, okay? At least not until I know you're okay." Keith watched Nathan close his eyes, trying to fight to keep them open, losing the fight so quickly.

"Excuse me, sir, but I need to work on him," a paramedic said, pushing Keith away from Nathan's body. He felt for a pulse, looking at his partner worriedly. "His pulse is weak…56...decreased breath sounds in the left lung…"

"Is he okay?"

"Sir, he's not okay, I'm not gonna lie to you…he's really sick…but just let us take care of him…he'll be okay."

11001100

Haley felt her mind racing as she waited with Lucas in the family area. Keith and Karen had gone to talk to Dr. Clyde, and it was just Haley and Lucas, waiting anxiously. She couldn't wait to see Nathan-to explain-to baby him and coddle him, yet, let him feel independent. "How do you think he is?" she whispered, looking at Lucas. He smiled, giving her a tight hug.

"Keith said he'd be okay. I have to believe that. Have to," Lucas answered, kissing her forehead. "And you do, too. I don't know what's gotten into him-I don't know why he left, but I don know that he still needs you, Haley James."

Karen watched her son comfort Haley as they waited for Dr. Clyde in an office right off the main area. The oncologist was still looking over Nathan, but she was eager to look at him herself, to touch him to make sure that he was real. When Keith had called her, she had broken a bowl at the café. She had cried when he said that Nate was really sick, living in some dinky place in Raleigh, working. And then he told her about the tumors. And now, they were waiting: waiting for Jefferson Clyde to come out and tell them the truth.  
They had been getting the run around ever since they got to the hospital. First, no one would tell them where Nathan was. Then, they had the audacity to question Keith's guardianship over Nathan. Finally, after a stern phone call from Dr. Clyde, it had been arranged for Nathan to get back to Tree Hill, and now, here they were, someplace of familiarity.

"Keith, Karen," Dr. Clyde greeted the two, carrying a set of x-reys, a manila envelope. "God, you two must be worried. As anyone come to tell you anything?"

"No," Keith answered.

"I'll make sure they know to come inform you next time. Nathan's resting upstairs right now. I need your consent to take him to the OR for surgery to remove three more tumors…two on his back, and one on his arm. That's what these papers are for," Dr. Clyde explained, showing the paper to Karen and Keith, who immediately signed it. "Now, as you can guess, the cancer has spread. Before he took off, I classified his cancer at the first stage…now, after looking at the X-reys and the scans we've done, I'm going to move that up a level. No need to worry anymore than you already have-we'll just have to treat the cancer more aggressively. He'll have to have chemo everyday to catch up to his schedule, and we'll add an extra month onto the time line I suggested for chemo."

"Is he sick? The medics said he had decreased breath sounds-"

"He has a horrible case of pnemonia. That's why I can't risk surgery now…he has a 103 degree temperature, his left lung is shot to hell, and he has a bladder infection. The chemo causes the immunity system to weaken, and colds are easily contracted. We're treating him with antibiotics, but because of his high risk of catching something, I can't allow you into his room. I can let you see him, talk to him by way of a PA-like system, but you can't be in the room with him until his infections have gone completely away."

"How long will that be?"

"I'm not sure. At least two weeks. I know you've been away from him for a long time, and I have a compromise for you. You'd have to change into some scrubs, do as instructed, but I'll give you each ten minutes with him this afternoon. After that, no one but doctors and nurses."

"Okay. How was he, the last time you saw him?"

"A little worse for wear, but okay. He's in obvious pain…I had to put a catheter in because the bladder infection closed up his urinary tract…he'll hate me even more when I take it out. As soon as I talk to him, I'm going to give him something to help him sleep, but that will be after you go see him. Please believe me when I say it's not as bad as it could be."

11001100

His eyes blinked only once before fluttering open, sea blue staring out at white walls. He lifted a lethargic hand to scratch the bandage on his forearm, closing his eyes at the effort it took. He felt someone touch his hand gently, stilling his motions. He opened his eyes again, looking up at Keith. "Hey, buddy," Keith greeted him, running a hand through his nephew's hair. "I only have ten minutes, okay? I jjust wanted to tell you that you won't be able to see me for a while-" he watched Nathan's eyes panic, his body struggling with the bed.

"I'm sorry, Keith…I won't…please don't send me away…I…I…I'll do anything…" the words came out in a rush, followed by swift gulps for air and chaotic coughing.

"No, Nathan, I would never do that," Keith promised, forcing Nathan to remain calm. "You have pneumonia, Nathan, and a bladder infection, and the doctor wants to get you back on chemo as soon as possible. They're gonna give you chemo once a day, but since it makes your immune system so weak, they don't want anyone around that could infect you. I'll be able to talk to you and you'll see me through a window, but you can't touch me and vice versa. And, as soon as your fever goes down, they're going to take you back to get those tumor removed."

"Not getting rid of me?"

"No, Nathan. I would never ever do that. You could never do anything to make me do that. Not even run away for a month and get really sick…that just makes me worry, buddy."

"I didn't mean to be around this long," Nathan whispered, turning his head. "But…I just wanted you all to know where to find my body."

"You would have broken our hearts, Nathan. You'll be fine, buddy…Dr. C. told me that you'll get better." Keith looked up as there was a knock on the window. "Looks like my minutes are up…Karen's next, then Luke and Hales…"

"I don't want to talk to her."

"But you will. And you will listen to here, Nathan Alexander. You don't know the whole story," Keith warned, giving Nate's shoulder a quick pat before leaving.  
Nathan sighed, closing his eyes as he heard the door open again. He wished he was asleep, but he knew that Karen would know that he wasn't.

"How are you feeling?" her voice was soft, as was her hand, running through his hair, so comforting, so smooth.

"Been better, been worse," Nathan whispered, not opening his eyes.

"You're a real talkative guy today, Nate."

"What do you want me to say, Karen? I'm sorry? I was wrong? Hell yes, I was…but I didn't ask to be found, okay? I didn't ask you to spend time looking for me." His response was so harsh, harsher than what he wanted to come out. He turned in the bed, looking out the window.

"I see you haven't lost your spunk."

"Did I even have any there from the beginning?"

"Nathan, what the hell is your problem? Everything is not hopeless, and everything is not lost. And every time you think it is, you're hurting one of use! And Nathan, we don't want you to hurt yourself anymore! Do you realize what could have happened? You could have died! You could have gotten hurt, and we wouldn't know! And I hate that! I hate thinking that _that_ could happen to you! Why can't you see that?" She was in tears now, shaking her head. "I need to go. I love you, Nathan. Just remember that. And I hope…I hope you use this time to get back to being we all know and love." She stood up, kissing his forehead.

"I'll just add you to the list of people disappointed in me. Maybe I'll add you to the mailing list."

"I'm not disappointed in you. You've proved that you can be independent-even when you're not in the best of health. I'm not disappointed in that, buddy. I'm proud of that. I'm disappointed that you don't know what hurt you cause," she responded curtly, leaving the room.

Tears slipped down his face as he heard the door close. Disappointment hurt a lot worse than hate…he should know. He saw it in his father's eyes every time he missed a basket, he saw it in his mother's eyes when she found out he had been drinking…he was disappointing. His eyes fell to the IV by his bedside, and the wheels in his brain started turning. Why not just add another disappointment to his list?

He gripped the line going into his arm, and tugged on it, feeling it jerk and pull before finally giving way. He heard an alarm go off, and he pulled harder on the next line. He watched the clear liquid drip from the end of the line. He pushed himself up, kicking the blanket of his lower body.

"Nathan, what do you think you're doing?" the nurse, Ann, asked, as she entered the room. "Nathan-"

"I don't…I don't want to be here," Nathan whispered.

"Nate, you…I understand you don't like the attention. You didn't want to be found…but you were. See this as your second chance."

"I don't want a second chance!" Nathan's voice was broken, tears slashing through it. His hands raked at his arms, watching the skin turn red.

"Nathan….Nathan, don't do that," Ann warned, pressing the alarm button beside Nathan's bed. She grabbed one of his wrists, pinning it to the bed, squeezing it tight to cause him to focus on that pain, not on anything else.

"Let me go," he whispered as an orderly came in, looking at the patient and nurse.

"I need a set of restraints for him. I'll also need a new needle to insert his IV again, get me a mild sedative, and page Dr. Clyde."

11001100

"What do you mean I can't see him? He's my brother!" Lucas yelled, looking at his parents wildly. "Mom…Keith…"

"Nathan needs some time to rest, Lucas. He's…he's just got to have some time to rest. You can still see him-" Dr. Clyde tried to compromise, putting a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "He's been given a sedative, Luke, to make sure he rests. If he doesn't, the consequences could be detrimental."

"What happened? I heard something go off…"

"He pulled out a couple of lines in his IV, and he's caused a pretty big tear on his interior forearms. He's in restraints right now."

"Can I see him?" Hale whispered, finally speaking up. "I might be able to help him."

"Miss James-"

"She's right, Dr. Clyde. Half of the reason Nathan ran away is because of a misunderstanding with her. Just give her a couple minutes with him when he wakes up?" Karen begged, giving Haley a small smile. Anything to help her son.

"Of course. I'll see when he wakes up."

11001100

"Hey you," Haley whispered to Nathan as his eyes attempted to open. "I thought I'd be here when you woke up so you wouldn't be quite so angry with me." She stopped, taking a deep breath, and his hand. "I didn't kiss Chris. I would never ever cheat on you, and especially not with some little…jerk like Chris Keller. I love you, Nathan Scott. You. I love when you used to call me Hales, and I love when you run your fingers through my hair. I love your kisses, and your hugs, and just…you being you.

"And I would cheat on you! I'm not a whore, or a slut, or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that, Nathan. I hope one day you will understand that I'll never stop loving you."

She stood to leave, but something pulled her back down-a pale, worn hand wrapped tightly around her own.


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: OTH DOES NOT BELONG TO ME; HOWEVER, THE SONG _NOTHING AS IT SEEMS_ DOES! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION**

**Chapter Fourteen: The Pain I Deserve**

She studied the frail, off-white piano keys intently, fingers reaching up to rest their tips on the precious keys. She started off with a soft melody, startling those in the game area. She watched the keys intently, her fingers stretching and contracting as she began playing harder and harder, listening to the music, not the chatter from behind her.

_Nothing's as it seems…  
On a rainy street,  
A child dreams  
A better life for him  
He prays for it. _

Nothing's as it seems….  
A girl cries as outside  
True love stares  
Wondering were  
She lays

Nothing's ever as it seems,  
Our lives never work out  
Just the way we planned it to be  
And Nothing…Nothing's ever  
Like it seems…

Nothing's as it seems…  
A grown--up boy,  
strong and proud,  
Facing now…  
Praying for his life to be saved

Because Nothing…  
Nothing…  
Nothing's ever…ever like it seems.

She felt someone sit down beside her, covering her hands with his. "Beautiful song, Hales," Nathan whispered, kissing her neck softly.

"Thank you," she replied, turning to look at him. "I thought you were still in chemo-?"

"Um, yeah, but I'm done for the day," Nathan answered excitedly, smiling brightly. "And my girlfriend's here. What could make the day better?"

"I don't know. So, what did the doctor tell you?"

"Um…nothing really. The tumor on the top my spine is benign, which is good, um, but the other two weren't, and they're probably going to do the surgery on Friday. If all the test go all right, that is."

"They'll be fine, Nathan. So, why are we hanging out in here, when we could be somewhere else doing…" she looked around slyly, raising an eyebrow. "other things."

"Hmmm…you sure know how to make me happy," Nathan answered, helping her up. His smile was sensational, stretching from ear to ear as he wrapped his hand around hers.

Since he had been back-over two week ago-no one had really mentioned his month-long departure. They stopped their babying of him-he was allowed more independence, and he didn't' need to be looked after every second of every minute of every day.

As soon as they opened the door to Nathan's room, she was against the door, their mouths melded together in a fit of passion. Her hands wrapped around his neck as his clutched her hips. She smiled against his mouth, pulling him closer to her. "I love you," he whispered, placing soft kisses on her lips.

"I love you, too, Nathan Alexander," she responded without hesitation, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped her in a hug, laying his head on top of her. "Are you scared for Friday?"

"I'm not scared anymore. Not when you're here," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"I'm scared."

"For me? Why?"

"Do you know how freaking dangerous this surgery is, Nathan? They're operating on your _skull_! That's a little bit more than dangerous!"

"Haley, I can't afford to worry anymore. I don't have long enough to worry. At least…not right now. I have better things to do," he answered, kissing her again, finding comfort in her arms.

11001100

Keith looked through the mail sitting on the kitchen counter, occasionally looking up to watch his wife at the stove. "Did you open the letter from Child Services?" he asked, looking back at the letter.

"No. I figured I'd let you do the honor," Karen answered swiftly. She was still angry at Nathan, but her anger had simmered over the past couple of weeks, barely there.

Keith nodded, opening the letter, emptying the contents. He swiftly read through the letter, looking up in anger. "What's wrong, Keith?"

"They-they want to take Nathan away from us," he whispered, looking up, fearing running through his eyes.

11001100

Nathan flushed the toilet, pushing to his feet as he turned out the bathroom light. He made his way back to the bed, slowly trailing behind his IV. He was wearing a gray t-shirt and some blue and black plaid pajama bottoms that Karen had found at some store. He was thankful it just wasn't some hospital gown or something.

"Nathan?"

"What the hell?" he yelled, turning to look at the darkened figured, feeling the IV pull at his skin before finally relinquishing its hold and coming out. "Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my room?"

The man stepped forward, and Nathan let out a breath when he saw it was Keith. "You sound like you saw a ghost."

"I didn't know who the hell you were! You could have been like a burglar or something!" Nathan exclaimed, letting Keith help him back into his bed.

"A burglar? At 11? In a hospital? On the third floor?" Keith asked, eyeing him.

"I was just…yeah….I just threw up."

"'Nough said. We're having problems, buddy-"

"With what?" Keith took a breath as he handed Nathan the letter he and Karen had received. He watched Nathan read it over, blue eyes darkening in anger as he read the words.

" 'There will be a hearing to determine whether you are capable of retaining custody of Nathan A. Scott'? What does that mean?"

"That means that they want to investigate whether Karen and I are qualified to keep you."

"Because I ran away? That was my fault…no one elses'! Dammit, I'm to blame. It's my fault! It's my damn fault!" His hands slammed against his temple as Keith sat there, shocked, watching his nephew beat himself up.

"Nathan, stop! Stop it!" Keith suddenly said, grabbing his nephew's wrists, pulling them away from his body. "Look at me. Nathan, look at me!" Those blue eyes looked up at him, reddened, scared. "This is not your fault. This is never going to be your fault. I won't sit here and let you blame yourself for it. We'll get through it, buddy, I promise. I'm not gonna lose you. That's a promise."

"Keith-"

"Not gonna happen, okay? I'll fight for you, 'cause believe me, you are worth it, buddy. Every day, you're going to be worth it. You and Lucas and Karen are all that's important to me, okay?" Nathan nodded, taking a deep breath. He turned in the bed, feeling Keith's hand on his shoulder, comforting him into sleep.

11001100

Nathan looked up as there was a knock on the door to his hospital room, his eyes lighting with curiosity as a well-dressed woman walked in with a briefcase. "Nathan Scott?" she asked, watching him sit up in the bed.

"Can I help you?" he replied harshly, watching her set the briefcase on the table by the bed, pulling out a folder. "My caseworker."

"Casey Alton."

"Well, let me save you some time. I ran away because I was an idiot, okay? That's about the end of the story for me. Keith didn't do anything-unless you count trying to find me every day for a month."

"Why did you run away?" Casey asked.

"Are you a psychologist?" She shook her head. "Then I really don't want to rely on you psychoanalyzing me."

"I'm not trying to-"

"Bull shit. Don't ask me my motives, okay? They had nothing to do with Karen and nothing to do with Keith…that's about all you should care about," Nathan snapped, getting out of the bed.

"Mr. Scott, I'm looking after your well being-?"

Nathan turned around quickly, face set in a killer look. "Well-being? I'm a cancer patient-where were you when I was diagnosed with that? How about my father used to cuss me out after a bad game? Keith has done nothing wrong! If anyone is wrong, it's me, okay? And I don't want to talk to you and have you badmouth Keith to me!" He stormed out of the room, hearing the door slam behind him as he headed toward the game room to relieve some stress with the old pinball machine.

Nathan was surprised when he saw Dr. Clyde there, sitting at a table, drinking a cup of coffee. "Hey, Dr. C." The older man looked up, surprised, giving Nathan a small wave.

"I thought you had some tests today," Jefferson Clyde answered back, downing his coffee again.

"I had one earlier, and I have one at like four today. I just needed out…there was a caseworker there, trying to blame Keith for my mistakes and it was bad and I need to work out some stress."

"I'm so sorry. That's got to be hard. Are you nervous or anything?"

"No, not really. I-I guess I'm more worried with having Dr. Newman remove the tumor on my skull than anything else. I just hope nothing goes wrong. My family can't handle another blow."

"We'll do our best, Nathan," Dr. Clyde promised. "But don't worry about that. You really don't need to worry about that. So, pinball?"

11001100

Friday brought storms and rain to the town of Tree Hill. In the small preparation area of Tree Hill Memorial's OR, a nurse worked diligently on shaving off a small part of Nathan's buzzed hair. One of his hands ran over his face, trying to keep awake as the medical staff tried their hardest to make him fall asleep. "Is Karen here?" he murmured, looking at the nurse taking his blood pressure.

"Yes, honey. She's waiting right outside. She'll be in in just a minute," the nurse promised, giving him a smile.

"Okay. Before I go to sleep?"

"I promise, Nathan. Why don't we get you to lay back? Lynn's done with your hair, and let me tell you, it looks hot."

"Oh thank God. I wouldn't forgive her if it didn't," Nathan muttered.

"Funny. She's gonna go get Karen, okay?" the nurse told him, checking his temperature. "How are you feeling? A little sleepy?"

"A lot sleepy," the teenager mumbled as Karen stepped into the room. She came over to his bed, taking one of his hands. "Hey." His voice was husky, hoarse.

"Hey, baby. Ready for this?" She asked, leaning in to kiss his forehead.

"Yeah. Where's Keith? How long is this going to take?" His worries came out in jumbled questions, and she soothed him with a single smile.

"Keith's coming after he goes to the office for awhile. Lucas and Haley are coming after school. It's going to be about four to seven hours. But we'll all see you when you wake up, okay? I'm gonna be right here all day."

"Don't-Don't worry about me," he whispered as his eyes closed for a final time.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Karen questioned as the nurse injected something else into his IV.

"Yes ma'am. We're gonna take him back now, and they'll start the surgery relatively soon. Dr. Clyde will come talk to you after he finishes removing the tumors on Nathan's arm and spine, and then he'll come see you when Dr. Newman finishes as well."

"Okay. He'll be okay, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. We'll take good care of him. He's everyone's favorite teenager in the cancer ward."

"Tell him I love him."

"Sure. If you want to wait in the waiting room, we'll come and get you when he's done." Karen nodded, going back out to the waiting room, watching the clock. _Minute one.  
_

11001100

Hour five. Karen sighed as she watched the clock, closing the cooking magazine she had been reading. Dr. Clyde had come in earlier to tell her that the first leg of the surgery had gone well at about the three hour mark, so Karen hoped it wouldn't be too much longer.

"Mrs. Roe?" Karen smiled at the voice of Dr. Clyde, and she stood up, coming over. "We moved him to recovery so we can set him up a room in the ICU ward."

"So he's okay?"

"Surgery went well. They had a little problem with bleeding when they were trying to close his wound, but they hurriedly stopped it, and it all alright now. There's a small tube in his skull, coming out of the wound, to drain any fluid there."

"When can I go see him?"

"Um…Dr. Newman's checking him over. I suppose you can go now," Dr. Clyde said dramatically, giving her a smile. "Keith on his way?"

"Yeah. He's about five minutes away."

"Well, if you want to go be with Nathan, I'll show Keith back when he gets here, how about that?" Dr. Clyde offered, nodding for the nurse. "Will you please show Ms. Roe to Nathan's bed? She's his foster mom."

"Sure, Ms. Roe. Did Dr. Clyde tell you how great he did in surgery?" Clyde heard their voices fade, and he turned back to the waiting room doors, sitting in a chair.

"Dr. Clyde, what are you doing out here?" Keith asked as he came into the hospital. "Did his surgery go okay?"

"Yes, it went fantas-"

"Code Blue, Dr. Jefferson Clyde to OR Recovery, code blue." Clyde's head snapped up, and he looked over at Keith. The only person in OR recovery was Nathan Scott.


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OTH; THE SONG AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER WAS MADE BY ME!!!**

**Chapter Fifteen: The Broken Road**

_"Code Blue, Dr. Jefferson Clyde to OR Recovery, code bl-"_ Nathan's eyes opened with a start, looking around the dark room. His chest rose and fell as he watched the ventilator force it too, pushing air into his lungs. His eyes darted around the dark room, to the various pieces of equipment, all monitoring something: one for his kidneys, issuing dialysis and monitoring their readings, one for his heart, tracking his heartbeat as it got better, one sending out his brain scan readings, medicine in his IV to keep his digestive system on track, a catheter taking in his urine output.

He had suffered multiple system shutdown when he came out of surgery, or so Karen and Keith had told him. At first they had no explanation for it-or for why the surgeons emergency measures weren't working, until they discovered that a negligible nurse had written down the wrong medicine for him, and he had been given what could-have-been a lethal dose of that medication. After it had been flushed out of his system, his body had slowly been progressing back to normal.

"Honey, you okay?" the night nurse, Ally, asked, coming into the room. She came in every thirty minutes, whether an alarm had rung or not (and usually it had-just from him moving slightly or turning his head.)

He nodded his head, lifting a tired arm to scratch at the bandage on his other forearm. Reluctantly, he stopped as the nurse glared at him. "Okay, well, all your stats look good-your kidneys are almost back to normal, and your heartbeat is strong. With any luck, you'll be off all these machines and medications in the morning." Nathan smiled around the breathing tube, his eyes closing momentarily, opening again. "Try to get some more rest, okay, buddy? There's only a couple more hours left until morning rounds, and you have testing most of tomorrow-and chemo."

He sighed, longing for home. Home…he wished he could be there now. With Karen's home cooking-not that he could eat it- and Lucas' gentle banter-not that he could compete with it-he missed home. That's what it was now…it wasn't the place he lived because he had to…it was _home_.

He hadn't even realized he had drifted off until he heard the nurse gently talking to someone above him. His eyes drifted open, and he saw Keith's soft smile staring down at him.

"Hey, buddy. Nice of you to wake up," Keith replied. "Did you sleep well?" Nathan nodded his head a little, feeling the tube in his head move slightly. There was a machine monitoring the fluid in his brain, too. "I have great news." Blue eyes looked to him, and Keith's smile widened, taking Nathan's bandaged hand. "This morning, Karen and I went to sign your adoption papers."

The cerulean eyes widened with happiness as he opened his mouth as if to speak, only to realize there was still a tube there. He looked back at Keith, his eyes so upset. "It's okay, buddy," Keith whispered, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. "You feeling okay today?" Nathan nodded slightly, turning his attention to the doctor that had come into the room.

"Looking good today, Scott," Dr. Clyde greeted his patient, looking over the chart. "So, all your stats from last night are…great. Did you get some sleep last night?" Nathan nodded, shifting in the bed. "Okay. Get some more sleep after you eat-rest is going to help heal those wounds. I'm going to give you a light sedative-it'll help you sleep for the rest of the day-you probably won't remember your tests or your chemo, which will probably be a welcome relief for you. I'll also extubate the breathing tube in a couple of minutes, so you'll be able to talk to your family and friends."

Nathan smiled, feeling his life finally start being pieced back together.

11001100

Haley knocked softly on Nathan's door, smiling when she saw him, his eyes closed. She slipped her book bag off, into a chair, going to his bed. She loved watching him sleep; he looked like a weight had been taken off his shoulder then. She came closer, realizing that he was void of any excess machinery.

"Hales?" Her head jerked to his sleeping face, his body arching in pain. "No! Dad!" His scream shook her body, and she took a deep breath, going forward. "Dad-no…Dad, please…please, Dad…no…"

In a second, she was by his bed, a hand running over his head, taking his hand. "Baby, Nate, please, wake up," she whispered, kissing him. "Nathan-please Nathan." His eyes jerked open, and he looked like he wasn't able to breathe. "Nathan-"

"Hales-Haley-"

"Take a deep breath, Nathan. I'm right here. It was just a nightmare, honey…just a nightmare."

"My Dad…he was trying to kill you-"

"But he's not here, Nathan Scott. It's just and me-"

"And all of the people," he whispered in a singsong voice, smiling softly.

"Oh, you big softie. Why didn't you tell me all these things were going away today?"

"I wanted to surprise you," he answered, pulling her closer to him, intertwining their hands as their mouths met.

"And what a surprise it is. I love you, Nathan,." She smiled proudly, leaning in to kiss him yet again. She rested her head on his chest, finally feeling that the broken road that he had been on was mending, and they would find peace and happiness again.

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

His hands tapped on the table connected to the hospital bed, impatiently waiting for the last of the neon yellow liquid to deposit into his blood stream. He smiled, staring at his forearm, at the light, S-shaped 6 inch scar on it, the remnants of his tumor. He scratched at the scar, an odd habit he had picked up after he left the hospital nearly half a year ago.

"Nathan, here by yourself today?" Dr. Clyde asked, a little surprised. Usually Karen or Keith always came with him.

"Um, yeah. Karen was doing some last minute wedding…something and Keith had to go to the dealership, so yeah, here I am, ramped and ready."

"Well, good. You understand that it's still not over? You have to come next week to make sure it's all gone-we'll take a couple of X-reys…if that goes well, um, you'll have monthly visits for the next year or so, and then we'll go to six month intervals. You've been doing everything right, and hopefully it's gone for good."

"I can only hope," Nathan commented, looking up at the doctor. "Do I have a good chance? Of it going into remission? For good?"

"Or maybe for awhile. Remission all depends on different things-how healthy you are, family history, so it's different with everyone."

"Oh. Okay. So, are you coming to the wedding?"

"I did send back my invite, didn't I? Of course I'm coming. Keith and Karen need someone to eat all that food."

Nathan smiled, looking at the bag. "Do you know I've had about 75 bags of this crap put in me in six months? I figured it all out last night between math homework and my date with Hales."

"So, last week began the second month of summer, right?"

"Hell, yes. I am happy-and if you give me my medical clearance, I can start going to summer basketball practice-" Nathan slyly stated, looking up at the doctor.

"Nathan, we've talked about it. I might sign that clearence-maybe-for this fall-"

"But I've got to get back to the way I was. I've got scouts looking at me this year-"

"How about we make a deal. You wait two months-that's September-if your scans come back clean, I'll sign a guarded release. That means if you start feeling anything-sick or pain in your leg or anything-you stop practicing. I'll up the level of your release to full medical clearance when basketball tryouts starts again. Okay? But I want you to take it easy for two months-sure you can do some running, play a little basketball, but no more than an hour a day-an hour and a half at the latest-and nothing strenuous. Agreed?"

"Sure, Dr. C. As long as I can play."

"I know this is hard, Nathan-no one would ever want to keep you from basketball, but we just have to be cautious. Always cautious." Nathan nodded reluctantly. "Buddy, I know you would do anything to get back to where you were…but it's gonna take time."

"It's already taken enough of my life. It'll be a year in December- a year of my life wasted on this…I could have done so much in a year."

"Nathan, you could have been dead in less than a couple of years if you hadn't have gotten this taken care of." Nathan looked up at the doctor, and pain and fear and sadness could be seen in his eyes. "But, let's think happy thoughts. For God Sake's, you're fifteen minutes away from being free."

Nathan smiled, looking at the clock. "Or so we all hope."

"Fourteen minutes."

"Do you think we could like christen this my room? The Nathan Scott room-"

"Thirteen minutes."

"And the minutes just keep rolling off-" Dr. Clyde said, in a light, sarcastic annoyance. "Thank God."

11001100

Karen looked around the great room, making sure the sign was set, the cake was just perfect, and the present was waiting patiently on the newly-added screened in porch. She smiled at Keith as he and Lucas watched out the window, waiting for the Bronco to pull up. Outside, Karen heard the present bark, and she set a small bowl of food out, hoping to silence the two month old lab mix puppy. Nathan had been hinting at the idea of a pet-and had gotten Luke set on it, too-so Karen and Keith had finally caved.

"Mom, he just parked," Lucas said excitedly, hugging Haley. "Do you think he'll like all of this?"

"If by all of this, you mean that gorgeous, adorable puppy-"

"Maddox-" Lucas interrupted. He had picked out the name for the puppy when they got it earlier in the day.

"Fine, _Maddox_, then I think he will. I-we all know he hates surprises."

They both stopped talking as they heard the door open. Nathan stopped in the doorway, his eyes looking over the sign. He bit his lip as his family and friends came around him, words of congratulations on their lips. "Um…what is this?" he asked Karen, voice scared and a little curious.

"You realize you had your last chemo treatment today?" Karen said, reaching a hand up to touch his forehead. "Did you fall on your way home? Any concussions that I should know about?"

"Funny, Karen, really. Why did-why did you do all this? I'm-I'm just a little confused-"

"Honey-"

"I'm kidding, Karen. Guys, this is great-so great!" He hugged her tight, smiling brightly as he continued to hug her. Keith came up, and he hugged him as well, stopping to see Haley there. She was waiting patiently for her hug, too. She came next, and he twirled her around, making everyone around him laugh. Once he set her down, he turned to Karen, rubbing his hands together. "Do I have cake?"

"Of course you have cake. Homemade and everything."

"This won't be so delicious tomorrow-"

"So enjoy it today."

"Oh, believe me, I will. I cannot believe you made me cake. This is so freaking awesome," Nathan said excitedly, heading for the cake before noticing something black and furry bounding to him from the back. He caught it in mid-pounce, holding the mischievous creature at an arms length to determine what it was. He watched the small animal twist and turn in his hands, struggling to get down. "What is this thing?"

"That is Maddox. She's a puppy," Haley stated with a smirk. "Honestly, I thought we were done with the whole tutoring thing."

"I know it's a puppy, Hales…why is it here?"

"It's a present."

"Okay. From whom?"

"Karen, Keith, and Lucas. A congratulations present." Nathan nodded, staring at the small puppy. It yawned, looking up at Nathan with the biggest eyes ever, sleep overcoming them. He pressed the dog to his chest, feeling it's small, warm paw rake at his chest before snuggling into his arms.

"Guys, she's gorgeous. Thank you so much."

"We set out a small pin on the porch and she can sleep there until we've got her potty-trained, okay?"

"Okay, Karen. Can she stay in here though? Just while she's sleeping?"

"Sure, honey. Why don't you set her down while we go eat cake?" Karen suggested, putting a hand on his upper back. He nodded, carefully setting the delicate Labrador onto the couch, petting it with a smile before he rejoined his family.

11001100

Black and white sparkled in the soft light as Haley occupied the bench of the piano at Karen's Café, hands poised and ready to play. The place was completely dark-just the way she liked it when she played. Tomorrow was Karen's wedding, a big day-it seemed like it couldn't get here fast enough. The café would be closed in celebration, mostly because regulars at the café were all invited to the wedding.

Her fingers started the soft melody-her lips waiting to form the words.

_Ten shattered pieces-  
Ten shattereted tons-  
Blood spilling over-  
Shouts of I'm done  
In this total madness-  
As crazyness ensues-  
The heart is torn forever  
And love leaves the room. _

I don't know where I was  
When I watched this sight  
My mother and father  
Fighting all night.  
They said they didn't matter  
That they didn't care  
Then it was over-  
And their shattered hearts were left there

Ten years later,  
Ten long, hard years,  
Daddy saw Mommy,  
And burst into tears  
His heart was still cracked,  
Still torn in two  
Hoping that one day,  
It'd all be undo

I don't know where I was  
When I watched this sight  
My mother and father  
Cutting off their lives  
They once said they didn't matter  
That they didn't care  
Then it was over-  
And their shattered hearts would never repair

Daddy told Mommy  
He'd hate her till she died,  
Then mommy left us,  
To become an angel in the sky  
I could never understand  
The pain he was going through,  
Then Daddy left me,  
And all I know-is forever what I knew.

Happy couples flounder,  
They suffer and fight,  
They never recover,  
Never repair their lives…  
Their momentous memories-  
All gone now-  
All dead and buried-  
Somewhere….sometime…in the ground.

She stopped playing, tears streaming down her face. Oh the tragic story of her 'All-American family'-they started out happy enough-and then they found nothing to be happy about…and then they died. Both of them. Within two weeks of one another.

"Hales?"

She froze as she heard Nathan's voice, and the over-exuberant bark of puppy Maddox. She turned to see them, smiling a little. "Hey."

"Hi. Not our normal happy self tonight, are we?"

"My parents died on tonight. It's just…it's always hard to remember."

He wrapped her in a hug, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

11001100

She let him take her home, follow her up to her room. She felt his presence beside her, placing a kiss at the hollow of her neck, looking at her with a question in his eyes as she pleaded with him for more.


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN; THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER BEFORE THE EPILOGUE.**

**Chapter Sixteen: My Life Is Before Me**

Nathan took a deep breath as he stepped out into the beach, looking at all the decorations, the white roses, the purple violets that accented them so well. He rolled his shoulders, relaxing them, absentmindedly scratching the scar on his arm. It had been one year and nearly nine months since he was first diagnosed, and over a year since he had been in remission. His senior year had come and gone, highlighted with the win of a state championship in basketball, his first time making love with Haley, the wedding of Keith and Karen, his, Lucas', and Haley's acceptances to Duke, and the unexpected baby that Karen had had.

And now, here he was, ready to walk down the aisle with the love of his life.

The day after high school graduation, Nathan had asked Haley to marry him on their beach. And she had said yes.

"Hey, friend," a seducting voice said behind him, making him smile as he turned to see Brooke.

"Hey. It's good to see you again," Nathan replied, hugging the eighteen-year-old tight.

"Thanks for making it down to the wedding."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Brooke answered readily, looking around. "You've done a good job here, Nate. I'm proud of you."

"She's the only one I'll ever want, Brooke. I just wanted this to be special."

"And it will be. Have you decided what you two are going to do for college?"

"Live in Tree Hill. We're gonna find an apartment with Luke, drive up to the campus for class and basketball practice," Nathan answered. "How was New York?"

"Great-so exciting. I have lots of wedding gifts for you two. Are you going on a honeymoon?"

"No. We start class next week, so we figured we'd just wait. Have you seen Karen and Keith and Max yet?"

"No. I figured they'd be around soon. Anything come up yet?" Brooke asked, walking beside them as he headed for the tent that was holding the reception.

"No. I've been good-great actually. And let's hope I stay like that…I'm good with staying like that, you know?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna go see Haley, okay? It's…great to see you, Nathan. So good." She gave him a parting hug and kiss on the cheek.

Nathan wasn't left alone for long, feeling Lucas come up to sit beside him. "Nervous?"

"Me? Nervous? Never," Nathan answered sarcastically, giving his brother a wry smile.

"Anxious, really….just…anxious."

"You're doing a good thing, Nathan, and I just…I just wanted to tell you that I'm happy for you two…and I wish you all the luck in the world," Lucas said, returning his brother's smile.

"I wish we had gotten to know each other earlier, you know?"

"Yeah, sometimes I wish that, too. But then I think back on what you used to live with and think if we had known each other, then, then I think we would have grown up to hate each other," Lucas said. "And you wouldn't have met Haley, and you wouldn't be here now, about ready to marry her."

"About ready? I'm sure as hell ready. I can't wait." He stood up, taking a deep breath as Keith came into the reception tent.

"You ready, bud?" Nathan nodded, giving Lucas a 'man hug' before following Keith back into the gardens. "You look so handsome, Nathan. So grown up."

"I better be-I'm getting married for God's sakes," Nathan replied, hearing the music start. He stared down the aisle, watching the flower girls, the bridesmaids coming down after them. And finally, the bridal music started, and there she came, in a gorgeous white gown. He felt his breath catch in his throat as she came forward, and he felt his hands

clam up, and he felt excited.

Finally.

When Haley finally reached him, he grasped her hand, his eyes sparkling blue, tears caught that could never be released.

"We are here today-before God-to witness the joining in marriage of Haley and Nathan. This occasion marks the celebration of the love and commitment with which this man and woman begin their lives together. Who gives this woman to the man?"

"I do," Brian whispered, kissing Haley's forehead, giving Nathan a smile.

"This is a beginning and a continuation of their growth as individuals. With mutual care, respect, responsibility and knowledge comes the affirmation of each one's own life happiness, growth and freedom. With respect for individual boundaries comes the freedom to love unconditionally. Within the emotional safety of a loving relationship – the knowledge self-offered one another becomes the fertile soil for continued growth. With care and responsibility towards self and one another comes the potential for full and happy lives.

"By gathering together all the wishes of happiness and our fondest hopes for Nathan and Haley from all present here, we assure them that our hearts are in tune with theirs. These moments are so meaningful to all of us, for "what greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together – to strengthen each other in all labor – to minister to each other in all sorrow – to share with each other in all gladness.

"This relationship stands for love, loyalty, honesty and trust, but most of all for friendship. Before they knew love, they were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that is their destiny. Do not think that you can direct the course of love – for love, if it finds you worthy, shall direct you.

"Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment as well as a moral and physical union between two people. Marriage has been described as the best and most important relationship that can exist between them. It is the construction of their love and trust into a single growing energy of spiritual life. It is amoral commitment that requires and deserves daily attention. Marriage should be a life long consecration of the ideal of loving kindness – backed with the will to make it last.

The minister turned to the crowd. "Nathan has decided to write his own vows in the exchanging of the rings," he told them, turning to Nathan, who turned to Lucas. Luke handed him the beautiful ring. "Someday, this beach might wash away…the oceans may dry…the sun could dim, but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley." He slipped the ring on her hand, watching as she smiled at him.

"Now, Haley, repeat after me," the minister said. "I, Haley, take you, Nathan…"

"I, Haley, take you, Nathan…"

"To have and to hold from this day forward…"

"To have and to hold from this day forward…"

"In sickness and in health…"

"In sickness and in health…"

"For richer or poorer…"

"For richer or poorer…"

"For better or worse…"

"For better or worse…" Haley smiled, nodding to minister. She had this part written out. "I promise that I will love and cherish you and will deny all those that would come between us. I make this promise for eternity; a promise that I will keep forever, until the end of time. 'Til death do us part." She kissed his cheek as she slipped the simple white-gold band on Nathan's hand, letting out her breath. Nathan took both of her hands, his eyes watching hers', his hands never leaving hers'…

"By the power invested in me from the state of North Carolina, I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Nathan grinned, pulling her into a deep kiss, hearing the crowds around them cheering. They pulled apart, Nathan wiping away the tears in Haley's eyes. He hugged her tight, swinging her around, making her laugh. The bridal march started again, and he grabbed her hand, running with her through the rice and rose petals. He twirled her around again as they stood at the end of the aisles, kissing one last time. They took a limo toward Nate's house, to change, and to give people time to get over to the reception hall.

"I can't believe we're married," Haley whispered, running a soothing hand up and down Nathan's forearm. "You look so handsome."

"You don't how beautiful you look right now," Nathan responded, leaning in to kill her, again. "I don't want to stop kissing you."

"Slow down, boy. We have the rest of our lives to spend together."


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OTH! I DO NOT OWN **Good Riddance**; Green Day does. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! I HOPE YOU'VE ALL ENJOYED IT!!**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Last chapter, I meant for the line to say "leaning in to ki_ss_ her" not "leaning in to kill her"...because Nathan would so kill Haley...sorry for the goof...**

**Epilogue: For What It's Worth, It was Worth All the While**

The cold, wooden coffin looked so oddly out of place. It shouldn't be in that church, and it shouldn't have her husband's nicely dressed, cold body in it's soft lining. A single tear rushed down her face, her shaking hand creeping out to take his cold, pale one, her body almost losing all control.

"Mom?" She turned to see her son-her eighteen-year-old, now fatherless son.

"Yes, Danny?"

"Um…Uncle Luke asked if it was okay to start letting people into the church." Danny whispered, blue eyes widening when he saw his father in the coffin. "He looks like he's sleeping."

"He is, buddy," she whispered, giving him a wry smile. "Sleeping in heaven. Tell your uncle to open the doors. Will you help Max usher people in?" Though they were uncle and nephew, Max and Danny were more like brothers. "Where's Kaleigh Anne?"

"In the bridal room," Danny answered. "Crying."

"Oh, God. Let me go get her." With a soft hand on his shoulder, she left him, walking back toward the small bridal room, hearing the soft sobs of her daughter. "Kay A?" she soothed softly, using her husband's nickname for their beautiful daughter. "I know you just want to cry," haley whispered, sitting beside Danny's twin.

"I can't believe he's gone…or that he left us so quickly." Kaleigh leaned to sob on her mother's shoulder.

It was quick. He was diagnosed four months before, and it had gotten so bad in so little time. But, Nathan had never stopped loving his parents, his brothers, his wife, his kids…he had never stopped loving life. "Honey," Haley started softly. "He wouldn't want you to do this. He wanted you to remember him for his good…not for his death."

"I miss him."

"We all do, baby. But, you had eighteen years with him…he loved you so much, baby girl."

"I can't look at him in that coffin, Mom….it's hard…and it hurts."

11001100

_Haley's hand trembled as she tried to keep the test steady. She took a deep breath in, this could not be happening now. This was not what **they** needed. Their marriage was a little shaky at the moment, stress of school and work and basketball putting them on edge and making their annoyance with one another grow gradually day after day. Yesterday, their screaming match had lead to Nathan bunking with Lucas for the night.  
_

_She heard the door open, and her brown eyes quickly caught the blue one looking around the darkened apartment, wondering if Haley had picked up and left him. He walked to the light switch, dropping his bag on the floor beside the couch before flipping on the switch. His face was clearly surprised to see her there, sitting on the couch, pregnancy test in her hands. "Haley?" he whispered, finding a seat beside her. He reached out to touch her hand, and she flinched, the pregnancy test falling to the ground, smashing into several pieces. "Hales, what was that?"  
_

"_A pregnancy test," she answered, her voice soft and distant. "I'm pregnant."  
_

"_What?"  
_

_And that was it. She could feel it all sliding away in one single awkward moment. Their happy life, their happy marriage…she could feel it slip-sliding away in a second. All because of this…because of this stupid problem. She sucked up the tears, brushing them off her cheek as she turned to face him, her eyes cold. "I'm pregnant, Nathan. With your child." She got off the couch, her steps unsteady as she made her way to their bedroom, laying on their bed. She heard the door open softly, Nathan's soft steps coming towards the bed.  
_

"_Why are you so sad, Hales?" He asked quietly, sitting beside her, watching her.  
_

"_Do you not understand, Nathan? I'm going to have a baby. I'm nineteen-years-old, and I'm pregnant! And I don't even know if I can count on you to be here for the baby and me!" she screamed, watching him, feeling him tense as she said the last sentence.  
_

"_I'm not my father, Hales," he said in a clipped, hurt voice, standing up, not looking back at her as he walked out of their room.  
_

_She trembled as she heard the door slam.  
_

He didn't come home for two days. And, when he did, he was drunk, the smell of alcohol worsening her cursed morning sickness. He had gone straight to the bathroom, puked, and then headed to the kitchen.

"_Nathan-" she started, not knowing how much of an argument she could take today. "Do you want this baby?"  
_

_Her words were so soft that she didn't think he heard them. His back was to her, hands balancing him. "Why wouldn't I want it?" he replied, just as soft.  
_

"_I don't know. But I can't take this. Our baby can't take this. I won't let you do this to us."  
_

"_Do you know how much it hurts, Hales, to know that your own wife thinks you'll screw up with your own baby? Do you know how much that hurts?"  
_

"_Nathan, I don't think that." She took a cautious step forward, close enough to wrap her arms around him. "I was mad. We were fighting and I was stressed and with the news…that doesn't mean I had any right to question your ability to be a father."_

_"Hales, maybe this is what we need," he whispered, turning around to embrace her, placing a single kiss on her forehead. "Maybe this is just our fate for right now."_

11001100

"In entertainment news, thousands of mourners gathered outside Tree Hill Christian Church to grieve for the loss of basketball great Nathan Scott. Though many stood in the gardens of the church and lined the street going from the funeral home to the church, as well as attended the memorial service two days ago, only 50 people were allowed inside for the service-among them his parents, Keith and Karen, his brothers Lucas, a teammate from both Duke and Charlotte, and Max, a senior at Tree Hill High, his wife of 20 years, singer Haley James-Scott, and the couples twins, 18-year-old Daniel and Kaleigh Anne. Teammates and coaches from both his old Duke Blue Devils team and the Charlotte Bobcats were also in attendance."

Haley muted the volume on the TV, wiping away the silent tears that trailed down her cheeks. She sat on the couch, memories flooding her mind-memories of intimate times with Nathan, of times with her kids. She let out a sob, her reserve finally failing.

"Mom?" Danny whispered, coming into the great room. "K.A. is sleeping. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, honey," Haley answered, stopping the tears. "Just…sad…thinking…"

"We all are, Mom. I'm going to miss him…I'm going to miss him so much. I don't know…he's always been there, to help me, to guide me…I…I don't know if I want to keep playing basketball after this."

"You will, Danny. Your father lived for you-to make sure your life would be worth something…to make sure you wouldn't have to go through anything he went through. This…this was his fate…his destiny. And though we're sad…we won't ever forget…and he'd want you to enjoy life…enjoy basketball…be successful…"

11001100

_"How's my little man," Nathan cooed, letting his son grab his pinky and pull it into his mouth. He kissed the baby's bald head, looking over to his wide-eyed, blue eyed baby girl. "And how's my princess? Is she tired? Did Aunty Brooke take her shopping?"  
_

"_Hell yes, she did," Haley answered, coming into their tiny living room of their apartment. "Lot's of cute frilly dresses. And you should have seen the stuff she brought back for Danny. I'm surprised it all fits into their room." Their small apartment was cramped now, with four people sharing two bedrooms and a bathroom.  
_

_Nathan smiled at his wife, standing up to embrace her, feeling her lips whisper soft kisses on his neck. He leaned down and captured them, giving in to the kiss they so desired._

_  
They were interrupted by the phone ringing, and Nathan stared at it a moment, hope filling his eyes as Haley answered it and then handed it to him.  
_

"_Hello?" His entire future was riding on this one night. "Yes, sir? Really…oh…my…oh my God….yes, tell them yes. Yes, sir. I'll talk to you in the morning. And yes, sir, Haley and Danny and Kay A are doing just fine." Nathan hung up the phone , turning back to his wife, who was quietly holding her breath. "That was Coach Krzyzewski, Hales. I was first round draft pick for the Charlotte Bobcats."  
_

_Talk about Fate coming to answer their prayers._

11001100

She froze as she heard the tv turn on again, and she realized that she had accidently hit the MUTE button as she pulled away from the hug with her son.

"Scott retired after winning the NBA Championships for the fourth time and then announced he had a rare form of bone cancer that started on his spine and moved to attack his brain. Scott, who also suffered from Ewing's Sarcoma as a teenager, told reporters in an interview at his home twenty-four hours before he died that he and his wife Haley had decided that any donations should go to the Danny Kay Foundation, which helps pay for treatment for underprivileged children that have cancer. At the opening day of his foundation, named after his two children, he was asked what his greatest accomplishment was…"

Haley looked up at the screen as Nathan's image flashed across it, a huge grin on his face as he lazily petted old Maddox's fur. "My greatest accomplishment?" His deep voice invaded the speakers. "My wife-Haley, and my kids. I do all this for them. None of this would be worth it without them. I wouldn't want to be along for the ride of my life without them."

The reporter looked around, rather surprised at the answer. "And what about your success in basketball…" she trailed off, turning the mike back towards Nathan.

"I love basketball. Basketball has provided me with all I will ever need. But it wasn't my fate to play basketball. It was my fate to find Hales-to be a father. And that's all I'll ever need to know about my life, and about my fate."

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time _

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time  
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial  
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.

Fini


End file.
